Long Distance Relationships and Nursing School

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Specializes in LTC.

Nearly two years back I bumped into an old friend from high school and we started casually dating. For nearly two years I've been pushing away any strong feelings I've had for him as he lives two hours away from me and I hated he idea of maintaining a long distance relationship.

Needless to say I finally realized I couldn't keep myself away from him and I couldn't deny I had any feelings for him. I gave in and mustered up a lot of courage (with the help of my friend tequila) and told him how I felt. We've decided to give things a try and I've been happier than I've been in a long time.

The thing that scares me is I'm going into my second semester of nursing school and I know that relationships, work, and nursing school tend to be a very insane/disastrous combination. I can only imagine that adding long distance to the mix will be harder, especially when one of us doesn't drive.

I guess my point behind this post is I'm wondering if anyone has done this and has their relationship survived?

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Specializes in Med-Surg/Trauma.

I haven't personally thrown the long distance component into the mix, but I can understand how stressful this combo will potentially be. I just wanted to offer a little encouragement-- if you're committed to each other and understand your situation (school) will come to an end in a couple years maybe that can help you both get through this time.

It would probably make life a whole lot easier and would save valuable hours you would have spent driving for studying etc if he could come to you. I'm assuming from your post that he's the one that doesn't drive.... (which is a bummer as it would make things easier) Is there a bus he could take to see you every other weekend or something like that? Just be sure to carve out a little time for him on a regular basis so he knows how important he is to you (email, phone conversations etc).

I guess I'm just wishing you the best and hoping that it all works out for you in school and the two of you in your relationship. Once you're done with school if things are still going well you can relocate a lot easier and have more flexibility. You will persevere and make it through. Wishing you the best:loveya:

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

My situation is a little different but here goes:

My husband was career military. Over the years, we have been separated up to one year at a time. This occurred many times. We currently live 200 miles apart due to our job situations. Some hints:

1. Stay in communication. Nowadays, hubby and I text each other a couple of times a day. The texting gives us both the chance to answer when we have the time but still allows us to be apart of each other's day.

2. We went into this current separation knowing that it would not be easy but also very committed to the idea that we still loved each other. We really work on communicating.

3. Sometimes I go to where he is (he has a condo and I have a house) and sometimes he comes here. Again, we compromise.

4. Our sons and grandchildren live in my area and we make a conscious effort to be there for them too so that we still are thought of as a family.

5. We acknowledged that it wasn't always going to be fun, especially in the winter with much snow to see each other on the weekends but again, we're adults and our relationship is important.

6. Like above poster, flexibility is the key. Realize that this is a new relationship and you need to develop it slowly and not to the exclusion of the rest of your life.

Good luck.

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My boyfriend has been in the middle east for the past year due to the fact that he's in the military(but he gets to come home in three months:D). Our relationship has not suffered at all....it's gotten so much stronger. Distance can either make or break you but it's what you choose to do with your situation. I'll say this...it makes the time you get to spend together that much sweeter. Ignore the people who say it can't work because if you really care about the other person it can.

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Specializes in Home Care, Hospice, OB.
distance can either make or break you but it's what you choose to do with your situation. quote]

1000% correct!

my husband of thirty years and i dated throughout college at two single sex colleges 300 miles apart, in the days before e-mail and text messages. that was followed by both of us being in the army for several years. :usarm:

you will either learn to stay close spiritually and emotionally and draw closer, or one of you will feel its not worth the trouble and/or get involved with someone else. either way, you'll know what your next step is after school and boards...

:innerconf

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I have not been in this situation, but I figured I'd throw in my :twocents:.

I personally don't think I could do a long distance relationship. I have a hard time being away from my husband and I don't know if I could handle it, but if I had to and I had that strong of feelings for someone I was dating, I'd probably find a way to make it work! I think most people feel better when that person is near them, but sometimes it's not possible and you don't have a choice! So, it all depends on the two of you - what you do to make it work.

It is important that he understands just how involved Nursing school is as well so he doesn't get upset if you can't call or if you don't pick up the phone. If you have that understanding between you, then I bet that'll help.

I do agree with the other poster that this will either make or break you. Either your relationship can handle it or it can't (which is why I said I don't think I could). I hope your relationship survives it! Best of luck!

Lori

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I had a long distance relationship w/ my first husband and with another boyfriend over the years, and in both cases, I ended up unhappy because I had too much time to myself. If I was super overwhelmingly busy I don't think that would be a problem. There are times when I wish I had more to myself these days and with school work, its a lot easier to do when someone isnt trying to have a conversation w/ you in the middle of a complex throught process, yk? :)

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Specializes in PCA.

I cant tell you how well it will go, but i can tell you your not alone. This semester I will be doing the same thing, my boyfriend is going to school a hour and a half away.

He's been 3.5 hours away from me this summer, and has been extremely busy so I guess it has been good practice, sorta like a trial run, lol.

We're planning to just talk a little each day and understand how busy each of us are. We're also planning to hangout atleast once a week, even if its just for breakfast sunday morning or something... I kinda see it as a test to see if we are strong enough and can make it, if things dont work out I guess it just isnt ment to be. Good Luck!! Hope things goes well between the 2 of you, if it really is ment to be you will make it!!

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Specializes in SRNA.

Yes, you are definitely not alone. My b/f of four years is moving to San Francisco for grad school (2 years) and I'll be moving to Baltimore for my 2-year BSN program. We're still unsure of how its going to work, but I love seeing the advice and strategies that other posters list. Realistically, we will only get to see each other over winter, spring and summer breaks.

I think its incredibly important for both partners in the relationship to have the same expectations regarding communication and what each individual will do to contribute to keeping the relationship strong.

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My situation is a little different but here goes:

My husband was career military. Over the years, we have been separated up to one year at a time. This occurred many times. We currently live 200 miles apart due to our job situations. Some hints:

1. Stay in communication. Nowadays, hubby and I text each other a couple of times a day. The texting gives us both the chance to answer when we have the time but still allows us to be apart of each other's day.

2. We went into this current separation knowing that it would not be easy but also very committed to the idea that we still loved each other. We really work on communicating.

3. Sometimes I go to where he is (he has a condo and I have a house) and sometimes he comes here. Again, we compromise.

4. Our sons and grandchildren live in my area and we make a conscious effort to be there for them too so that we still are thought of as a family.

5. We acknowledged that it wasn't always going to be fun, especially in the winter with much snow to see each other on the weekends but again, we're adults and our relationship is important.

6. Like above poster, flexibility is the key. Realize that this is a new relationship and you need to develop it slowly and not to the exclusion of the rest of your life.

Good luck.

WOW!!!

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Specializes in LTC.

Thanks all for the tips/hints/suggestions. I'm just really nervous about how the semester will work out.

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Long distance relationships DO work! I've been in one for over 2 years! I'm starting nursing school in 3 weeks, so I don't know how that is going to affect anything, but my situation was a lot harder than normal. My fiance is 1500 miles away at the Air Force Academy. I have one phone call at night and it's about 5 minutes long. It's hard, but when both people in the relationship work together, it makes the relationship that much stronger! So I would assume that nursing school could help. If you (and your significant other) are willing to put effort into the relationship, you will be just fine! :) Good luck with everything!!!

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