LOL moments at work

KayDee68 · Feb 19, 2011

Funny? I don't know, more like "amazing what people say" type of thing...

I was a manager for a hospice team. Our team serviced an area of town with a lot of middle aged, hispanic males, with end-stage liver disease - normally alcohol related. One day I received a call from a step-daughter of a non-ambulatory patient who had been actively drinking by pouring vodka down his PEG tube. Evidently even though he could only get around in his wheelchair, he was still abusive to his wife (her mother). She asks me, "Will I get in trouble if I just push him out into the yard in his wheelchair and lock the door?" :eek:

Needless to say, there are deep-rooted family dysfunctions that we aren't going to be able to fix at this point!! I did tell her that first, we are going to pretend she didn't tell me that. I advised her that if he was being abusive, she needed to call the police as this is out of my scope of practice. The social worker was immediately dispatched and APS called to assist in helping this family with alternate resources for care.

A really funny one was during nursing school when my colleague was trying to get blood from a fingerstick to do an accucheck. She was telling me her frustrations when she "couldn't get any blood out of that little prick"! We just about lost it!!

Bellasmommy · Feb 19, 2011

I'm new here, but I'll share anyways. :)

I worked as a CNA at a nursing home/psych facility.

One night after I started, maybe about a week into it, a call light came on so I asked her if she was okay and what she needed? (Mind you, it was about 2 am.) She replied, "Um, yes. I'm starving and the Sanyo won't quit talking. Could you call Red Lobster and order everyone food? Tell them I sent you. I own them and Captain D's" Lol.

Another was when two elderly women got into an argument because one kept getting mad at the other for riding by her in her wheelchair. They ended up in a brawl. About two nights after that I was working the night shift and saw the little old lady walking down the hallway, wearing one shoe, no pants, and covered in feces. I took her to her room to clean her up, change her clothes and her bed for her. The whole time I was in there she was saying "Yeah, I got into a fight the other night. It wasn't my fault. She was HUGE and kept calling me names. I prayed to Jesus about it. And my daughter better bring me food."

*She was the one who started the fight, and the lady in the wheelchair weighed all of 100 lbs.

LUV ALZ · Feb 19, 2011

My favorite one. Elderly Alz pt. c/o lower abdominal pain, hunched and guarding. Notified in report that there has been no urine output in 12 hrs. (WHAT! and you haven't done anything about this!) I call doc get order to straight cath. Take resident to his room, undress him from the waist down and lay him on the bed. Go get the needed supplies and snag other nurse to help me cuz he might fight. We go into the room and proceed to straight cath him and get exactly 2 mls of urine. Try drawing back a little and nothing. Figure ok he's going to the e.r. cuz something isn't right. Clean resident up dress him. He then states "Boy, I'm sure glad I went pee before you did that" Run to bathroom and sure enough there is about 1000mls of urine sitting in the hat (we were also trying to get a ua on him.

Jenni811, RN · Feb 23, 2011

CUTEST elderly couple. 87 year old patient today, getting propofol weaned off. And im talking to him in his right ear "Wake up ____. Can you open your eyes for me____?

The wife says to me: "Oh he is deaf in that ear. We forgot to mention that."

i move to left ear, i still get no response from the patient.

Wife says to me: "Well, atleast i think he is deaf in his right ear. Because i yell at him so much in the car. Oh you must think im awful for saying that. i mean i only yell at him when he is going to hit someone and he doesnt hear me because he keeps going."

i was laughing so hard inside. Tiniest little old lady, just a PEACH! and to hear her say that was so funny.

tencat · Feb 23, 2011

My pleasantly demented little old man called the police to come to his house to take his wife away because he was mad at her. While wife was telling the story I asked him if it was true. He very seriously replied, "Yes. And they didn't come. I don't know why."

Same guy was taking a nap in bed when I came to assess him. I woke him up and he flipped back the covers and moved over saying "Oh good! You're here to get in bed with me!" When I told him no, he looked really disappointed and said, "Oh. Are you sure?"

Jenni811, RN · Feb 23, 2011

Patient i had was diagnosed with lung cancer (BIG BIG smoker. no surprise there). She also clearly had alot of mental health problems. She was so uh....up and down in mood. When she wanted a cigarette, she would go off on rants and you would not believe the things she would call us. Stuff i've never heard!!!! This patient was just outrageous.. So her daughter calls me that day (who is my age at 22) and she is asking how her mom is doing not getting her cigarettes. i got permission to talk to her about it, so her daughter came in to "settle her mom down" i walk in to them FIGHTING. Literally full out fighting over cigarettes in her daughters purse (daughter smoked too).

I broke up the "fight" and asked the daughter to step outside.

Now the patient is even more on one of her rampages about cigarettes....she asks me to borrow a laptop. Patients can use them if needed. I gave her permission to use one hoping to ger her mind off the cigarettes. I come back about 20 minutes later and she is online booking a flight to INDIA!!!!!

yes....she is actually online trying to book a flight to India.

I try to remain calm at this point, asking why she is booking a flight to India. It's not like she has family she wants to see before she dies (It was cancer ALL over).

She looked at me and said....

"Well all your doctors are from India so clearly these dam* Indians know what they are doing. I'm going to India to buy myself some lungs and new doctors."

the rest of the day she was dead set on "buying herself some lungs in India"

sevensonnets · Feb 26, 2011

My diabetic patient was having a hypoglycemic episode. Brain not working quite right. She said to her husband, "I need some sugar," so he promptly leaned over and planted her with a great big kiss!!

starzrn · Feb 27, 2011

one time I had a pt who got confused at night and started walking the hall. I took him by the hand and said "let's go to bed" and he ran in and said "you get on top" LOL

lpn-ny · Feb 27, 2011

I work in a SNF, so i get alot of LOL comments from patients. Heres a couple off the top of my head.

While taking a BS on a 85yo male..."you'll squeeze my finger, but not my member, tease"

From a 102yo female (sharp as a tack still)...while removing sutures from her head.."oooh that hurts, lay on my lap so I can whallop your a**"

Having to chase a naked pt running around on the floor at 0400.

Female pt who likes to hold toy baby dolls also likes to suck on the toy pacifiers they come with.

I've learned to laugh at nursing other wise I'll cry. :rolleyes:

Jenni811, RN · Feb 27, 2011

As a student in nursing school, we hold "wellness clinics" for under-served in our community. we all take turns rotating through this clinic, 7 of us at a time. So its my turn at the wellness clinic. We do eductation, screenings, BP readings etc.

So i'm doing BP readings. and this guy i get a BP of 180/80 something. and he was like '"Dam* girl, check it on this arm" so i did...i checked it on his other arm, and i got 176/80. And i'm starting to talk to him about his BP and if he wanted a referral. But he isnt listening to me, he stands up on his chair, flexes his muscles and yells "I HAVE AN ATHLETIC HEART! you think 120/75 is good? i got 180/80!"

My instructor comes over and was like "How you going to handle this one?"

Oh boy.... :uhoh3: