Life from the other side (I left nursing.)

[LPNRN2000]

Good Morning All,

About three months ago, I wrote my first (and until now only) post on allnurses. I have been a loyal reader of the site for years. I was asking then some last minute opinions from the community here because I was leaving my employer of nearly two decades.

Some background: I completed an LPN program in high school, and after graduating at seventeen, I sat for my boards, passed, and had secured a position shortly after turning eighteen. I went back to school and obtained my RN later through a scholarship program with my employer whom I then worked for as an RN.

My job had everything that sounds great on paper: competitive pay, great benefits, and an ample time off package. I moved around to multiple areas and specialties. I would honestly say, based on performance evaluations, fellow staff comments, and written letters of thanks from patients and family members that I was a good nurse. Even in the moments where I felt that I needed to get out, I was never one to half a** it. The one thing about nursing I ALWAYS loved was helping people.

So why then you might ask would a "good" nurse who took her career seriously want to leave after investing nearly 20 years? It's a number of things..but I suppose the main factor is that nursing asks for SO much. I felt that in order to be a great nurse, I had to give everything I had and then go back and wring myself out for more. I did both inpatient and outpatient nursing, and this was the case.

Over the years, the drama, the back-biting, the gravitation to management with ample degrees and inadequate experience, the unsafe patient:staff ratios...it all just continued to pile. I felt that the feelings I had for nursing were akin to feelings you might have for an abusive ex. You think of the good times to try to get through the bad ones, you have a love affair with what it USED to be and what you hope it could still be. Add this to the fact that in healthcare these days, everybody with a web browser is now a much better expert in your field then you are.

And so..I left. I was professional and gave more then the expected notice. I left with my head held high and with a smile on my face for those I was leaving behind. Now I should disclose that prior to leaving I DID secure a VERY per diem position with wellness nursing just to keep my foot somewhat in the door should I immediately regret my decision to vacate nursing (and also to continue to earn hours for license renewal down the line.)

I'm happy. I've learned SO much about myself..things I never thought would be true. I'm a fabulous cook and homemaker without the fatigue and pressures of mandated overtime, unsupportive management, and chronic short-staffing. I'm wonderful at adjusting and creating a budget that allows my family to live on one salary. I am THAT mom who volunteers and loves it.

So for those who are considering leaving, I am writing this to say that it can work out. I know that sometimes we identify so much with our role as nurses that we're not sure if we'd even be any good at something else. Make sure you have an emergency fund! Make sure you do a budget to see if it's possible..and if it isn't NOW..work on saving so that it could be. If you don't want to be home then think about what else you could do and work on getting there.

[TruvyNurse]

I find this post bittersweet. I am very happy for you that you've found a refreshing outlook after leaving nursing. I'm sure you'll excel in whatever you do. However it sounds like the nursing field lost one hell of a nurse! I'm sorry that those very realistic and ever present negative factors led you to leaving. Best wishes! We hope you stick around AN!

[Davey Do]

Good for you, LPNRN2000. Being content with your position in life is something forever sought and not always gained.

As we learn of others decisions and lot in life, we often compare our own to them, as I did with yours.

You are one never to "half a** it," whereas doing something half-heartedly is a quarter heart too much for me. I'm not talking about the service I provide for my patients. I have high standards and adhere to them. But when it comes to all the redundant BS charting and such, I do not dot every i nor cross every t. I do the button-clicking thing to chart regularities and enter objectively specific notes for anomalies. It's my way of documenting important stuff one time and covering my behind, but not jumping through every hoop some anal bureaucrat believes I need to do. It helps me to lessen the stress.

The drama and back-biting in my job is a welcome challenge. Either administration, peers and coworkers dance with me or I step on their blue suede shoes.

Working as a nurse is a great balance. When I'm not TCB, I'm doing art. I need the real world as inspiration for my art, which is on the Top Five of importance in my life. Some day in the not-too-distant future I will probably stop working as a nurse and will miss my glory days. But hey- it's all in the cycle of life thing.

Thanks for sharing your story, LPNRN2000 and for allowing me to share mine.

Keep on keeping on, and the very best to you!

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

I like my job but I'm not one of those nurses who let what I do define me as a person. The back-biting etc used to bother me but honestly I just decided that was part of the gig and I learned to accept it & mostly ignore it. If I could support myself without nursing I'd quit in a minute. I have about 5 years till retirement and am very much looking forward to not having to work anymore. I won't miss it

[Oldmahubbard]

I would have quit nursing many times over the years if there had been any other reasonable way to make a living, which there was not. And I tried.

Thankfully, NP is no where near as bad.

[abbnurse]

I felt that the feelings I had for nursing were akin to feelings you might have for an abusive ex. You think of the good times to try to get through the bad ones, you have a love affair with what it USED to be and what you hope it could still be.

Wow....well said!

This really hit home for me. So many of us keep hoping things will get better; the short staffing,unrealistic workloads, abusive patients/family members, clueless management, etc.

I am so glad things have worked out so well for you, and best wishes for the future! :)

[llg, PhD, RN]

I am happy for you, LPNRN200. Really. It's great that you have a spouse that makes enough money so that you don't have to work much outside the home. Congratulations for being able to financially afford being a stay-at-home mom. Unfortunately, not all of us have that luxury. Some of us have to work outside the home to make money to live on.

[Guest757854]

I tip my hat to you OP, with much much respect!!! kudos!! and i wish you continued success in life!!!!

[xoemmylouox, ASN, RN]

I recently left my bedside nursing job for an admin position in a clinic. I was an LPN for over 8 years before I went back to school for my ADN. I secured a hospital job before I graduated and well before I passed NCLEX. I thought I had it made. HA! I HATE inpatient bedside nursing. My shifts were endless. I felt like I never had days off. My "days" off were spent in useless classes, residencies, and committees. Of course being a night shift worker no consideration was made on my behalf. I'd work the night before, get off around 0730 and have a 4 hour class around 1200 or 1300. Then sometimes I'd have to work that night too. I was too exhausted to function let alone give good care. Then you take into account the fact that they opened overflow units on closed floors with little to no supplies, poor staffing, and no charge nurses. Did I mention that often times I was the most senior nurse with my whopping 5+ of RN experience. It was the most stressful thing I have ever been through. I am so happy to be back in a clinic setting. My five 8-9 hour days beat the crap I dealt with daily at the hospital.

Kudos to the OP for finding their path to happiness. I am the sole income in my household (hubby stays at home with the kiddos) so I do have to work, but I too found my way out of hell.

[Sour Lemon]

Am I missing something ...because it sounds like you're still in nursing and just switched from full time to "very" per diem? I did the same thing a few years ago. It does feel great.