Kid Question...

L&D4ME · Nov 22, 2005

Does she take a nap during the day? If so, it may be time to 1.) not let her have one or 2.) to make sure she doesn't sleep for more than 30 minutes.

My daughter is 2 years old and she is getting to the point where she tells us she is tired and she will take us to the room, but she wants us to lay with her until she is asleep.(about 15 or 20 minutes.) We don't mind though, we know she won't be this small forever.

Good luck

Lisa CCU RN, RN · Nov 22, 2005

Well, my children are the same way. They won't sleep unless they are in my bed together. They NEVER stay in their beds and even when I say over and over again "Go to sleep in your own bed", they STILL get up in the middle of the night and sleep with me. So I quit fighting it and they sleep with me now. If I want them out so I can watch tv in bed, I just pick them up and put them to bed. I just say it's not worth fighting them. Maybe your daughter would sleep in your bed better? You can always put her in her bed later. I guess that may be a problem if you are in there while she's in the bed. In that case, tell her she has to go to sleep or she goes back in her room. sorry I couldn't be more help, that's the best advice I have.

adamsmom · Nov 22, 2005

I let my 5 yr old fall asleep on the couch and carry her to bed. I do not even talk about bed time. She just lays down around 8pm and is fast asleep by 8:30.

FNPhopeful · Nov 22, 2005

Trust me I knooow I will miss the time when she wanted me there. But she has been this way from birth. Im talking about a baby who NEVER slept in a crib or basinett. She refused. She always cried till she was blue in the face and got into my bed.

Anyhoo Im glad to hear others have bedtime troubles as well. (not glad, but you know what I mean) It just seems like she's 4 and she should be a little more apt to do it.

My husband is really tired of her ending up in our bed, we have no private time at all and frankly he wants a break by 9pm (she's pretty hyper). She doesnt nap any more either, so that cant be taken away. She's just always been dependant on us at bed time. I figure I should stop fighting it, but sometimes I feel like hey who's in charge here? (the 4 yr old? LOL)

(Plus I need a few hours to study....)

allnurses Guide · Nov 22, 2005

I had to cut back on the later afternoon nap and the length of the nap.

We always have a bedtime ritual. Nice warm bath. Cuddle with mom and/or Dad. Read 4 books. Settle down to sleep in mom and dad's bed . . . . . . yep, we are a co-sleeper family.

We have a rule against TV in the bedrooms so I just get up after he goes to sleep (which is quick) and go on with my evening, whether that is TV, bill paying, cleaning, reading a book, whatever.

steph

EDITED TO ADD: My son is 4 years old too.

Fun2, BSN, RN · Nov 22, 2005

After the book was read and prayers were said, a movie was put in.

She (my now 8 yr old) was sleeping before the movie was even half-way finished.

:)

If she had a hard time, we'd let her go to sleep on the couch, and then carry her to her room.

Kiddos are so afraid they are going to miss something, and as much energy as they have, it's hard for them want to end the day. :)

allnurses Guide · Nov 22, 2005

I just can't let my kids fall asleep to the tv or a movie . . . my brother slept on the couch until he was 18 and moved out. He could not go to sleep w/o the tv on. Drove me crazy. It was a bad habit he still has and it doesn't make his wife very happy. :rolleyes:

My other kids slept well in their beds by this time but there were alot of kids upstairs then. :) My son is afraid in his room upstairs - this is a very old house with lots of noises and he gets very scared. I have put him in his own bed after he falls asleep in ours and he comes running down the stairs when he wakes up, crying.

My older kids think his bedroom should be moved down here . .. . that is a thought. :)

steph

stpauligirl · Nov 22, 2005

Ok , seriously- How do you get you kids to go to sleep at night?! My one year goes into her crib and lays down and goes to sleep..........
My 4 yr old fights it for hours, claims she has to be "cuddled" to sleep, which is sweet and nice yes. But she wont go to sleep any other way! She doesnt get that grownups and kids are NOT the same and have different bedtimes, that just because mommy and daddy are still up doesnt mean she has to be.
She balls and cries, wont stay in her bed and last night she even got up with her pillow and blankets and claims the couch is better.
I feel so bad for her, but her sister is in there with her, there is a night light, and I do read them a story first, but I cant lay with her an hour until she falls asleep.
Im just sooo frustrated, anyone have any advice????

Maybe this will help,

Tell her that it's 'grown up' time that mommy and daddy need time alone.

Establish a routine every evening at the same time, snack- brush teeth-put jammies on- story- 5 minute cuddle time with mommy- bathroom-bed....(use a timer for cuddle time. when it goes off she goes to bed. Give her consequence when she keeps coming out of bed, like privileges taken away.

Good luck. It's tough to have kids, isn't it?:)

Works well for us.

Achoo!, LPN · Nov 22, 2005

No TV or anything an hour before bed. A hot bath before bed. I also have a clock radio in my 7 year olds room and put it on " sleep". He listens to the mellow station to get to sleep and it shuts off in an hour.

It's hard to get them to wind down that's for sure.

fergus51 · Nov 22, 2005

Have you ever seen supernanny? I saw one with 2 kids like you described. I'm not a parent, but many of the girls I work with swear by this woman's advice. She basically established a bedtime routine (bath, book, whatever) then put the kids in bed and kissed them goodnight. The first time they got out of bed, the mother would say "No, it's time for you to stay in your bed" and put them back. After that, the mom would just put them back into bed, without any words or hugs or or eye contact or other rewards for the child's bad behavior. It took a lot of time, but the kids eventually went to sleep in their own beds and the parents got the parental bed back to themselves. The biggest barrier seemed to be the fact that the kids knew if they threw a fit, the mom would give in. Once she stopped giving in, the kids stopped throwing fits.

I've had to resort to similar things with kids I looked after. One girl in particular used to throw the biggest fits I have ever seen. You would have thought she was having an epileptic episode or was possessed. Eventually her body would lose the fight and she would fall asleep, but man it was crazy. I can't imagine doing that every night. Fortunately it got better as she got used to me over the years. My hats off to people who choose to have kids!!! You deserve a spa day or something;)

allnurses Guide · Nov 22, 2005

Have you ever seen supernanny? I saw one with 2 kids like you described. I'm not a parent, but many of the girls I work with swear by this woman's advice. She basically established a bedtime routine (bath, book, whatever) then put the kids in bed and kissed them goodnight. The first time they got out of bed, the mother would say "No, it's time for you to stay in your bed" and put them back. After that, the mom would just put them back into bed, without any words or hugs or or eye contact or other rewards for the child's bad behavior. It took a lot of time, but the kids eventually went to sleep in their own beds and the parents got the parental bed back to themselves. The biggest barrier seemed to be the fact that the kids knew if they threw a fit, the mom would give in. Once she stopped giving in, the kids stopped throwing fits.
I've had to resort to similar things with kids I looked after. One girl in particular used to throw the biggest fits I have ever seen. You would have thought she was having an epileptic episode or was possessed. Eventually her body would lose the fight and she would fall asleep, but man it was crazy. I can't imagine doing that every night. Fortunately it got better as she got used to me over the years. My hats off to people who choose to have kids!!! You deserve a spa day or something;)

Honestly, I think we do alot of it to ourselves. By not establishing a routine at bedtime and giving in to our kids wants.

My son does have a routine and it is very important to have some calming down time. That is why the warm bath with mom or dad sitting there playing and talking with him. Then bed with books - by the 4th book he is ready for sleep.

The thing for us is we chose to co-sleep and it works for us. One of us takes him to bed and reads to him and turns out the light and we say our prayers and he says "hold me" and we do and he is out quickly.

I think you could do the same thing if you didn't co-sleep and in fact I did with my older boys. They are 22 months apart and shared a room.

Routine, routine, routine . . . . .

I'll take that spa day by the way . . . . . . :)

steph