LOL moments at work

Nurses Humor

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1. 95 year old patient watering the plants out of his urinal.

2. Me: Mrs. Jane are you in any pain?

Mrs. Jane: Yes, looking at you.

3. Giving patient some medicine and she says " I don't want this, just give me a bottle of beer" Me: sorry I don't have my liquor license yet.

share some of you lol moments at work.

4 AM and I'm hanging my last soluset on a patient who'd slept through the previous times I'd been in the room. All of a sudden she goes "Excuse me. What do you know about the Portuguese language?" Nearly wet my pants!!

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On Christmas morning I was doing neuro checks on a 90 year old ICU patient (long story). I said Mrs. S do you know what today is? She replies "I hope it's not my d***n birthday again!"

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Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.

One of those "you'd better laugh or you're going to cry" moments:

we had a patient with an extensive psych history, who was absolutely lovely. She would sit in a Geri chair all day, coloring and drinking coffee. Once in a while, though, she was, well...bad.

One night, around 3 AM or so, she was out in her chair (sleepless night) and out of nowhere, started yelling, "FIRE! FIRE!!! DON'T YOU FEEL IT BURNING YOU?!"

Yeah, she woke up more than a few patients and some were pretty freaked out, especially the confused ones!

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

Had a man in my LTC facility who had a foley. He asked one morning " Are you highly educated in the member?" Love my LTC people! They make me smile everyday!!

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

One night a few weeks ago I was in charge in the newborn nursery, and part of that job entails witnessing moms' signatures on the circumcision consent. This particular family was still not decided on whether they actually wanted it or not, so they had a ton of questions about caring for circ vs. intact and I was doing my best to answer them all. This went on for about half an hour, and they had all their questions answered but still hadn't decided. I told them I'd be there all night, so if they made a decision to please have their couplet nurse call me.

Dad says, "So what is your title, and who should our nurse call when we decide? Are you some sort of member consultant or something?" Well, I've been called a lot of names in my life, but that one was a first!

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This week we admitted a 100-year-old lady with a fractured hip. She still lives independently in her own home with family assistance for transportation. Anyway, she was in the lounge with a few other people and someone asked how old she was. She replied, "I'm eighty-four," then thought for a moment, "No, I'm older than that. I passed a hundred. I must be a hundred and four." First time I've ever heard a LOL inflate her age!

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Specializes in Med Surg, ER, OR.

Had a 50-something male, chronic etoh-er admitted for pain management. We continued to give this guy doses of morphine and later on switched to dilaudid. Never had a problem with him and was completely alert the whole time he was admitted, until one night. Started getting more and more confused as the night went on. Already had a staff member sitting with him and due to recent surgery had a catheter in place. Long story short, I am in talking to him about the need for the catheter and he wasn't quite getting it. Showed him how the catheter drained urine into the bag and showed him how he was attached to it. Still wasn't getting it. I followed my finger from the bag back to his member, and the fact that this thing (member) was attached to him, just simply amazed him. In the calmest voice he looks up at me and asks, "Can I play with it?"

LOL couldn't believe it. I just keeled over in laughter, and since his room placement was across from the nurses station, we had security and other staff members just outside, all of whom were busting up in laughter. Not a dry eye in the whole area!

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While not a patient.. but my father to be more precise. After undergoing spinal surgery on his neck for an abscess in alaska. He was on some heavy pain killers of course but he kept insisting that in the middle of the night. Cats would come around in the ICU and that someone would let two cats play with the curtain for his room. Now he was in and out.. I'd ask how he was doing and he's respond with the normal "Hey I crashed the space shuttle last night. It was awesome". I knew he was loopy but after a week or so, he was still stuck on these cats that roam his room at night. He'd complain to all the nurses about them. So I asked the charge nurse about any cats and she assured me no animals were in the ICU period. Needless it continued. I searched hours upon hours for these cats. I even started to wonder if a psyc eval was in order. So one night I fell asleep there and I'm awoken by a swift kick and him pointing at the curtain going.. "Look.. there's the cats.. I'm not crazy... I told you so.."

There. Under the curtain. Were two fur boots. Worn by the visitor for the bed next to his. As she'd move around his neighbors bed.. the curtain would move and two furry boots would "play".

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Specializes in MR/DD.

I had a patient who was convinced there were bunnies attacking her feet and legs while she slept..... it was just the Sequential Compression Devices

Anesthesia makes people hallucinate very odd things...

One patient I had was very frightened to get out of bed I was able to convince her to get up to her chair but, she would not go any further, she was incontinent or used a bed pan..she Refused to go to the bathroom.

A few days later (after her confusion went away) she explained to me that the paper towel dispenser by the sink looked like some sort of monster with a big mouth and she was afraid it was going to eat her. ..

Another patient I cared for (who was NPO) had a craving for a hamburger I often observed her holding objects (her gown, a cup, her call light, the telephone) just like she was holding a hamburger and try to take bites out of them.

A GSW (abdomen) covered in tattoos had one tattoo on his member that said "suck this" .. the funny thing about it is that he put it there himself from his point of view, meaning that only he could read it.. to everyone else's point of view it was upside down.

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Specializes in Medical /Neuro, Oncology, LTC, Home Care.
Was looking after a 90-something lady, had a conversation that went something like this -

Me: Hi, I'm Rebecca, I'm your nurse for the day

Her: Oh, my best friend was called Rebecca

Me: Ah, thats nice....

Her: She was lovely, her birthday was in September

Me: Oh, wow - *my* birthday is in September too!

Her: Her birthday was on the ** of September

Me: Really? *my* birthday is on the ** too!

At this point, the sweet old lady looks me up and down, then says in a low evil sounding voice...

You are NOT my friend!

:eek: freakky

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Specializes in I dream of ICU...one day. ;-).

I had a patient once, post cardiac cath. Her sheath had just been pulled so she was still on bedrest. She had to use the bedpan so myself and my coworker were log rolling her onto the pan. As we were doing so, she was telling us about how hard it is for her to have a bowel movement, "On account of those pain pills I take." She then procedes to tell us that she often manually helps her bowel movements along. My coworker says, "Oh, well...you should be careful. The tissues down there can be very fragile and easily torn." Our patient cheerfully relpies, "Oh, it's okay. I just take a tub of butter and lube up my finger." My coworker face was priceless.

I hope she designates that tub of butter for one reason and one reason only. :lol2:

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Specializes in Dermatology, Pain Management, LTC.

im a derm nurse..

patient on the phone: hi, my name is ___ and i just had an autopsy done and i just wanted to know what the results were?

..she meant biopsy. :smackingf

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