LOL moments at work

GHGoonette, BSN, RN · Dec 23, 2010

im a derm nurse..
patient on the phone: hi, my name is ___ and i just had an autopsy done and i just wanted to know what the results were?
..she meant biopsy. :smackingf

if she hadn't meant biopsy, you'd have been posting this under "ghost stories".

Good one :up:

sevensonnets · Dec 25, 2010

Had a patient once who for some reason kept asking me if I'm from New Orleans. I can't imagine how anybody could mistake my flat midwestern Hoosier accent for a Cajun accent but he kept asking me every day. One day his son came to visit and Mr. D tried to introduce me. "This is my friend Paula. She works at the airport in New Orleans." The son says, "No, Dad, YOU work at the airport in New Orleans."

Guest717236 · Dec 25, 2010

In our Pedi practice, if a child had ? of chicken pox we had

a separate room that the parent would go to the back of

the building and enter with the patient directly into the room.

This would enable us to isolate the patient from the rest of the

office.

We had one little guy enter the room with his Mom and announce,

"I have the Chicken POPS."

We all loved that diagnosis and he got an extra sticker ! :idea:

October97 · Dec 25, 2010

Working nights on Pediatrics and this one night we got an insane 9 admissions. We were all running around like crazy so when things finally calmed down around 0530 we decided to play a joke on our charge nurse. One of the nurse's got into a bed on a hall where we had no patients, turned on the IV pump, hooked up the cardiac monitor. Another nurse told the charge nurse that when she went to that room to get a pillow there was someone in the bed. I thought our charge nurse was going to have a heart attack. She ran over to the room and all we heard up at the desk was "I'm going to kill you!" It was just what we all needed to not take our crazy night too seriously and everyone got a good laugh, even the charge nurse, after she recovered.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Dec 26, 2010

i walked into my patient's room, introduced myself by saying, "hi, i'm ruby and i'm going to be your nurse today," and the patient replied. "you're ugly."

"now, now, milton," said his wife sitting in the chair next to the bed. "what do you say to the nurse?"

"you're fat and ugly," was the reply.

the next day, i had the same patient. i walked into the room and introduced myself, and he said "ruby.." over the next three hours, he said "ruby" every time i walked away from the bed. when asked what he needed, he said "i just like saying your name because it bugs you."

the next day i told him my name was ruby. "you again? get me a young, good looking nurse." i told him to take it up with gertrude (the name of the nurse manager). he yelled for gertrude all day long!

sometimes you just gotta laugh!

sevensonnets · Dec 27, 2010

We had this confused patient who was forever hollering "Water! Water please!" You'd give him a drink and didn't get to the door before you'd hear "Water!" One of the RN's was a little mischievous at times (well, mischievous most of the time) so she says, "I'll take care of this." Goes into his room and shuts the door. Comes out a few minutes later and for a while no hollering. Then we hear "Diet Coke! Diet Coke please!"

sevensonnets · Dec 28, 2010

Years ago I was taking care of an old fellow who had complications after a total knee and ended up in ICU. He told me he had trouble sleeping the night before because the nurses were so loud. He thought they'd been having a party. I knew this was true. It was somebody's birthday and they'd ordered a pizza. He said, "I started once to get up and leave." I said, "You wouldn't have got too far." Whereupon he looked me in the eye and said "Lady, I had my horse."

sevensonnets · Dec 29, 2010

Forgot something else about the same old gentleman. He would scream at the top of his lungs, PAULA!!! I'd go running into the room to see what was the matter and he'd say "Get out of here. I don't want you!" After a couple of hours of this I discovered his wife's name was Paula too!

sharpeimom · Dec 29, 2010

pt.: i'm still at ___ state mental hospital, right?

me: yes ___, you still are. you live in the ____ building on the second floor.

pt.: thank you nurse.

me: you're welcome___. can you find your way back?

pt.: btw, i used to have papers proving i was sane. do you have them proving you were sane?

sevensonnets · Dec 29, 2010

You know how they tell you in nursing school never to assume? Well, one day I made the fatal mistake. I was working ortho and had 6 patients for total care. The objective of orthopedics is to get them fed, bathed, dressed and medicated before PT shows up. This lady had been hanging out in my male patient's room every day so I decided to put her to work. Some wives prefer to bathe their husbands instead of the nurse, right? So I set up the bath and asked her if she'd help him. She said Sure. Came back later and she had done it and left. The patient said "I'm a little embarrassed. I never had my sister give me a bath before."

sevensonnets · Feb 6, 2011

My friend works in the hospital's inpatient dialysis unit. She arrived in a hurry one morning and put her lunch and her purse on the counter. She had set up the first patient and was busy with the second one when she heard the first guy say, "Excuse me maam, can I have a cup of coffee with this?" He was eating her lunch!!!

rkitty198, BSN, RN · Feb 7, 2011

I had been caring for this elderly man who I thought was oriented and with it.

I wanted to get him up to walk and he said he was having a visitor and asked if I could come back- I agreed to come back. I also needed to remove his Foley- which I discussed with him I would be back in an hour to remove it and walk, he agreed.

Well it was 2 hours before I got back to him because I had a patient emergency.

I went in his room and he said "Oh I am so glad you are here today as my nurse!" "the other nurse I had today promised me to go for a walk and was going to take out this damn catheter and she never came back!" "I am sorry she left her dirty work for you to do!"

Well I played it off and said "well I am sorry that happened, lets take out that catheter!"

I took the catheter out and noticed that his member was a little swollen. He said "oh that is just my implant, I can go up to 8 inches!"

It was such a funny day!