Lost it at Work

[skittlebear]

We are all stressed out at work due to several nurses out sick. Without giving out too much detail, I pretty much lost it today. We've been working short for a while. I go in to accept report for my assigned pts. I thought It would be better because we would have more nurses. No, found out 3 more called in sick! I didn't feel safe accepting my assignment, especially since I was on day 6 working short-staffed. I wanted a different assignment since I had been working with the most critical patients. Our supervisor resigned, so the only person to contact about this was our DON. Of course, I did do that but she didn't answer the phone, like always. I started cursing (not in front of the pts) about how she (DON) never answers her phone and how much I hate her. Several other nurses were around that I know feel the same way about her but they were wide eyed when they heard me lose my temper (I'm usually quite and accept any assignment with a smile and am very passive). I told them all I would walk out and leave before I accepted my assignment (and meant it at the time). 2 nurses were happy to trade with me but when I finally got in touch with the DON, I simply told her I didn't feel comfortable accepting the assignment today because I felt tired and overworked. She had a problem with that because "we can't just pick and choose which pts we want". She did switch my assigment but I know that I am now on her bad side.

Has anyone ever lost their temper like that at work? I know it was uncalled for. I am just sick and stressed out and sick of working short all the time. S

Sorry for the horrible grammer, I am just so tired and will shortly be working day 7. UGH!

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

Sounds like a really stressful situation. When do you get a day off?

[nursel56]

Sorry you've had it so rough, Skittlebear. {{{:redpinkhe}}} Your DON is a textbook case of "How NOT to be a good leader" when the going gets rough. Hope you get some well-deserved rest soon.

[fungez]

Your DON sounds quite hateable. I hate her and I've never even met her. There's no reason to work that short. They can always get agency or other staff - all they have to do is offer double or triple time, and they'll have nurses fighting over who gets to come in. But they don't do that. Instead they don't answer their phone (which she should be fired for - she's the DON and the buck stops with her) and they stand their with their hands spread and say innocently "well, there's just not enough staff! Sorry!" and we're supposed to accept that.

My advice - don't work more overtime unless you need the money. Their staffing issues are not your problem, but when you make it your problem, it ceases to become their problem. They don't care if you kill yourself falling asleep at the wheel, if your husband divorces you because you're never home, or your children forget who their mommy is.

[southern rn]

If your working extra shifts to help cover I would stop. And who cares if she is mad at you..you have been there, working short, 6 nights running. You should have had your pick of assignments without having to say something before one of the other nurses offered to switch. Have they all worked 6 nights in a row, too? And your DON should be doing a much better job of covering her shifts..even if it means her hiney coming to work.I feel for ya!

[shiccy]

I agree with the above. It's not your fault that your place is short staffed. If this is a chronic problem, then they need to hire outside help (be it an agency nurse, per diem help, etc). We had a similar problem where I was before we changed managers, and it was horrible. People were not doing their jobs b/c there was nobody to enforce the rules, no job expectations were present, etc. Once the new manager stepped in she put a stop to this stuff, and it's been better since. The thing that you have to remember is that change can't happen overnight, and that if you have vacation time coming, now is the best time to put in for it. This is also a good time to reference if you just need a day off. If you're not feeling up to it and your patients care is going to suffer, then you need to call off yourself (we call it a mental health day). Nurses are people too, they deserve time off and they deserve to be treated right.

The only ONLY thing I have as a suggestion the next time (and obviously I wasn't there so I can't say if this was the case or not) is that if you talked to your DON when you were upset, that's the worst time to do so. When you feel like you're at the point where you're going to explode, you need to take a deep breath in, count to ten, and remember to ALWAYS be pleasant but stand firm with the reason to change.

I've complained about acuity discrepancies with my supervisors before, and it is almost never an intentional thing to give a full assignment of total care patients. Always remember to keep your cool (even if that's literally the hardest thing to do sometimes!)

Finally, if you think that your relatively heavy assignment is not fair in regards to your coworkers relatively light assignment and your DON/supervisor isn't there, by all means ask your coworkers to switch a few of them up. Put it to them as a favor. If they switch then "you'll owe 'em" (even though you'd always do the same for them). They all know how it is, too, so they'll be almost always willing to switch if it genuinely is an unfair assignment.

[caliotter3]

I agree that you should not take chances with your own health. Should you end up in the hospital because of neglecting yourself, I can guarantee that your DON will not visit or call. If you have to, call in sick yourself and get a day of sleep.

[aura_of_laura]

This sounds similar to a situation I was in a year ago. Stop picking up the overtime. It's one thing to help out in a crisis, but when "the crisis" lasts more than a week or two, it becomes the staus quo. As long as enough nurses will put up with the abuse and pick up the slack, management will be content to let things continue as they are.

Remember - it's only a job. It's not your responsibility to make sure the unit is always well-staffed. Next time someone calls on your day off, don't answer. You need a break.

[GoECU]

I agree. You need to take care of yourself for your safety and the safety of the patients.

[Zookeeper3]

OK I've done that too. Different situation, but trashed the boss in public and I was the assistant manager.. even worse. What I did, and just know, I'm all about accountability..... I went to her personally and told her why I blew up, what I said... similar to you.. apologized and told her it was in front of the staff... so she knew I talked trash about her... yep owned up for it. (I won't say it behind your back if I can't say it face to face).

Well it was rough, we worked it through, and what I told my manager is that my plan was for each staff member that heard me, I would talk to them personally and let them know, that although the manager and I may disagree at times, It was inappropriate for me to air my complaints in front of the staff, and not give her a chance to recitfy it.

While we still had our issues, and I hated the situation I was placed in, had to deal with unsafely for 4 hours, she did come through, and the staff needed to know that her hands were tied, she was at home trying her best and I had point blank dogged her.

I sucked it up even thought the resolution wasn't what I wanted, wasn't perfect, but it was honestly the best she could do and I gave her full credit.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

Stop the 6 shifts in a row for sure. You'll think you can do it, but as you experienced, you'll be a lot closer to losing your discretion. They aren't going to thank you for it. Us old coots keep saying it, and you young whipper snappers keep thinking they care. They don't, but they'll pretend if it means you'll work 6 in a row. They'll still drop the bag if you make a mistake on that 6th shift, no hesitation.

If staff keeps covering what is their motivation to get more help? None. OT is much cheaper than hiring someone else and paying benefits. Your manager gets a bonus when she comes in under budget, and keeping this going for a month might be worthwhile for her.

[skittlebear]

Thanks to all who responded. I am most definitely going to cut back on the OT. What gets me about our DON the most is, is that she expects us to answer our phones on our off time when we are short-staffed. Yep, she even said that she expects us to and was very aggressive toward that. The thing is, is she doesn't even answer her phone most of the time and she is REQUIRED to. I am going to cut back my hours and keep my ringer off (probably like she does ). I'm finally getting some days off so I will be well rested.

In the meantime, I am going to try and find another job b/c that isn't the only issue I have with her. It's many, and I feel like she's turning our facility upside down and is too harsh on her nurses. She hasn't been our DON for long, so I thought I'd give her a chance. I'm not so sure now. Thanks again for all who responded.