judgemental nurses/students

athena55, BSN, RN · May 24, 2009

k_r_ah:

Yeah, it can blow when you meet people who don't share the same feelings, ideas, sensitivities as you do. When I went to nursing school, the mantra was to be "judgmentally non-judgmental"

And living in North America you kind of "allow" for people to say basically anything they want - within reason; to lean to the left or all the way to the right, if they so desire and to be able to change their minds, thoughts, slogans, ideas....

You state you are "just a student" but now is when you can start to be that "change agent" you hear so much about. Be the kind of nurse that advocates for your patients. Be the kind of nurse that builds those cultural bridges. Be the kind of person who doesn't laugh at racist, biased "jokes". Be the kind of person who actively stands up for what you believe in, and know that there will be others who don't agree with your point of view.

You ask, "Who are we to judge people..." and I would respond, "Human". With all our strengths and weaknesses.

Vito Andolini · May 24, 2009

Being a student is not a problem. Everyone is entitled to an opinion.

I think the problem is that so many people on welfare have not fallen on hard times, they were born into families already on welfare and this has been the way the family has lived for several generations. I was on welfare briefly, due to medical conditions. Or people lose their jobs and need a helping hand, for a relatively short time.

But it's the family who for generations has been on welfare that troubles me. I think that I should get to decide how they live since I have to pay for them. That means no more babies, job training, rehab for drugs and alcohol if these are an issue, and lots of other requirements to bring this family off of welfare. They need to become self-supporting.

Why should I have to keep supporting them? No one is supporting me. I do not like being taxed so that my earnings can be given to someone in the form of the Earned Income Credit on the federal tax return, for example. I think it's good that kids get medical care but why must I pay for it for babies whose families can't support them yet they keep having more babies?

If none of this bothers you now, come back in a few years, maybe a couple of decades, and see how you feel about it then. If we can help someone get back on their feet, great. but to just take care of them, year after year, decade after decade, for successive generations, that gets mighty old.

A woman recently told me that her daughter's husband is on disability but is not really disabled. You bet I reported it. And they will get checked out by the authorities who come around with their hidden cameras. That is welfare fraud and it must stop. I don't mind helping someone who is truly disabled but I mind very much being ripped off by cheats. She says he needs the money. Fine. Go back to work. I often work when I 'm sick or in pain, I rarely call off. He can just do the same. He might need job training so he can do another type of work. Fine. GEt it and get back to work.

you will find that a lot of nurses had a very long row to hoe to become nurses. They worked full time, went to school full time, and raised children during all of it. Why, in God's name, should they have to support people who aren't willing to do that so they can better themselves? Nobody carried us, how long should we carry cheats?

Race has nothing to do with it, religion, etc. It's just a simple fact of life that we all have to work. it's magnanimous of you to want to help everybody but somebody has to pay the bills.

Another thing: Did you know that drug addicts are considered disabled? Why not treat them, get them cleaned up, get them job rehab, make them attend counseling, make them live in settings where they are strictly monitored, make them stop using. Make them work. They can clean the roadways or something like that. Don't reward them with a paycheck for being addicts.

Look at all the people who are sick and can't get medical care because some insurer won't cover them - too costly. They are basically thrown out into the street to fend for themselves as best they can. Cancer, I'm talking about - terminal illness, excruciating pain, can't get any help.

Look at the people who work but can't afford their employer's insurance. Outrageous, completely dirty, completely unconscionable. Yet, you think we should pay and pay and pay for people who want to have baby after baby so they can get a bigger welfare check, not because they love those babies. They should get to keep using drugs and alcohol, and so on. Like I said, come back in a couple of decades and tell your opinion then.

Higgs · May 24, 2009

Harsh and not very PC, but true. Deep down we all think it - but don't want to say it for fear of being judged ourselves...

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · May 24, 2009

To the OP, I understand where you're coming from. I, too, consider myself pretty open minded and accepting. I don't judge patients based upon their socioeconomic status or what subculture they belong to. I've taken care of lifelong alcoholics from off the streets and rich donors to the hospital. To me, they all look the same in that hospital gown. They are a patient, and I treat all my patients the same.

That does not mean that I don't sometimes form judgments about patients. As humans, we all do it. I do, however, make an effort to question the judgments that I make and to set them aside when providing care, though that can be difficult at times.

A recent case was a young woman that had drank herself into liver failure. The caring fiance had finally brought her in two weeks after he noticed her skin was yellow. Yes, two weeks. For two months prior, she had been housebound. Wonder where she was getting all that liquor? As that young woman laid there crapping her bed in her hepatic encephalopathy, I wanted to smack that fiance....hard.

As for judgmental coworkers, just be the kind of nurse, the kind of person, that you want to be, the kind of person you can feel good about when you look in the mirror. But be very careful not to climb up on that high horse...it's a long way down if you fall off.

Some of the best nurses I know have strong opinions about things, and if I had ignored them because I disagree with their opinions, I can't imagine all the things I would not have learned from them. Everyone has value, even those judgmental nurses.

VICEDRN, BSN, RN · May 24, 2009

To the OP, I understand where you're coming from. I, too, consider myself pretty open minded and accepting. I don't judge patients based upon their socioeconomic status or what subculture they belong to. I've taken care of lifelong alcoholics from off the streets and rich donors to the hospital. To me, they all look the same in that hospital gown. They are a patient, and I treat all my patients the same.
That does not mean that I don't sometimes form judgments about patients. As humans, we all do it. I do, however, make an effort to question the judgments that I make and to set them aside when providing care, though that can be difficult at times.
A recent case was a young woman that had drank herself into liver failure. The caring fiance had finally brought her in two weeks after he noticed her skin was yellow. Yes, two weeks. For two months prior, she had been housebound. Wonder where she was getting all that liquor? As that young woman laid there crapping her bed in her hepatic encephalopathy, I wanted to smack that fiance....hard.
As for judgmental coworkers, just be the kind of nurse, the kind of person, that you want to be, the kind of person you can feel good about when you look in the mirror. But be very careful not to climb up on that high horse...it's a long way down if you fall off.
Some of the best nurses I know have strong opinions about things, and if I had ignored them because I disagree with their opinions, I can't imagine all the things I would not have learned from them. Everyone has value, even those judgmental nurses.

Thanks for saying pretty much what I would have. Its important to walk the fine line between judgmental and not using judgment/being codependent. Thanks!

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · May 24, 2009

I thought there was a 5 year cap on welfare, no one can receive it for more then 60 cumulative months. So how can someone be on life long?

Also if someone has worked and then found themselves out of work and on welfare, they to have paid into the system, they have also paid for others help and there own. Lets say someone works for 40 years in their lifetime, and they are on welfare for the max of 5 years, that is still 40 years they have paid their dues.

You can't assume why a PT. is on welfare, often times the little snippet of what you see, doesn't tell the full story in regards to this specifically.

JMO

Vito Andolini · May 24, 2009

Harsh and not very PC, but true. Deep down we all think it - but don't want to say it for fear of being judged ourselves...

Unless we speak up, we are not fulfilling our duties as citizens. There is definitely a price to pay for freedom and for justice, a price to pay for expressing unpopular thoughts or taking unpopular stands.

We cannot wait for someone else to shoulder the responsibilities while we sit back and reap the benefits of their suffering. For make no mistake, those who do speak up are targets. And targets get shot at (not necessarily with real bullets). Shame on those who let fear keep them silent on the sidelines.

That said, sometimes there is a gentle approach to take that will lessen the suffering for those who speak up. Not always but sometimes. Jesus did not find it. He went all the way to that cross.

2BSure · May 24, 2009

Hmmmmmm...

I don't think some allusion to "freedom of speech" or "rights" should be used as an excuse to be, at best, a jerk. We should be judged by how we behave towards those less fortunate than ourselves. This is nothing to do with being politically correct but directly to do with ignorance and small mindedness. If you are small minded you shouldn't keep silent out of fear but because you are ashamed of your lack of humanity.

Luckily I get better at catching my small minded moments and opinions. Luckily I feel like crap when I judge others out of ignorance. I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but I am teachable and sometimes the lessons are excruciatingly painful.

2BSure · May 24, 2009

Harsh and not very PC, but true. Deep down we all think it - but don't want to say it for fear of being judged ourselves...

More like for fear of being seen as exactly what we are...a jerk.

jpRN84, BSN, RN · May 24, 2009

As human beings we all make judgements, it's part of our nature. The trick is to find that fine line where you do not be judgemental and automatically jump to conclusions. Also, at times we need to set aside our beliefs and feelings about things when caring for someone that has a history we don't agree with. No one is perfect, and the old sayings "Never judge someone until you walked a mile in their shoes" and "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" really are true. Best of luck to you.

and yes, i have noticed as well that there are ALOT of down right rude people on here too. BUT you can get that anywhere, it's part of life.

keithjones · May 24, 2009

for the person who said see how you feel about it in 20 years it reminded me of a quote i once heard. if you are 20 and not a democrat you don't have a heart, if you are 40 and not a republican you don't have a brain! you live and you learn.