Job Opportunity or Relationship

[ctruon1]

I’m feeling kind of lost and I need some advice. I graduate with my BSN this December and did a summer internship at my local VA hospital and the two days ago my nurse manager called me and asked if I would want to work as a staff nurse 1 there after I graduate and passed my NCLEX. So I pretty much have secured a job months before I graduate. However, I’m also in a long distance relationship and my bf wants me to move over there to make it work. I’m very conflicted because I live in the San Francisco/Bay Area and it’s very competitive and it’s normal to wait 6 months-1 year to find a new grad position and I already have one in the bag. I also love my unit, I worked there as a student nurse and it was be an easy transition to be an RN there and the pay would be roughly $55-60 an hr. But I also love my boyfriend, but I’m not sure about moving 3,000 miles across the country would be worth it in addition to the pay cut in addition to trying to find a job and interview (in the DC area). I’m very conflicted on my decision, it’s either him or my job here.

[Daisy Joyce]

If you don’t have a rock on your finger and a wedding venue booked, the. You’re a free agent.

Take the job.

[jobellestarr]

9 hours ago, organichombre said:

Bottom line you have a job already. As others have said if you want to wait and then relocate that's cool. However, in response to the person who spoke of the "government job with excellent benefits", all VA's are not the same. Most public hospitals offer 4-5 weeks paid vacation these days, the VA's retirement matches what you put in which is common practice, pay rates are variable as they are in the public, governmental red tape ties your hands in unbelievable ways, tuition reiumbursement is regional as well, depends on how scarce nurses are, sure once you get over the 2 year probation period, you'd have to kill someone to get fired! not really kidding...too much, on the other hand, we Vets love nursing students, you are serving your country in many ways, and once a VA nurse you can transfer to any state in the Union with your one license. I know I got off target, but life is short and relationships come and go...what does your heart tell you? Good luck!

Also, you get a pension, which you don’t contribute to and if you put in your years of service, you get to keep your benefits for life. I retired from IHS and to me, it was definitely worth it.

[StrwbryblndRN]

Only you can answer the question. But I have to disagree with what others. Boyfriends come and go, yes, but is he worth it. If I love a man, I would go for it and move. But I can understand wanting to get some experience in an area you are familiar with. What does your heart say?

[nursebert, MSN]

VA was not for me but it does offer the opportunity to transfer and I might even return to the VA if it were San Francisco. There are 2 VA hospitals in the DC area as well as Walter Reed and a few other government facilities where you could transfer after you spend about a year in SF. You are so lucky. Take the VA job in SF . Once you are a government employee you can move around among agencies such as Department of Defense and others. I am excited for you and wish you all the best.

[Herecomesthesun]

If the previous comments haven't convinced you yet I think you may want to look at what you wrote in the first place. You listed all the benefits of taking the job in SF, but none of the benefits of dear BF.

As a former CA new grad that had to relocate to be able to find a job in the hospital I say take the job. I originally could not find a new grad position in a Sacramento hospital, so had to move to LA. I did not get new grad training, and the work environment was TOXIC. Thankfully husband was willing to move, and I am now at a different Hospital that is better, but we both miss Sacramento.

[kdodge, ADN, BSN, RN]

Ctruon1,

First of all, congrats on graduating, getting your degree, and more importantly... your license!!! You've overcome so many hurdles to be here and you shouldn't overlook what you've accomplished.

Second, as a former CA grad who was looking for a job in an oversaturated market a number of years ago, it's amazing that you have the offer of work so quickly. Please never forget how valuable the right contact/relationship can be, it has opened up a door for you that so many wish for.

Finally, the other posters are right. I had an opportunity for a job that would throw me into the shark tank, but teach me more than almost any other job about being able to handle the worst of the worst nursing situations (think supplies running out, power shutting down, codes every other day, patients who are so sick that they can't go home for more than 6 months)... and a brand new relationship with someone who has become my partner and other half. He had the option to move and get a new job and wanted me to come with him... but he was amazing enough to not only stay with me but help me through my first year of nursing so that I could pursue my dream of being an Oncology nurse later.

True love does not ask you to sacrifice your opportunities in favor of theirs, they will amend their lives to support you. If he understands how much this opportunity means to you, then he should be willing to support you either by moving to be with you, or waiting and not pushing you to give this opportunity up.

Good luck, and I'm hoping that this all turns out for the best for you.

[C_M_L_R18]

I am married.

Take. The. Job.

The fact that you’re asking, means you already know the answer your heart desires.

My spouse would have waited for me, and I for him. In fact, I let him bumble through major change after major change after change (paramedic school, then med term, then finally coding. And then he wanted to get his BA...) now it’s my turn. Someone who loves you will 110% support and understand why you need to take this.

Mine would tell me to take the job and then move with me. Your starting salary is more than what my spouse and I made together when we first had our first, and will probably be just a bit less than what we’ll make together once I’m graduated from nursing school.

If hes not a fool, he’ll do it, and get a job by you.

[amoLucia]

Hate to be a Debbie Downer here but I have to throw a monkey wrench into the picture.

Unless I'm mistaken, OP has yet to finish school & graduate. Then there's NCLEX. If something falls thru, will the VA hold a job for her??? There's no guarantees. I really would like to see someone achieve such a wonderful career opportunity. And I do agree with all the other PPs re the benefits to be garnered. But then again, she has to graduate and become licensed.

Then there's the other caveat - they' re NOT married. Something might arise that could kabosh that plan. And then OP is left high & dry some 3000 miles across the country. Again, I do hope that her shorter range goals are reached.

I would be in a quandary, too. There's risks in her situation.

I wouldn't be able to give her an answer but I'm trying to be a pragmatist.

OP - good luck to you.

[Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN]

New grad jobs are hard to come by...and opportunities to get into the VA are just as hard. You were very lucky and may have potentially scored both.

If you get the VA job, I would work the 1-2 years in SF, then--if you two are still together--look at transferring to a VA out by him. If your boyfriend is as invested in the relationship as you are, then he will understand that what you are doing the best for both you as an individual and you as a long-term couple. And he'll be willing to come out to SF for half that time while you go visit DC the other half.

But if he's expecting you to move out there "to make it [the relationship] work"...sorry, but I'm old and cynical and that sentence there raises a red flag. If he's expecting you to make all the sacrifices and do all the heavy lifting, I don't think he's as willing to put the effort into the relationship as you think/hope he is. Maybe I'm wrong and I'd love to be proven so...but I've seen this happen way too often to be optimistic about the chances.

At the end of the day, the decision is up to you. But don't just think in terms of the boyfriend...think of what is best for YOU at the end of the day.

Best of luck whatever you decide.