Just Lost! Advice please!

Nurses General Nursing

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I have posted on various occasions on this forum and have had some fantastic advice but would be very grateful if someone could point me in the right direction AGAIN 😊!.

I am a new graduate RN and recently started dialysis at a clinic and HATED it. I left after three days as I knew that they would waste time and money and it just was not for me!

I have an interview next week for a community hospital with a predominantly older people population. However the dodgy staffing agency that contacted me in the past have made contact with me again and tried to persuade me to work on med surg unit this weekend. They are offering triple the money of the hospitals and all other practice areas! Triple! I am so scared to go with the agency as I have no experience and actually turned down an offer already with that hospital due to non existent staff patient ratio! .

My dilemma is that my husband started screaming at me saying I'm lazy as I'm too scared to do agency but he said that I have to start somewhere and why start on a similar unit earning buttons when I will be paid so much more with agency.

The staffer said he has 6 new graduates working perfectly in that hospital and if they can do it, then why can't I?. I feel out of my depth and it would not be safe. He said I will work side by side with veteran nurses and just to try it!. I feel so bullied by him and hubby. I have 4 children and a mortgage to pay and my husband is so sick of all my toing and froing.

However, I feel that the community hospital if I get it is far safer even if I do start on a very low salary. I will get experience. Thanks so much if you've read my story. Please please advise me and thanks in advance!

So I should take the community hospital if I'm successful and do one or two days with agency?. Sunday night is 55euro per hour so about 60dollars per hour.

I'm not sure about combining the two but you need to learn how to practice as a nurse before taking a job that requires a nurse who is independent and prepared to hit the ground running in new environments.

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My dilemma is that my husband started screaming at me saying I'm lazy as I'm too scared to do agency but he said that I have to start somewhere and why start on a similar unit earning buttons when I will be paid so much more with agency.

Tell your husband that the only reason any person should be "screaming" at another human being is if he is saying "look out for that bus!"

You will become a better nurse with time and practice. But you need to give it a chance. I agree with others that something is fishy about an agency that will pay a new grad with no experience three times the normal salary. There is a very good reason they can't get experienced nurses on board.

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I'm not sure how it works is Ireland, but in the US it is not recommended for new RNs to work with staffing agencies. They maybe get a day of orientation and are then expected to function independently. Agency nurses are in the hospital to help the understaffed unit -- not the other way around. I've been an RN for 13 yrs and still get nervous thinking about working with no orientation!

As for your husband screaming at you...that is terrible. He needs to go through nursing school, and then try taking care of 8-12 pts by himself the moment he passes his licensing exam, see how scary that is, and then talk to you. And with four kids, he should be thanking you for any effort you are making to help support the family!!!

Now a piece of advice: going forward you really should find a new job before quitting your existing job. I get you didn't like outpatient dialysis, but it paid you a check.

I definitely will stick the next job I get! Many new graduates start with agencies here but it doesn't make it any safer! It's because the money is much better. As far as my husband, he worked night job security for three years and cared for the four kids as a single parent whilst I did my training far away so I was only home one or two days per week for three years. He is very frustrated with this anxiety issue I seem to be suffering now that I am finally qualified. Our family needs a salary so bad as he only has a part time job now. The agency would be a dream salary but I would risk a lot to do it. I'm going to get experience as a staff nurse first. Hubby will get over it. I need to protect the public and myself! I worked so hard and missed 3 years of my kids lives for a better life! Thanks all for your replies.í ½í¸Š

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I'm not sure how it works is Ireland, but in the US it is not recommended for new RNs to work with staffing agencies. They maybe get a day of orientation and are then expected to function independently. Agency nurses are in the hospital to help the understaffed unit -- not the other way around. I've been an RN for 13 yrs and still get nervous thinking about working with no orientation!

As for your husband screaming at you...that is terrible. He needs to go through nursing school, and then try taking care of 8-12 pts by himself the moment he passes his licensing exam, see how scary that is, and then talk to you. And with four kids, he should be thanking you for any effort you are making to help support the family!!!

Now a piece of advice: going forward you really should find a new job before quitting your existing job. I get you didn't like outpatient dialysis, but it paid you a check.

I definitely will stick the next job I get! Many new graduates start with agencies here but it doesn't make it any safer! It's because the money is much better. As far as my husband, he worked night job security for three years and cared for the four kids as a single parent whilst I did my training far away so I was only home one or two days per week for three years. He is very frustrated with this anxiety issue I seem to be suffering now that I am finally qualified. Our family needs a salary so bad as he only has a part time job now. The agency would be a dream salary but I would risk a lot to do it. I'm going to get experience as a staff nurse first. Hubby will get over it. I need to protect the public and myself! I worked so hard and missed 3 years of my kids lives for a better life! Thanks all for your replies.😊

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Specializes in nurseline,med surg, PD.

Your biggest problem here is your marriage. Get counseling. You do not deserve to be screamed at.

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Specializes in LTC, Rehab.

I would not attempt agency nursing at a hospital with no experience - and no training period at the hospital as well?!? That doesn't sound good at all to me, unless I'm missing something.

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Specializes in PACU, pre/postoperative, ortho.
Your biggest problem here is your marriage. Get counseling. You do not deserve to be screamed at.

Perhaps, but considering that her husband has been almost single handedly holding down the fort with 4 kids while OP was away at school, I think he deserves to get a little benefit of the doubt. More than likely, once OP is working, that situation will be improved and/or resolved. If not, then OP will need to address that separately.

Get your experience where you will be better supported as a new nurse. Then later down the road, you can look into trying agency when you have the experience & confidence to do so. If your husband tries to push you towards it because of $$, list all the reasons posted above that it would be a bad idea. It may very well end with you being quickly unemployed again due to the extreme stress you would likely be under, not to mention how that would translate to stress at home.

Good luck OP. Hope it works out for you.

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I definitely will stick the next job I get! Many new graduates start with agencies here but it doesn't make it any safer! It's because the money is much better. As far as my husband, he worked night job security for three years and cared for the four kids as a single parent whilst I did my training far away so I was only home one or two days per week for three years. He is very frustrated with this anxiety issue I seem to be suffering now that I am finally qualified. Our family needs a salary so bad as he only has a part time job now. The agency would be a dream salary but I would risk a lot to do it. I'm going to get experience as a staff nurse first. Hubby will get over it. I need to protect the public and myself! I worked so hard and missed 3 years of my kids lives for a better life! Thanks all for your replies.������

I give you credit for recognizing and acknowledging his contribution. The bolded part alone would have probably caused me a breakdown.

Then adding on my spouse quitting a job after 3 days without another lined up because it seemed a wasted of time and money would have caused a major meltdown.

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My take is that you've spent three years shelling out money for school, so one year taking any money in while you get your experience is a major bonus.

After that, you will be much more marketable and less likely to hurt anyone. That would be a good time to pick up shifts with agencies to see if you can handle it. If you can, then you can work two jobs and make tons of money without the stress of having no idea what you're doing.

Short term deprivation for long term abundance. Good trade-off, in my eyes at least.

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Thanks for all your replies. It's true that he is probably feeling let down by me!. I suffer from bad depression and he pushed me to finish my nursing degree. Every single minute away from my kids was agonizing but I got through it with many tantrums on his part.

He told me this afternoon that I was lazy and good for nothing and the family can't depend on me due to my lack of dependability.

However this whole fiasco regarding nursing jobs has made me not even want to do nursing at all but I love caring for people as its such a privilege.

Anyway, I have made my mind up to contact the staffer tonight to let him know that I'm not taking the job. I need to start at the beginning, breathe and get out of my depression. Sorry for the sob story!. I really appreciate all your advice. You guys are definitely an elite part of society. Thank you í ½í¸Š

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Thanks for all your replies. It's true that he is probably feeling let down by me!. I suffer from bad depression and he pushed me to finish my nursing degree. Every single minute away from my kids was agonizing but I got through it with many tantrums on his part.

He told me this afternoon that I was lazy and good for nothing and the family can't depend on me due to my lack of dependability.

However this whole fiasco regarding nursing jobs has made me not even want to do nursing at all but I love caring for people as its such a privilege.

Anyway, I have made my mind up to contact the staffer tonight to let him know that I'm not taking the job. I need to start at the beginning, breathe and get out of my depression. Sorry for the sob story!. I really appreciate all your advice. You guys are definitely an elite part of society. Thank you 😊

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I give you credit for recognizing and acknowledging his contribution. The bolded part alone would have probably caused me a breakdown.

Then adding on my spouse quitting a job after 3 days without another lined up because it seemed a wasted of time and money would have caused a major meltdown.

Libby, I didn't mean that it was a waste of my time and money. I just meant that it would be a waste of resources for the company if they trained me and I quit after six months. However, I should have lined something up first!

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