Just found out my partner's dad is a DNR

RNewbie · Jul 28, 2012

I don't think that it's unreasonable to ask. Since he lives with you two, that is something I would want to know and since it's such a serious topic I would want it in writing as well. Have your partner speak with sister about your concerns.

allnurses Guide · Jul 28, 2012

Does Dad want to be a DNR? Healthcare POA only kicks in if he is unable to make decisions.

Otherwise it is entirely appropriate for you to have copies of the advanced directives, otherwise EMS would be forced to do everything when called; rather than comfort measures.

Stephalump · Jul 28, 2012

Well, from what I understand, if your partner's father would actually like to be a DNR, you'd better have paperwork or he will be Red since EMS has to assume he's actually like to live unless otherwise specified.

Isn't that enough of a reason for the POA to give you what you need?

BlueDevil,DNP, DNP, RN · Jul 28, 2012

I'll dissent and say it's not your family and not your business. Butt out.

Altra, BSN, RN · Jul 28, 2012

Agree - unless a copy of the valid DNR document is present with your partner's dad ... all resuscitative efforts will be attempted. You really don't need to pursue this with the out-of-state POA - just tell him that he will need to have a copy of the document with him where he resides.

NurseOnAMotorcycle, ASN, RN · Jul 28, 2012

You want to follow his wishes. He's living with you. Get a copy so he isn't unnecessarily tortured if anything does happen.

allnurses Guide · Jul 28, 2012

It would be the responsible thing to have copies of all legal paperwork. Since there is a stated preference, honoring that preference is pretty important. I disagree with the above poster who says this is none of your business. You are part caretaker for this individual since they live in your house and I find it commendable that honoring their wishes is important to you.

So few people who come to our hospital are aware that having the paperwork is NOT enough, that it has to be supplied to the hospital with every admission. As you are aware, medical personnel have no way of knowing if it really exists or not if they have not seen it and no way of knowing whether it has changed since the last admission if it is not submitted each time.

ionatan · Jul 28, 2012

I'll dissent and say it's not your family and not your business. Butt out.

How is it none of my business? I'm a nurse and I live with him.

ionatan · Jul 28, 2012

It would be the responsible thing to have copies of all legal paperwork. Since there is a stated preference, honoring that preference is pretty important. I disagree with the above poster who says this is none of your business. You are part caretaker for this individual since they live in your house and I find it commendable that honoring their wishes is important to you.
So few people who come to our hospital are aware that having the paperwork is NOT enough, that it has to be supplied to the hospital with every admission. As you are aware, medical personnel have no way of knowing if it really exists or not if they have not seen it and no way of knowing whether it has changed since the last admission if it is not submitted each time.

I will definitely get the ball rolling on getting the advanced directives sent here. I do not want to be put in the position where I walk into the house to find him without a pulse, but if it does happen I do not want people questioning why I did not initiate CPR.

morte, LPN, LVN · Jul 28, 2012

First off, if he has not been judged incompetent, it is up to him if he is to be a DNR or not. So that convo needs to be had.

And yes, you need a copy of the POAs stand on this issue.

bjaeram · Jul 28, 2012

Why don't you just talk to dad about it? It's his decision not someone out of state.