Why the double standard.

Nurses Men

Published

So I work in a busy ER. When a male nurse has a female patient who needs a pelvic, foley or straight cath the men automatically come to us female nurses without even a conversation with the patient / family. Even if the patient is unconscious they won't even try.

On on the other hand if I have a make patient who needs and exam, foley, straight cats or STD swabs I have to do these myself. If I ask a male nurse (even the ones who just had you do a female foley) they look at me like I am not only crazy but I am being lazy and trying to get out of work and push it off onto them.

I dont understand this double standard. It has happened in every hospital I have worked in. Maybe someone could explain the thinking.. Also is their a good way to approach this with a male colleague without hurting feelings or pointing fingers.

One other thing... does this logic or thinking apply to the lesbian nurse. She she not be required to do these for the same reason the male nurse is not....?

any insight is extremely valuable

I have been a nurse for 25 years now. I still do not like to cath females, honestly I'm just not good at it. I don't mind cathing males if asked by my co-workers. In my current position I have not had to be in that position for some time. When ever in a position like that it's always good to have a female in the room anyway. I have never worked in an ER.

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If they ask you to cath someone for them, have a task for them to do if you are going to get a back turned when you need assistance. You are being gracious by helping them, so deal your deck of cards if there is a double standard.

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Probably because I want expressed verbal consent.. I'm not doing anything without it.

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Specializes in IMC, school nursing.

https://allnurses.com/men-in-nursing/male-nurses-the-1074655.html

There's your answer. We are much more likely to be accused. We live in a world that has lost empathy and someone can ruin your career because you didn't find them graham crackers at 0300.

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If PT consents to me doing the cath, I just ask for a female to be in the room for the minute of foley insertion. I'm a heterosexual guy, and most men normally prefer me doing the procedure than a female nurse, maybe because we can imagine the discomfort hahaha.

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I certainly "get it." I would never want to be accused of rape/battery for simply doing my job. I will stop what I am doing in a heartbeat to help a male colleague get a task done and would fight anyone that made any false accusations. Unfortunately, many guys use it as an excuse to not do ANYTHING other than start an IV for female patients. Its okay to be cautious but its NOT okay to constantly ask me to do your job FOR you instead of WITH you. In fact I flat out walked away from one of our transport paramedics because he stopped me from going to the bathroom to put his transport leads on a patient. I said are you kidding?? Your partner is right there any you literally transport patients on the heart monitor on a daily basis and you've NEVER asked me to do it before. Do it with your partner at the bedside and stop acting like boobs are a big deal. Sorry for the vent but that just grates my cheese! lol

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Specializes in ER/ICU.

The double standard I am really referring to is that it's seems quite ok for a male RN to have me do procedures they feel uncomfortable doing. I get the with this sue happy society protecting yourself and your license. When it comes to returning the favor they don't seem to feel the need to assist or do male procedure for me. Men feel like they are the only ones who can be accused of wrong doing. I just feel like if I can help a male protect his license they should respond in kind and not make me feel like I am overstepping boundaries when asking them to do male procedures for me after I have graciously done the female ones for them without question concern or bad attitude.

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Specializes in PACU, Oncology/hospice.

female nurse here who works in day surgery, I completely understand where the OP is coming from, I have to do swabs, foleys, take care of vasectomy patients, care for post op male patients who have had their genitals repaired, etc. The minute a female patient comes out of the OR with a breast aug, tubal ligation, hysterectomy, or anything of the sorts I have to then take the patient for the male nurse because he thinks they patient may like a female nurse better without even speaking with the patient or anything they just assume, but they won't take care of the male patients if I feel like they may prefer a male nurse, or if I am uncomfortable due to comments from the patient. I am not sure why it is like it is, but it is and I don't think it will ever change.

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Specializes in PACU, Oncology/hospice.

.........................................

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Specializes in PACU, Oncology/hospice.
The double standard I am really referring to is that it's seems quite ok for a male RN to have me do procedures they feel uncomfortable doing. I get the with this sue happy society protecting yourself and your license. When it comes to returning the favor they don't seem to feel the need to assist or do male procedure for me. Men feel like they are the only ones who can be accused of wrong doing. I just feel like if I can help a male protect his license they should respond in kind and not make me feel like I am overstepping boundaries when asking them to do male procedures for me after I have graciously done the female ones for them without question concern or bad attitude.

agreed, if I can help the male nurse protect his license why can't they return the same favor? males can just as well sue female nurses as well.

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agreed, if I can help the male nurse protect his license why can't they return the same favor? males can just as well sue female nurses as well.

I agree, but there is sexisim going on, most people still expect that their nurse will be a female, and there is not an option. A male having a female nurse is seen as "the norm" and just goes with it.

As I stated before, male nurses still are viewed by the general public as out of the ordinary, and a male nurse touching female genitalia or breasts is viewed as perverted by a lot of the general public.

Not saying either is right, but that is how it is.

As I said before, there is no double standard for me. I will cath a female patient (with another female staff member in the room) if the patient allows it. I will help a female nurse cath a male patient if asked (I have no issue doing the cath itself or just being in the room).

No idea why other nurse are lazy like that.

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Specializes in Med/surg.

I work with some very good nurses who happen to be men.

Usually what i have observed is, that it is the PATIENT who wants the nurse to be female, not that the male nurse has any issue with doing whatever. And this is usually when it is an elderly female patient.

This was really a thing in the 1990s, when i was in college, and worked as an aide in a nursing home. There were some patients, both male and female, who would NOT allow a male aide to provide their care. I don't think it is as bad as it used to be. Another thing i remember was some of the patients would not allow a person of another race to provide their care, and had no problem throwing out racial slurs. Now that i think back on it, it was pretty horrifying. I remember on more than one occasion coming to the rescue of a coworker who was trying to assist someone to the toilet or bed, and getting hit, bit, kicked, and called a "F-ing N".

Very disrespectful.

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