Just had an emotional breakdown at work.

[unikuelady]

I just had an emotional breakdown at work. I couldn't stop crying, I yelled at co-workers who didn't deserve it, cried in front of several doctors and was barely able to care for my patients, I made a idiot of myself to my manager.....down....down....down until I realized that I needed to leave. I didn't see it comming....it just hit me all of a sudden. Yes there are alot of things going on in my personal life....last child left the nest...another pregnant...etc that I know we all have going on. Then at work we got started late with report, MD's wanting information NOW!, orders not put in from previous shift, drains backing-up in patients rooms.....supplies missing...etc. It was just too much. I ended up leaving early due to my request and insistance of my manager. My replacement arrived 30 min later. I was still crying..barely able to give report to her and finish my charting.

Now (several hours later and at home) I feel so ashamed, How can I face the people that I work with? I have been given several letters and awards of recognition during the last couple of months for being an excellent Nurse in my department. I feel like I have let everyone I work with down. And my patients down. I didn't cry in front of my patients or feel I compromised their care-but felt I could have if I had finished the shift.

Has this happened to any of you? How did you handle it when you went back to work? I've only been a Nurse for 5 years now and I feel so exhausted.

[jnette, ASN, EMT-I]

Sometimes the "too much" just has nowhere else to go but OUT !!!

So very sorry this happened, but please understand it in NO way affects your abilities. You are, as stated above, and always will be hte wonderful, skilled nurse that you are.

Take some more time for YOU... once it has been supressed for so long, it WILL find its way out ! Try to recognize little signs before it gets to that point and take some of Tweety's "mental health days" away from him, if you don't have any of your own !

Big, WARM hugs to you ! This, too, shall pass. :kiss

[cwazycwissyRN, RN]

unikuelady,

Hope you had a good day today and was kind to yourself. Yup I also have had a few melt downs. The last was was really a drag because when I looked back on it, I was throwing a temper tantrum like a little kid does. BIG TEMPER TAMTRUM. Life went on and I hope I learned to take better care of myself. Take it easy on yourself..:)

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

I've been a nurse for 5 year too. I was on the verge of what you described about 2 1/2 years ago. Working full-time 3 a.m. to 3 p.m. overwhelmed me. When you have to get up at 1:45 a.m. you have no life past 6 p.m. the night before you work. You have to rush around making sure everything is done and then try to go to bed and FALL ASLEEP at an hour that is completely not normal. I was working alot of overtime too. I had a hard time saying no. Well, I found myself pregnant at 43 and really had a melt-down . . . at home and at my in-laws at Christmas when we told them, etc. My kids were all teenagers and I was working crazy hours and I was going to have another child?

I continued to work the crazy hours until my BP started rising and my doc (bless her heart) took me off work. I slowly regained my strength and realized that nothing, NOTHING is worth killing yourself for . . nothing is worth sacrificing your family for.

My goal has been to stay home full time but for now I work part-time and it is wonderful. I don't feel like I have to arrange my life around my job. I'm not as tired all the time. I work one day or maybe two days in a row with a very occasional 3 day in a row - which reminds me of why I'm NOT working full time ever again.

Maybe you need to re-evalute your schedule. And do not feel guilty about saying no to those extra projects you took on. Do not let anyone at work make you feel bad. Look them in the eye and say "I'm more important than this job".

Good luck and take care of yourself.

steph

[live4today, RN]

((((((unikuelady)))))) :kiss

I have had plenty of times like that in my 16 years as a nurse, and even when I wasn't working in nursing. Many upsets in my personal life over the years have taken me on an emotional roller coaster. It is GOOD to release those emotions and sometimes cry until you can't cry again.

Nurses have bad days too. We're not immune from life or those emotional tidal waves that come our way....sometimes unexpectedly.

Be good to yourself, and perhaps consider taking a break from nursing for awhile to regroup, have some much needed down time, and get rejuvenated again.

I wish you nothing but the best in this process. :kiss

[kimmicoobug]

I too lost it at work one day. I am a new nurse of three months. Second day off of orientation, I was given the hardest group on the floor with blood to hang, two IV's infiltrating, having to call the MD for pain meds, another in restraints that should have been in ICU and then got sent back on day shift pulling at ALL of his drains and tubes. I got behind on meds, didn't finish my paperwork and left nearly two hours late. I just started crying at the end of my shift as I finished my charting. I was so ashamed.

[cannoli]

Nothing to be ashamed about. People that have been nurses for decades have been known to cry when overwhelmed and it has happened more than once to the same person. Crying is a stress reliever.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

EVeryone has a meltdown eventually. If someone says it hasn't happened to them they haven't been working long enough. I think that what matters is how you pick yourself up afterwards. If you can go in and say to your coworkers "thanks for your support, I really had a moment there" just keep going with dignity. The ones that don't get upset are the ones that don't care.

[MandyInMS]

Well said canoehead...no one is immune from human emotions.

[Liddle Noodnik]

Originally posted by MandyInMS

Well said canoehead...no one is immune from human emotions.

It struck me how seriously you seemed to be able to say, "Well said Canoehead ..." and all I can picture is, well, a canoehead! Made me laugh!

It's funny how we can say to others, "It's ok to cry", and really mean it. And then if it happens to us, we are so merciless to ourselves.

I consider tears to be liquid prayers. It is our way of saying what can't be said in words. VERY theraputic!

Boy, we put up with the most tremendous you know what for oh so long! Grin and bear it, grin some more, grin til our jaws ache. Then it's no wonder that there comes a day when our faces just crumble.

{{{{{{{{{{{{Nurse-type-people}}}}}}}}} We ARE awesome. Let's treat ourselves that way!

[passing thru]

I think meltdowns and losing it are two different issues.

If I were out of control, was unable to get myself back in

control, I would be on the phone with a visit to my m.d. and maybe looking at a referral to a dr. who specializes in emotional issues.

Will 4 days off "fix it?"

Will it repeat in a month or two or three?

I think I'd want a professional assessment.

It seems to me that what the OP is describing is a serious

emotional situation.

Good replies here..great advice.

I wouldn't be too quick to strike it up to the extra projects.....

coping or not....?

Good luck.....

[beaglemom]

I think you are being too hard on yourself. Nursing is the most stressful job I have every had, but what makes us nurses is our compassion and humanity, and I feel if you just take some time off and regroup, in a while you'll know when its getting to be too much. We have to put ourself first sometime, in order to be the best nurses we can be. Take care.

[mother/babyRN, RN]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}..It has happened to most of us one time or another....There are mitigating circumstances and maybe , if you are able, a bit of a leave is warranted just to deal with it all..We are expected to hold it all together at home and at work...If your manager is smart she or he will understand that in your case, something is up and the stress is just too much...Your co workers will understand...Just hang in there...Take time for yourself.....