Last semester and terrified

Published

I'm in my fourth semester of a 2 (3 in all truth) year RN program.

It's creeping upon me the knowledge that in just a precious few weeks I will actually be a nurse, and like, be expected to be responsible and capable.

I am terrified, so much so that I actually find myself losing motivation to actually get through school. It's not that I don't want to be a nurse, it's more that my brain is telling me "what's the point, you're going to be terrible and you'll fail anyway". It's hard to be excited and motivated when you are convinced you will fail with all of your being.

It was easy to be excited and motivated the first, second years because the idea of practice was more of a theory, it was an IDEA. School is something I can do. I get great grades. If getting a good grade is the goal, I know I can.

But now the goal is shifting, and the goal is no longer to keep that GPA sufficient for transcripts and to continue education; now the goal is become a nurse, take care of patients and honestly I don't think I can do it.

I don't know what to do. I'm not sure how much of this is anxiety, or my true evaluation of my capacities.

In the back of my mind I've been soothing myself, letting myself know I don't HAVE to be a nurse; I can take that associates in science and apply it to a bachelors in another field. The worst thing that can happen is nursing isn't a good fit for me, the best thing that can happen is I like it. If my personality isn't cut out for the craziness of a hospital, I can try a clinic/outpatient center, and if THAT doesn't work, I can always do something else totally. If I do something else, I'll have wasted no time, as those 2 years will be half of my bachelors for another career.

Can anyone relate to these feelings? Most of my classmates are so excited to finish and get out of school but I'm hating it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg <1; Epic Certified <1.
I'm in my fourth semester of a 2 (3 in all truth) year RN program.

Can anyone relate to these feelings? Most of my classmates are so excited to finish and get out of school but I'm hating it.

LOL...when I saw the title of your post, I could SO relate!!

I am in the 3rd week of my 4th semester. I started the application process online for a position I am interested after I graduate. I wrote to 2 of my prior instructors to ask for permission to use them as references. In the closing of my e-mail, I asked each of them this same question. Is it normal to be so terrified?!?!

They both answered "Yes".

We had our second week of clinicals today. We got bumped up to 2 pts. By the end of our clinicals we "should" be up to 4 pts each. I can't even imagine. I am petrified, I feel unprepared, I don't know how I'm supposed to keep track of meds and compatibility and SEs and on and on and on. I've lost the comfort of day-before prep work and drug cards. I'm petrified I'm going to hurt somebody!! I honestly don't know how I'm going to do it all!!!

The only thing that keeps me sane is thinking, "If others have done this, then I can too".

But the little voice in the back of my mind keeps me wondering and terrified, lol!!!

Hang in there!! Somehow, we WILL make it!! Best wishes!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Ortho, Neuro, Detox, Tele.

I hear ya....In 13 weeks, I graduate....in 16-17 I take boards....before then, I'm supposed to have a job lined up? Like, a real job? One in which I'm supervising everyday, and being supervised? I don't know.....I keep telling myself that as long as I don't freak out, I'll be ok....

Well, I"M FREAKING OUT!!!!! LOL.

I think we're all terrified, and it's good practice to journal out those feelings so they don't come out with patients....It's hard to believe that the "new" nurses I work with have been nurses for 9 months already! it'll be ok.....we all start at the same level....

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I'm so glad you wrote this-I'm just about to begin my final set of placements (I'm in 3rd year at college in Scotland) and we qualify in September. Although I've done well in things so far like you, I am so scared at the thought of actually becoming a nurse!!I think it helps to think though, that everyone is constantly learning, and you never stop, and I'm sure we'll be o.k!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I finish in May. I was terrified until last week when our clinical instructor met with us after clinical and let us discuss how we were terrified about boards and getting our first real nursing job. I was so shocked that everyone else in my clinical group was terrrifed.

We had the policy of what is said in this room stays in this room, so no one would be worried about what they said getting out to other students in our class. Basically our instrustor told us, "Take it one day at a time. There are review classes for boards at the school that will be done closer to graduation. When you do hit the floor on the job you will be on orientation. You can always find someone to help with your questions whether it is the charge nurse, or just a seasoned nurse." If you are worried about references in getting the job, use your recent clinical instructors.

So I am basically taking it one day at the time and enjoying my last semester of my BSN.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I could have written almost your entire post. I finish in May and between not liking my current clinical rotation at ALL, and worrying about finding a job, and not losing that job for complete and absolute incompetence, and passing the freaking NCLEX, I am in a near panic mode a lot of the time. I commented in another thread that even though this semester is "easier" I feel so stressed, and I really think that it's because not only do we seniors have homework and class and all that to worry about, we're almost done being taught and we actually have to DO this now. It is very scary.

The nurses I've worked with in clinical, when asked, all say they felt "okay" within a couple months, but that it took about a year to feel "good" about nursing. And they all reminded me that we don't get the title of RN and that's it, teaching is over, sink or swim because you are completely on your own. That's really not how it works. We'll all be okay.

(and honestly, none of that inspirational paragraph I just wrote makes me feel any better, either. You're really not alone).

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in med/surg.

omg!! you all sound like me, my last semester... i was in a constant state of panic & was sure something horribly wrong was going to occur & i wouldn't be able to just get thru. handling more patients & not have prep was a little hard to stomach. my hint is to watch your instructor & the other nurses at your clinical site, one of them has got to have a method or several pieces of different nurses organization techniques will help you get organized.

everything you've learned already has prepared you for this, you can do it.

i just graduated in dec. i started my new job 2 wks ago, but i've only actually been on the floor 2 days now. so far so good. i have a really great preceptor. she gave me 1 pt the 1st night & 2 the 2nd, but she's always there for questions and anything i'm uncertain of. i will work with my preceptor for 5wks and then it's up to me to decide if i need more time or if i feel i'm ready to tackle it on my own.

i take nclex next week, very nervous, but it's just another test, right? i'll let you know how i do.

i know the fear of closing in to the end, you'll do it, you'll find a job...just find out how they train, not all places are the same.

good luck!! don't freak out, it'll all work out.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Unfortunately, I cannot relate to that. But, I can understand it. Its always scary to go into something new. A new path is always scary. I would be worried if you weren't nervous in your new path. That is would be the concern. What you are going through is part of growing. You know what they say.... you can't have courage without fear.. they go together. Hold your chin up, finish, and go help some people with the talent GOD has given you. Tell yourself, what you are feeling is okay and their are others like yourself. Go forward and make us all proud. GOD BLESS. Good Luck.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg, Tele, IM, OB/GYN, neuro, GI.

I feel the same way. I graduate on March 6th and I still don't feel like I have any idea what I'm doing. I get asked the most obvious questions with the easiest possible answer and I always answer them with that hint of doubt. Clinical instructor says that I'm doing fine and that I need to believe in myself. I believe in myself but at the same time I always feel that what I'm looking at is NOT the most important thing going on. So how am I going to do this on my own. I know that if I can't figure something out or need hep with something I can go to my instructor and she'll coach me in the right direction but she's not going to be around much longer or should I say I'm not.

I kind of miss class and all the test we had to take.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in med/surg, telemetry, IV therapy, mgmt.

Just about everyone who graduates from nursing school feels this way. I know I did and so did my classmates and that was 32 years ago. As a manager I would think long and hard about hiring a new grad who sat across from me in an interview proposing that they were confident and ready to be the supernurse of my unit. The fact is that during your first or possibly even your second year as a new grad you will still be learning a lot. It's expected. What do you do? You keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward. You learn from any mistakes you make or see others make and pray you don't make any huge mistakes yourself. You try to remember what you learned in nursing school and what you don't remember you go back to your notes and textbooks to refresh your memory. I did it that way and I hope others did it that way too. Your turn is coming. You'll survive because you're a nurse. Didn't anyone ever tell you that we can handle any crisis? That's what we do, including the ones we get ourselves into! We are problem solvers. That is what all the care plan baloney is about - learning to problem solve.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Telemetry, CCU.

I've read a few different places on these forums that a healthy dose of fear is good to keep us on our toes, and that comfort can lead to sloppy care. I just graduated in December and was actually a lot more scared BEFORE I graduated than I am now. I am starting to accept the fact that my first year in nursing will be hard, but I am hoping that my fellow nurses and manager are supportive of me and the other new grads. No one can be an expert in their field when they graduate; nursing school is such a broad overview of so many specialties that it is only expected that a new grad will be learning a lot in their first job. Nursing is a life-long learning profession and I am excited to embark on the journey!!

Those of you that are doubting your abilities, just don't. It is normal to feel that way, but try not to think negatively about yourself in a harsh way. We should all learn from our mistakes and take constructive criticism, but don't devalue yourself as a person or as a nurse :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thanks everyone, I actually do feel a little better .

There is a continuum of confidence and nervousness... and I'm waaay over on the extreme end. I remember the first day of nursing school, I actually had to talk myself out of quitting.

I was freaking OUT, way more than expected. I was so frustrated that I was so terrible at everthing, knew nothing, it was almost like humiliation going out there all useless like.

For the first semester I spent most of my nights crying (or wishing I could muster a cry, to allow sleep).

But I've adapted reasonably well to nursing school, I think.

I guess I just have to accept I'm going to be doing that emotional-constipation-crying-at-night thing again. And, eventually, I'll adapt.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion