I'm in my fourth semester of a 2 (3 in all truth) year RN program.
It's creeping upon me the knowledge that in just a precious few weeks I will actually be a nurse, and like, be expected to be responsible and capable.
I am terrified, so much so that I actually find myself losing motivation to actually get through school. It's not that I don't want to be a nurse, it's more that my brain is telling me "what's the point, you're going to be terrible and you'll fail anyway". It's hard to be excited and motivated when you are convinced you will fail with all of your being.
It was easy to be excited and motivated the first, second years because the idea of practice was more of a theory, it was an IDEA. School is something I can do. I get great grades. If getting a good grade is the goal, I know I can.
But now the goal is shifting, and the goal is no longer to keep that GPA sufficient for transcripts and to continue education; now the goal is become a nurse, take care of patients and honestly I don't think I can do it.
I don't know what to do. I'm not sure how much of this is anxiety, or my true evaluation of my capacities.
In the back of my mind I've been soothing myself, letting myself know I don't HAVE to be a nurse; I can take that associates in science and apply it to a bachelors in another field. The worst thing that can happen is nursing isn't a good fit for me, the best thing that can happen is I like it. If my personality isn't cut out for the craziness of a hospital, I can try a clinic/outpatient center, and if THAT doesn't work, I can always do something else totally. If I do something else, I'll have wasted no time, as those 2 years will be half of my bachelors for another career.
Can anyone relate to these feelings? Most of my classmates are so excited to finish and get out of school but I'm hating it.
Just about everyone who graduates from nursing school feels this way. I know I did and so did my classmates and that was 32 years ago. As a manager I would think long and hard about hiring a new grad who sat across from me in an interview proposing that they were confident and ready to be the supernurse of my unit. The fact is that during your first or possibly even your second year as a new grad you will still be learning a lot. It's expected. What do you do? You keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward. You learn from any mistakes you make or see others make and pray you don't make any huge mistakes yourself. You try to remember what you learned in nursing school and what you don't remember you go back to your notes and textbooks to refresh your memory. I did it that way and I hope others did it that way too. Your turn is coming. You'll survive because you're a nurse. Didn't anyone ever tell you that we can handle any crisis? That's what we do, including the ones we get ourselves into! We are problem solvers. That is what all the care plan baloney is about - learning to problem solve.
I totally loved your report sheet for new nurses! I am transitioning (after many years as a LVN) with many scared 2 year nursing students. We will graduate in May. i can see the deer in the headlight gaze during clinical rotations. I think they will appreciate the way you summed everything up!!
General E. Speaking, RN, RN
1 Article; 1,337 Posts
I totally loved your report sheet for new nurses! I am transitioning (after many years as a LVN) with many scared 2 year nursing students. We will graduate in May. i can see the deer in the headlight gaze during clinical rotations. I think they will appreciate the way you summed everything up!!