Disrespectful Employees

Specialties LTC Directors

Updated:   Published

Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.

I'm a relatively new DNS, but I've been a nurse for 25 years and have had every nursing job there is to have in LTC and then some. How do all y'all deal with disrespectful staff? I don't mind a spirited discussion but I am mighty tired of nurses saying "How do YOU know?" Mind you I've been a nurse longer than they've been on the planet. They complain about everything, feel 'entitled' as new nurses, and are so rude it's unbelievable. One of them today was complaining and said she was over worked because she had 33 patients on a 2p-10p shift. I explained to her that she had no sick people, no IVs, no trachs, no dressings...she said 'Why don't YOU try it'. I told her that I had worked on a true sub acute floor and had 30 patients for meds, treatments, 5 IV's with antibiotics every 4 hours, 2 fresh trachs, 3 central lines for TPN, 2 people at life's end from AIDS AND I had to do my own MDSs. She said "You did that and got out on time?" Yes I did I told her. "Then you must be a better nurse than I am and besides it was probably 20 years ago." I was speechless. I wanted to tell her I AM a better nurse than she is and it wasn't that long ago. Instead I told her if she was going to speak to me in that tone of voice, she could leave the office. She slammed the door on the way out. I am at my wit's end on how to deal with these totally unreasonable fresh nurses. Any advice?

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Geriatrics, Call Center RN.

I'm sad to say but society as a whole has become more rude than I could ever imagine. That is really mild compared to my facility. It seems younger people now think that the world owes them something, and that they don't have to earn it. I would have also reminded her back in "the day" we didn't have the luxury of computers. Seems computers makes everything faster. I wish I had a solution.

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Specializes in Geriatrics, WCC.

I hate dealing with those types of employees also. But, even though also do not having to perform employee discipline, I am there to make sure our residents get the best possible care they can. So, when an employee wants to be rude to anyone else (resident, family or co-worker) I will write them up for conduct / attitude/ insubordination whichever fits the current problem. I have found out they either straighten up or are their way out the door. LTC requires teamwork and one bad attitude makes it very difficult.

I have found out over the years that management (myself included) would rather put in some shifts working the floor due to openings than keep a poor nurse just because they are a warm body. In your case, i would have written them up on the spot.

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Why dont you work that shift and show her how easy it is to finish up your work on time? It will only take 1 time, just have her shadow you. You will get more respect that way in my opinion.

Nursing homes are hard, having 33 patients really is difficult in my experience. That scenario you gave would be much more difficult to work but in my honest opinion it would also be extremely unsafe and end stage pts would likely not be given the care and attention needed.

New nurses are under horrendous pressure, especially with a large load of patients. Their lack of experience really take a toll. We all have been there but what seems minor to you could be pretty intimidating or scary to a new nurse.

I quit the nursing home after about 10 months, I will be honest--it was just too much for me. Never had a problem in the ICU or ER but bad memories of those long med passes.

Again just me 2 cents (which isnt worth much) but as a supervisor and older nurse you should give more support before writing someone up. I think you would get better results and more respect.

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Write her up. I can't imagine speaking to any of my elders in that manner, let alone a boss.

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I agree with Suesquatch. If she talks to you like that, imagine what she says to the poor residents under or over her breath. And after enough write ups for poor attitude, a dismissal would go a long way to providing the others an incentive to look at their own behavior. I would never talk to my boss like that.

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Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.
Noryn said:
Why dont you work that shift and show her how easy it is to finish up your work on time? It will only take 1 time, just have her shadow you. You will get more respect that way in my opinion.

Nursing homes are hard, having 33 patients really is difficult in my experience. That scenario you gave would be much more difficult to work but in my honest opinion it would also be extremely unsafe and end stage pts would likely not be given the care and attention needed.

New nurses are under horrendous pressure, especially with a large load of patients. Their lack of experience really take a toll. We all have been there but what seems minor to you could be pretty intimidating or scary to a new nurse.

I quit the nursing home after about 10 months, I will be honest--it was just too much for me. Never had a problem in the ICU or ER but bad memories of those long med passes.

Again just me 2 cents (which isnt worth much) but as a supervisor and older nurse you should give more support before writing someone up. I think you would get better results and more respect.

Why should I as the Director of Nursing have to work a shift on the floor to get respect? I've been a nurse for 25 years and have worked plenty of floors with more than that number of patients. I gave excellent care...it's all about time management and attitude. It seems to me more and more nurses feel entitled and think they shouldn't really have to work hard. She practically said this to me...she didn't like to work hard....If someone is rude, arrogant,condescending, and insubordinate, I do NOT think I need to give them any more support.

By the way, 33 patients...NOT unsafe, she's not a new nurse either....just lazy with an attitude

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CapeCodMermaid said:
Why should I as the Director of Nursing have to work a shift on the floor to get respect? I've been a nurse for 25 years and have worked plenty of floors with more than that number of patients. I gave excellent care...it's all about time management and attitude. It seems to me more and more nurses feel entitled and think they shouldn't really have to work hard. She practically said this to me...she didn't like to work hard....If someone is rude, arrogant,condescending, and insubordinate, I do NOT think I need to give them any more support.

By the way, 33 patients...NOT unsafe, she's not a new nurse either....just lazy with an attitude

I always liked and respected my managers and supervisors who lead by example, just my preference. I personally feel and I dont think I am alone that nursing homes in general are horribly understaffed. I am not blaming you, it is just the way it is. 33 patients I think is too much with med passes and all the paperwork involved. I dont care what a matrix or the state says, that is just my opinion--and I have been wrong many times :bugeyes:

She could be acting out of frustration but again she could just be that type of person. Unless your nursing home is different, every one that I have seen is extremely hard work, in my honest opinion too hard, especially for the pay. Maybe not for the RNs, but the lpns and aides, wow they have to work their butt off to finish.

Just wanted to add, that is how I have always supervised. Gotten in the trenches with the troops, allowed them to vent, agreed with them and gave them support instead of nit picking.

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Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
CapeCodMermaid said:
I am at my wit's end on how to deal with these totally unreasonable fresh nurses. Any advice?

I can't stand that attitude either and I am seeing it almost every day. I've been so afraid that the problem lies within me--This lack of mutual respect is widening the gap between the "old" aka experienced and the "young" aka newbies.If you try to communicate constructively they claim you are "eating " them because they are young. We have a current crop of "fresh" (I like that term because it cuts across the age barrier-)cna's lpn's and rn's with major attitudes.They want to be "in charge" even though many can't handle the responsibilty.They won't listen to input from anyone.They often thrive on finding faults and pointing fingers at everyone else and to top it off they are rude and disrespectful to all. The work ethic I an seeing is alot different from mine-I believe in hitting the ground running because you don't know what the day will bring.Not this crowd-and if someone gets pulled all you hear is whining and complaining.Well-if they had gotten off their butts at 7am they would not be up against the wall...

I also have a"fresh" RN as supervisor-she is un-believable.She brings her numerous problems with her home life to work so you never know what you are dealing with-she is happy chatty Kathy one minute and the next she's dour and speaking in mono sylables.Don't dare make a nursing judgement without calling her for advice-but as often as not she'll bite your head off for calling her.Our administration are all nurses that worked for years as staff in the facility and any time you have a problem you get the " when I was on the floor I ..." speech.Which I don't find constructive at all since none of us will ever BE them (I don't live on No doze and work 80 hr weeks ) and they seem to all be revisionsists.They never had any sort of problmes to hear them tell it now.

I never would have dared to speak to a superior in the manner that I witness today-in nursing or in retail or in any job I have ever held.I show my co-workers the same respect..Do we ignore it because it seems to be the norm for this group of people? Do we speak out and be accused of eating our young?

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I think the fault lies somewhat on both ends but I still place much more blame on the employer. These companies no longer seem to care about their employees, yet many make millions and billions dollars of profit. Pay the ceo a crazy amount of money, give administrations the life of luxury yet this comes from taking everything they can from the end worker.

People in these jobs are treated bad so they often they are angry frustrated, etc. I was reading a great article the other day about a guy who worked for UPS and retired from them. He calls himself a UPS man, wears their hat at 95 years old and talks great about the company. Where did that go?

When I worked for the big hospital chains, I was honestly too embarassed to wear their clothing. I was not proud of them getting caught for medicare fraud.

I am lucky though, I love my current employer--not really working as a RN but I use my nursing knowledge. I gladly wear clothing with my companies name on it. My company honestly takes care of me and you wont find me being rude or disrespectful to them.

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Noryn, while I understand all of your points about corporations, they have nothing at all to do with interpersonal rudeness and disrespect.

I did, last summer, lose my temper with my DON about how a charge nurse was treating me. I also promptly apologized for losing my mind. Bad behavior is bad behavior, period.

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Suesquatch said:
Noryn, while I understand all of your points about corporations, they have nothing at all to do with interpersonal rudeness and disrespect.

I did, last summer, lose my temper with my DON about how a charge nurse was treating me. I also promptly apologized for losing my mind. Bad behavior is bad behavior, period.

I think it has some impact on an employee's overall outlook. A frustrated employee with no feelings of worth is likely not going to be pleasant. I still believe that a happy employee is a better and more productive employee.

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