MedicalZebra Update

porterwoman · Feb 2, 2006

I am so, so sorry. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers, Rick.

SmilingBluEyes · Feb 2, 2006

So sorry Rick. This is sad news.

lexcourben · Feb 2, 2006

So sorry for your loss Rick.

Sandy

perfectbluebuildings, BSN, RN · Feb 2, 2006

I'm very sorry for your loss...

P_RN, ADN, RN · Feb 3, 2006

My sincere condolences on the loss of your fiance. She seemed a nice person.

elizabells, BSN, RN · Feb 3, 2006

I always enjoyed her posts as well. I just went back through her history, and her first post was a year ago today. We'll miss her.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Feb 3, 2006

Rick, you have my sympathies........your fiancee was a good person, and she added a lot to this board. She will be missed.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers tonight.

Bless you.

gypsyatheart · Feb 3, 2006

My condolences, I am very sorry for your loss. Truly so sad....

68RN · Feb 3, 2006

So very saddened to hear of your loss!! May your many memories together help you in the days ahead. Sincerely, Bapakay

MS._Jen_RN, ASN, RN · Feb 3, 2006

May you and and all who loved her find peace of mind and soul.

~Jen

MedicalZebra · Feb 4, 2006

This is the "XX eulogy" I did as one of her final wishes. I'm sharing it with you because it includes something she had written that puts in perspective why she so vigorously sought out sites likes yours. I can't thank you all enough for all the help you gave her. This will be my last entry...

Take care everyone.

I just wanted to begin by telling a bit about Darlene. And I will be brief and to point as Dar would want it. You know by looking at her you wouldn't have known the life she was living or how she even pulled off having one:

You've seen the certificate from SETI. She'd spend hours on the computer helping find signs of life out there through a special program online.

She also did the same type of thing with gene research to aid in cures for things like Cancer and other diseases like the one that took her Kidneys.

And you've seen the pictures of her singing. And she had such a beautiful voice and she loved to go to Karaoke. I guess after braving all the things she braved, getting up in front perfect strangers to sing was a cake walk for her. And she didn't NEED the music or the words on the screens she KNEW the songs she sang...

and boy could sing!

She turned a feral cat she named Mars, into the "snuggliest" lap cat you have ever seen. And on top of that, she trained him to walk on a lease!

You don't believe go see the pictures.

I implore you to ask anyone that knew Dar about the things you see here.

Feel free to read her "Final Instructions" she left us.

(then my unknown caller ringer went off on my cell phone - that's the one that plays "When the saints go marching in" I turned it off and picked up where I left off... I enjoyed the irony later. )

It's a true testament to her uncanny ability to drive home her "will" even if it meant driving you crazy or off the road in the process. She had allot of will power but, in the end even that could not sustain her.

I loved her dearly, so if I'm crying it's just because I miss her. I hope she understands that. I'm not crying FOR her because I know she's in a better place NOW. Finally, I'd like to share with you some of HER words in hopes it will help you to better understand her and life she was living. These are her words--

I started hemodialysis in 1988, at the age of 23. My kidneys failed due to MPGN, an auto-immune disease which destroys kidney tissue. I learned that I would need to have dialysis three times a week, for four hours per session. To say I was scared was an understatement! I had never heard of dialysis before I became ill. There were no books in the library about dialysis, and I didn't have a computer at the time-- which meant I had no access to information about dialysis other than the Patient Handbook I received at my first treatment. I felt isolated, and angry at the amount of time I was forced to spend at dialysis.

As if the sheer waste of time wasn't bad enough, I began to have non-stop complications. I was in the hospital at least once every year, and it seemed

that as soon as one problem was solved, another popped up. After six harrowing months on dialysis, I got a transplant - but that was filled with complications, too. The kidney rejected after three years of peritoneal dialysis before that option closed, also-- too many bouts of peritonitis.

So it was back to the dreaded hemo, living my life around the dialysis machine. I told Sue, my social worker, that I had been through it all. She agreed, and said, "You could help allot of patients, because you've been through every modality." It had never occurred to me that all of the suffering I'd been through could form a knowledge base which I could use to help other patients... suddenly, all of the problems I'd experienced became valuable because they gave me the ability to identify with other patients. I could then help others going through the same things, because I had "been there"-- something well-meaning doctors and nurses could never do.

I'm thankful that my social worker took the time to talk to me at dialysis--

otherwise I might be still dreading my dialysis sessions instead of looking forward to them as more opportunities to learn. I know that I have helped fellow patients, which gives meaning to my life and the suffering I've endured-- that's what gets me through it.

Those were her words, and I thank you for listening to them and allowing me to share her life with you.

nursejoey05 · Feb 7, 2006

So sorry Rick. I just lost my husband after a very lengthy illness. I do know how you feel, and the comfort that this forum brings. I'm praying for you right now.