L&D nurse is calling formula poison!!!

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Specializes in HomeHealth / geriatrics.

Ok this post I know will open a whole big nasty can of worms but I need opinions and the truth . So here it goes I gave birth to my beautiful daughter on 6/17/08 I decided to breast feed via pumping and bottling it for the baby , she was not able to latch and get enough out of my breasts. My mother happens to be a L&D nurse, and she is all for breastfeeding , formula she has said is poison and her hospital she says does not even carry or promote formula because they consider it to harmful to babys health they even give out handouts via the la leche league warning mothers of formula. Well unfornunately my milk has run dry, due to the fact I am going to school and unable to pump while at school so my milk was and still is diminshing. So I had to supplement the breastmilk with formula . Well I decided to not tell my mother about the change for obvious reasons since she is so pro breastmilk etc. Well she babysits on Saturdays for me ( while I'm at school), she calls me up and says OMG I can't believe you are giving her formula shame on YOU!!!!! Then she hangs up and we do not talk for a good 3 days. She has told me I am a horrible mother and I am feeding my baby poison, and that my baby will not be smart as she could have been if she remained on breastmilk. So why is everybody so touchy about breastmilk and formula, I think nurses should educate mothers on options not forcing there personal preferences on the patients or the general public it is ultimately the mothers decision which should be respected. FYI I am a pre nursing student and have been watching for any signs of what my mom has called poison aka formula , my baby is doing FINE on formula :yeah:

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Specializes in Emergency, LTC, Med/Surg.

Formula is not poison. You mother is wrong in telling you that feeding your baby formula will hurt her. Not every L&D nurse is like your mother. I hope that you are able to find a happy medium with her.

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Specializes in L&D.

BRAVO to you for breastfeeding your son for as long as you have--way to go!!! :yeah:I'm so sorry that your mother is treating you this way. How awful and painful. Yes, breastmilk is far superior to any formula out there, but formula is not poison.

On the intelligence subject...my son had breastmilk until he sprouted teeth and wouldn't stop biting me at 4 months old. He received formula after that. That boy is TOO smart for my own good now. I have zero concerns about his intellectual capacity. You are conerned about feeding your baby, which is the right frame of mind. I have been teaching mothers how to breastfeed for the last two years, and although the majority of moms that I teach do it, there are some that do not, and I tell them that it is okay! She is the mom and can make whatever choice she wants for her baby.

There are a lot of reasons a mom may not breastfeed--her anatomical challenges, baby's anatomical challenges, past history of sexual abuse, cultural beliefs...there are many. I do not downgrade moms that do not breastfeed. I applaud them for feeding their babies whichever way they choose. I do caution them on the possibility of development of excessive weight gain, ear infections, and food allergies, but formula is by no means poison.

Your mother is simply going to have to realize that she may be creating a rift by overstating her opinion. It is not okay for her to do this to you.

You keep on working hard in school and at mommyhood. Sounds to me like you're doing a great job at both! :up:

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I'm so sorry that you are going through this conflict.

Contrary to some well-meaning people's beliefs, formula is NOT poison. I'm of the biggest BF advocates you may ever see, but what happens when mom's milk does not come in to begin with? What if mom got pregnant after say, a double mastectomy? What are you gonna do? Starve your child? Of course not. You feed your baby whatever means possible.

I was so disappointed after what seemed like moving the sun and moon to get my milk to come in, all to no avail. I really wanted to BF my baby, but couldn't. I gave her what I could and had to stop because well, I was driving myself crazy trying to do what nature obviously would not do.

Needless to say, she is a happy and healthy nearly 10 month old baby and thriving on formula.

Don't beat yourself up over it.

I'm just curious what your mom would say to situations in which BF'ing is not possible. I hope she wouldn't starve a baby for her beliefs.

BTW, breastmilk is best and blah blah blah, but as I said, there are some situations in which it's not possible.

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Specializes in Medical and general practice now LTC.

Formula is not poison but what does your mother expect you to do if you are not producing enough milk, starve the child. We all acknowledge breast is best but there are times when it isn't

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Specializes in Staff nurse.

I am so sorry for the trauma you are going thru, AND IT IS A TRAUMA! Having your personal space of how you parent by a close family member who is accusing you of poisoning your baby is very traumatic.

I am not an advocate of assuming everyone should bottle feed As the american way but you know what? Scientists have been working for years to come up with something when babies can't or won't breastfeed. Your mom should should support you with whatever decision you OR your baby makes. Since you don't have her support, please know you have ours...and your pediatrician's...etc.

I hope that came out okay, I am tired. Hugs to you and your precious little one.

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Specializes in Med/Surge, Psych, LTC, Home Health.

I only breastfed either of my babies for a couple of months. My daughter, as a newborn, just would not latch on and lost too much weight the first four days, plus she cried and cried because she was HUNGRY, so I had to give her formula. She finally got the hang of latching, but by that time my milk was dwindling. By two months we were totally on the formula.

My son, I REALLY wanted to breastfeed for at least a year. He latched on just fine, but he would STAY ON ALL DAY and cry when he was off. I had cracked bleeding nipples. I had to go back to work and tried pumping and just couldn't get enough out. I finally just went to formula. It was a painful decision.

They both seem to be turning out just fine, as far as brains/smarts go. =)

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It is attitudes like that nurse that put me off the whole OB-GYN field. Too many issues become political.

Imagine me kicking up a fuss at work about the cans of tube feed our ICU patients get. If formula is poison, and tube feed is formula, our patients seem to do fine.

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Specializes in Rural Nursing = Med/Surg, ER, OB, ICU.

As nurses it is our job to give parents the information they need to make informed decisions. I had my children in the dark ages when breastfeeding was not very popular. I gave all 4 of them formula and they are all in their twenties now and quite intelligent. 3 of them have Masters degree's and the last one is working on his. As I said before it is our job to present the facts. And yes breastfeeding is a healthy way to feed a baby. We should never push the parents in one way or another, regardless. We should support them however they decide to feed their infants. Just know that whatever you do for your child will be just fine.You are the mother and the decision is yours. Your mother will just have to get over it....

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Specializes in OB, House Sup, ER, Med Surg.

I am a Certified Breastfeeding Educator, working on becoming an IBCLC. I am very PRO-breastfeeding. However, having breastfeed 2 of my 3 children, I can tell you that I see no difference now that they are older in intelligence or health.

My oldest, who was exclusively formula-fed, did have many more problems as an infant with reflux, ear infections, etc..., which led in part to my decision to breastfeed the others.

Many children do fine and thrive on formula. My job as an OB nurse is never to make moms feel guilty for the method they choose to feed their babies. When I took my BFE course, we were taught that the number one priority is to 'FEED THE BABY'. Whether that occurs at the breast, with pumped breastmilk, with formula, per bottle, per finger or cup feed, etc... depends on each situation.

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Personally, I think every mother should at least try breastfeeding. I had one nuse who was not very encouraging about trying different positions but I did keep up with it. But only for 6 months til he got teeth and bit..and I still got cross looks from people! Unbelievably rude.

THAT SAID, it doesn't work for everyone. And that is fine. You need to do what is right for you and your baby and IGNORE everyone else. Say "thanks for your advice" and do what ever you planned to do anyway.

There is enough "mother guilt" to go around so don't worry yourself. What is your mom thinking--as if starving your child would be better???

You are doing a great job--as a mom and student.

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Specializes in ER.

I am a mother of two and I found myself in the same shoes you are in after my son was born. He could not latch well and I ended up feeding him bottled breast milk for a year. The midwife said I was lucky that I had a decent supply such that I didn't "dry up" if you will.

My daughter was breastfed until she was 18 months. I am a big big big fan of breastfeeding. I do believe that lots of folks come with this sort of predisposed "I can't" attitude or an "I don't want to" attitude about breastfeeding. Its unacceptable. Its the best food for the baby. I am NOT a big fan of formula feeding and I have got a list of reasons that are not relevant here.

Luckily, you are in the fortunate position of having the high ground here. It sounds like you worked your tail off to give this baby the most organic food available. It didn't work. Bummer. Your mother, on the other hand, seems to think she has some sort of moral high ground but is completely in the wrong. Hanging up on someone is not grown up and not okay. :angryfire Indicting your own daughter as a "horrible mother" is emotionally harmful to you and to her.

As a mother, one of the first things we learn is how our ideals of motherhood rarely fit our realities. Here, your plans to breastfeed your child did not come to fruition and your mother's mental image of happily breastfeeding mother (daughter) and child (grandchild) have vanished. This is one of the first lessons we learn of motherhood. I am sorry that your mother hasn't quite gotten this lesson yet. I am sorry that you are struggling with her issues.

The most important thing is that you have made peace with the decision to formula feed the baby. The most important thing is that you and the baby are emotionally and physically healthy. As a mother, we sacrifice a lot of our ideals for the reality that comes with a total picture of health and well-being.

Now, I know you are not asking but: a mother needs the confidence to advocate for herself as a mother and her child when necessary. Next time you see her, ask your mother to apologize for her behavior because you know what? You deserve an apology!

Congratulations to you and your partner on the birth of your child.

Victoria

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