Annoying female coworker conversations

llg, PhD, RN · Feb 20, 2014

I am also a woman ... but like you, I get very tired of hearing the details of people's kids. The occasional discussion of the kids is fine -- and it helps if and when all people are participating in the conversation equally. But some people just don't seem to realize that by constantly turning the conversation back to their kids, they are alienating some of their colleagues.

The same phenomenon can happen with anyone who is obsessed with a particular topic. ... Men and sports ... someone in school always talking about school ... someone in love always talking about their new boyfriend/girlfriend ... etc. All you can do is be polite and try to infuse other topics into the conversation regularly.

vanessaem, BSN, RN · Feb 20, 2014

I think that was a *tad* harsh. I'm just saying, when you hear about the same old thing multiple times a day, everyday, it gets a little old. Just looking for a light hearted conversation here, nothing more!
Thank you for your opinion!

I wasn't intending it to be harsh but that's the reality. Don't get me wrong. I love that we have men in nursing but you have to understand in a profession that's predominately women, you will hear "female" conversations. There's no real way around it. I mean, I don't care to hear about other people's personal lives either. Like I said before, you should start a conversation about some neutral topics that you and everyone else may be interested in, tune them out or remove yourself from the situation if their conversations are bothering you that much. That's what I would do.

jimsauce · Feb 20, 2014

That's not really a female co-worker thing, that's mostly a "people with kids thing." Get used to it; if someone has a child, you can expect them to talk about his or her child at least 75% of the time.

eeffoc_emmig · Feb 20, 2014

I'm sure someone you work with feels the same about your topics of conversation. Just sayin'.

kungpoopanda · Feb 20, 2014

I think that was a *tad* harsh. I'm just saying, when you hear about the same old thing multiple times a day, everyday, it gets a little old. Just looking for a light hearted conversation here, nothing more!
Thank you for your opinion!

No you weren't. You wanted to "stoke up some cameraderie" in a divisive way along tired old gender lines. There are plenty of annoying conversations by people of either gender that you need to ignore or politely participate in.

Hell, I'm a Panda and I don't watch much TV, but I don't can peeps TV conversations or slam them for enjoying this type of entertainment. Sometimes being sociable means putting up with other people's interests.

savoytruffle, BSN, RN · Feb 20, 2014

I like to talk about my motorcycle. And music, books, movies. I had enough of my kids at home. It's nice to talk to people about other things besides my family. Love them to pieces, but I go to work to get away some days. You're young. You may be gabbing it up with the ladies when you have a family later. Small kids really take over your world and leave little time for anything else. Plus, parenting is hard. It leaves you second guessing every decision and action. Sometimes you need to talk over what happened to feel supported by other parents who've been there. Just continue to be polite and professional and supportive and you'll go far in your career.

mindlor · Feb 24, 2014

I have always loved women for may reasons. Working now as a nurse and being surrounded by them all the time has only made me love them more. There are the occasional ones that are just impossible but most are amazing

lxpatterson · Feb 24, 2014

Sorry, cannot support you too, much, maybe so twenty years ago when I was your age, but now, I like hearing about my coworker's lives, because by just casual listening, I have an idea of how this may affect there work, mood and dealing with patient's.

That is totally true. It used to bother me when a woman would talk about a "bad" or "underperforming" spouse/partner, and of course all the women would dogpile on this guy. At first, I'd ask: "come on, did you ever meet this dude?" or "what's it to you, anyways?"

You can imagine how popular that was. And then I realized: that man ain't my bro, let him fight his own fight. This conversation is helpful to me so far as it helps me see who is going to need a bit more help or some extra time on break, and I am perfectly happy to do a bit extra to bank some goodwill points.

RNGuy12 · Mar 1, 2014

I'm uncomfortable qualifying certain annoying conversations as being of "female coworkers." Although OP, I understand your sense of alienation when the topic of conversations are about clothes and boyfriends (and I don't mean this to be stereotypical, these were actually subjects from work today). The thing is, I don't view it as a male/female thing. As others have pointed out, not every conversation we encounter in life is going to be what we personally find riveting. I find myself bored and annoyed when one of the doctors talks cars to me. I'm a man, but I'm not especially fascinated by cars. It's really not a gender thing, it's a different interest thing.

It's no surprise to me, that as a 22 year old man, you are not interested in the goings on of someone's child. You have different interests. I don't think you purposely intended to be divisive. As a man in a field that is primarily made up of women, I can feel out of the loop so to speak if I happen to be working with others who don't consider their audience (i.e, me). On that same note, socializing is a give and take. Sometimes you gotta tolerate conversation you find inane because odds are there maybe some subject you talk about that someone else may find annoying.

I do agree some of the replies are a bit harsh and one in particular came off as more divisive than the OP because it implied that as men we are unwelcome outsiders in the profession. Rather than saying the OP should be tolerable of the "child topics" because people are different and sometimes to endure a dull conversation is part of our social give and take, the poster's message came off as essentially saying "tough, you're in a woman's world and if you don't like it you can leave it."

Mr. Murse · Mar 1, 2014

I love women. I don't mean that in some "macho" way, I just like the way they work and think, and I enjoy the conversations I have with my female coworkers for the most part. I'm glad that I don't work with a bunch of guys, although I appreciate my fellow male nurses on my floor. Sometimes my female coworkers will apologize for talking about certain things around me but I'm like, "hey, I knew what I was getting into" and for the most part they feel comfortable talk about anything with me now (and yes, I'm straight). I've even been involved in conversations about periods, relationships, children, and much stranger things, but I've always been one who enjoys being exposed to worlds I'm not familiar with. We always laugh about it because we have some of the strangest conversations on my floor at night.

Look at it as an opportunity to get a better glimpse of how the mind of a woman works. Ha. Very few men have the chance to see and hear the conversations we do sometimes.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Mar 1, 2014

I worked with an excellent nurse years ago...he commented that it improved his dating life having such an intimate knowledge about the female mind.

look for the glass being half full instead of half empty

Davey Do · Mar 2, 2014

This is from another Thread in which I approached this same subject:

One thing that I do now is make comparative remarks to the Female Nurses'. For example, when the Female Nurses obsessively talk and go on and on and on about their Children, I get to talk about my vasectomy.
Oh, I realize I'm being passive-aggressive, but a lot of People respond well to insidious remarks. It's amazing how many facts about my vasectomy I can come up with to match their obsessive comments about their Children!
I've found that the consistent tit-for-tat approach works well with those who "just don't get it".