Hi there! I am new to this site, this is my first posting. I am an RN nursing student, approaching my senior year this fall. I have sort of a weird problem....has anyone else experienced this? I don't volunteer my test scores to anyone, of course, but occasionally people ask, and I will tell them what I got on the latest test. Long story short, in a small class (about 30) I and one other student very rarely get below a 90 on tests. I try to be friendly to everyone, I'm a "people-pleaser"! I want to be friends with everyone! But I feel lately like people are just avoiding me somewhat, and they act as if I am a snob or something. I go out of my way not to advertise my grades, and be open to friendships with everyone in my class. I'm not any smarter than anyone else, I just study my butt off, pretty much every night. Am I paranoid, or has anyone else experienced this?:wink2:
Queen Jane, I love the Grateful Dead. I followed them for years. They do "Queen Jane Approximately" much better than Dylan. In fact, Dylan said last year, "if you really want to hear the best versions of my songs, listen to the Grateful Dead versions". (something like that)
I followed them, too, named my only son Cassidy West, who is now almost 14! That's an interesting comment from Dylan, I think it's very true! Despite all the drugs and deaths in this band, I still maintain they are the best rock band that ever was or will every be! (i'm very unbiased, though!, Ha Ha)
I've noticed on this site more than in class, a general disdain amongst some people towards intellectualism. Some seem almost proud of scraping by and arguing to keep or lower standards instead of raise them.
I do, however, observe some of this at school. A significant minority (I hope it's a minority, at least) of my classmates have a lack of interest in details or advanced understanding so long as they pass the tests and stay in the program. I fear for what kind of nurses they will be.
At work, too (I work in an ICU), I've asked many questions regarding why something is done to be met with "that's just how it is" or "I don't know...no one's really asked that before!".
I think top students need to take a stand for high standards and an intellectual approach, especially after graduating.
I totally agree. Although it obviously doesn't matter what your grades are as far as passing NCLEX goes, nevertheless, it's just a matter of personal pride with me. I know a good test grade shows I really grasped the material, and I definately think it will make me a "better" nurse, at least a more knowledgeable one. I am currently an ER tech, and I am always sticking my nose in whenever I can if something interesting/new is going on with a patient. I want to know why and how, that's just me! I probably annoy the heck out of the nurses! But I hope to be able to answer my patient's questions more often than always saying, "not sure, ask your doctor".
I suppose everyone's personality impacts this as well. But I do think your test grades overall are a reflection of how knowledgeable and competant you will be as an RN.
I was top of my class in LVN school... other students would ask me reference questions as though expecting me to be as reliable as a textbook. I would just point them toward the book... I don't have multiple editors :wink2:[/quote']
I love it!! Classmates have asked me how do you study? How do you do it? And I always say, uh, the books, the books, and again, the books! It's all in the books. You have to read! (even while you fall asleep while drooling on the page!):zzzzz
Hi there! I am new to this site, this is my first posting. I am an RN nursing student, approaching my senior year this fall. I have sort of a weird problem....has anyone else experienced this? I don't volunteer my test scores to anyone, of course, but occasionally people ask, and I will tell them what I got on the latest test. Long story short, in a small class (about 30) I and one other student very rarely get below a 90 on tests. I try to be friendly to everyone, I'm a "people-pleaser"! I want to be friends with everyone! But I feel lately like people are just avoiding me somewhat, and they act as if I am a snob or something. I go out of my way not to advertise my grades, and be open to friendships with everyone in my class. I'm not any smarter than anyone else, I just study my butt off, pretty much every night. Am I paranoid, or has anyone else experienced this?:wink2:
Don't worry, many people have higher scores than you. They may not advertise it though since it's no one else's concern. Don't assume that people are avoiding you because of your grades.
We also have people in our class who try to make everyone think that they are doing exceptional, but really aren't doing as well as they pretend. Not only was it going on in our nursing classes, but has carried over into summer courses with the same few people. Personally, I could care less what others get on their tests. If it makes them feel good to boast about their high grades, then so be it......they won't be signing my paycheck when I graduate and I just don't let them get under my skin.
Jealousy... my class was FULL of it... I was one of the ones that held over a 3.0 in our program when the majority of the class was borderline failing... sooo people started resenting the fact that I didnt have to study as much/as hard as they did yet I was never in the trouble zone with my grades.
I've only finished the prereqs to NS but I saw it there quite a bit. I was affectionately called Superwoman and Miss Smartypants by a number of classmates. Everyone was friendly and genuinely nice to me but I always felt a slight difference in the way they acted towards me vs. relating to other classmates. I didn't dwell on it at the time - and I often worked with people on tough subjects because helping others reinforces my learning.
However, as soon as that 1 1/2 year series of classes was done, those people disappeared from my life. These were people I considered my friends. I had met their families, been to their homes and vice versa, for both school and non-school based situtations like parties, etc.
I think that was the ultimate disappointment - that the people who were always very close to me in school had no interest in keeping in touch afterwards as we enter the different programs around my city. So they were only friendships of convenience on their part... It wouldn't be so bad except I was new to my city (relocated to STL from Los Angeles) and to have those so-called friendships completely voided was and still remains very isolating.
So that's the price I pay for being a good student. I don't know how I'll handle things in NS.
i thought it was just me! i was actually starting to think there was a problem with my personality or something. thank you for starting this thread.
i am valedictorian of my graduating class and have had a 4.0 all along. it doesn't come easy to me as popular belief nor do i wave my test scores around. i actually flip my scantron over as soon as i get it because people turn around or over my shoulder to look...
it got to the point where ive stopped answering questions in class to give others a chance and to get them to hate me less. its not that i want to be friends with them, i dont. i just want the dirty looks and nasty remarks to stop. its like they are mad at me because i get better grades. i really am a nice person, and i dont gossip, i am very honest and i would give you the shirt off my back. they have made me feel 2 inches tall at times.
i flunked out of high school. went to jail. got my GED. had a drug addiction and went to rehab. struggled with anorexia and bulimia. was homeless and lived in my car while putting myself through college to become a paramedic. i struggled. i worked 2 full time jobs. i almost didnt make it.. but i graduated. now that i am in nursing school, all i can see is that goal... that now i might actually make it. i am not going to let other peoples insecurity get in my way.
i was actually approached by an instructor who said people in the class were upset with me because i didnt invite them to my study group or share my notes with everyone. im sorry, i didnt know because i have the best grades in the class that i am the sole provider of notes and the only one who can have a study group? please. i shared my notes with everyone one semester, only to find that while i was frantically typing and writing, they sat there and napped cause they knew they would get the info from me! that was the end of that.
i am counting down the days until i graduate nursing school. i dont know if its low self esteem, insecurity, whatever.... but i have NEVER met a bunch of cattier adults. it seems the better my scores are, the more they hate me.
i offer to help. i offer to tutor. but i will not hand hold anyone. i didnt go to nursing school to make friends with anyone or to carry anyone through. i am there solely for the purpose of allison becoming a nurse. period.
Then there are the people who study their butts off, but always in secret, so they can claim "Oh, I never study, I just remember what was said in class." ... Trying to impress everyone with their "natural" academic abilities.
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
i doubt that anyone cares about your grades. they are concerned about their grades - not yours.
I have not found this to be true; students suddenly either try to become your best friend and resent you when you don't share as much as they believe you should.
Eh, you'd be surprised. There are plenty of people in NS that care about other people's grades. I chalk this up to immaturity and a wee bit of jealousy. Many of these people could have better grades if they focused more on the books and less on the gossip.
Very similar to the catty behavior that you see once you're a practicing nurse..
Yes, and it gets worse when you actually start working and show that you are interested in learning even more.
The smart students are the ones who look interested in being there, are not dressed to party, not talking about last night's party, or saying "didja see da game?", or talking about cars, or doing homework for their remedial math class, or looking like they hope the lab won't last the whole class period. I don't always identify ALL the smart people in the class at a glance (because some people who dress to party are BRILLIANT), but I never pick a dummy.
As for teachers mentioning me by name in class, the first time it happens I just go up to the teacher after class and say "please don't mention me by name in front of the whole class --it embarrasses me" Then quickly change the subject to avoid embarrassing THEM. They never mention me again. In the courses where I haven't ask them to stop, they envariably mention me all semester.
In some courses it becomes clear early on that I'm developing a "back channel" relationship with the teacher through office hour conversations or email. When that happens I just ask them up front not to mention my name in front of the class, then quickly change the subject (never embarrass!!). The best teachers know this intuitively.
As future nurses we need to learn to empathize with and support all kinds of people. Right? Some of them are class sponges. I try to use class experience to learn how to deal with different kinds of people, including those with "code brown" of the brain. These people need emotional support, too, just like we do. Not all of our patients are going to be scholars.
I also had a relationship with most of my professors. I would email or meet with them during conference time to review if my interpetation of the material was correct. I also had to tell them not to announce what grades I personally got, because I felt the same...I didn't want to embarass them. I'll never forget the first nursing exam we had. It seemed easy to me, because I studied really hard for it. The next day, the instructors came in and said that "Everyone did HORRIBLE except for one person who earned an A". They started reviewing the test when I went to the bathroom, and I remember saying 'I got that one right, that one too...' and wondering who got the A, and then, realized it was probably me. Then, I remember everyone saying "Who got the A??" like it was a witch hunt, and then, everyone suddenly turned around and stared at me, saying "It was probably YOU". That was a great deal of pressure for me. From there, I said to myself that I would never mention my grades, because they really didn't matter in the grand scheme of things...the most important thing was to make it through the program and then, even more significant, to pass NCLEX.
Then there are the people who study their butts off, but always in secret, so they can claim "Oh, I never study, I just remember what was said in class." ... Trying to impress everyone with their "natural" academic abilities.
One of the things that annoys me now that this is over is that I still love to learn. I am not interested in becoming an RN, but I still ask numerous questions. I have had people say "What do you want to know THAT for, if you don't plan to become an RN". I believe a person that holding the title of nurse on any level should display a desire to continue learning to improve their practice.
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
i thought it was just me! i was actually starting to think there was a problem with my personality or something. thank you for starting this thread.
i am valedictorian of my graduating class and have had a 4.0 all along. it doesn't come easy to me as popular belief nor do i wave my test scores around. i actually flip my scantron over as soon as i get it because people turn around or over my shoulder to look...
it got to the point where ive stopped answering questions in class to give others a chance and to get them to hate me less. its not that i want to be friends with them, i dont. i just want the dirty looks and nasty remarks to stop. its like they are mad at me because i get better grades. i really am a nice person, and i dont gossip, i am very honest and i would give you the shirt off my back. they have made me feel 2 inches tall at times.
i flunked out of high school. went to jail. got my GED. had a drug addiction and went to rehab. struggled with anorexia and bulimia. was homeless and lived in my car while putting myself through college to become a paramedic. i struggled. i worked 2 full time jobs. i almost didnt make it.. but i graduated. now that i am in nursing school, all i can see is that goal... that now i might actually make it. i am not going to let other peoples insecurity get in my way.
i was actually approached by an instructor who said people in the class were upset with me because i didnt invite them to my study group or share my notes with everyone. im sorry, i didnt know because i have the best grades in the class that i am the sole provider of notes and the only one who can have a study group? please. i shared my notes with everyone one semester, only to find that while i was frantically typing and writing, they sat there and napped cause they knew they would get the info from me! that was the end of that.
i am counting down the days until i graduate nursing school. i dont know if its low self esteem, insecurity, whatever.... but i have NEVER met a bunch of cattier adults. it seems the better my scores are, the more they hate me.
i offer to help. i offer to tutor. but i will not hand hold anyone. i didnt go to nursing school to make friends with anyone or to carry anyone through. i am there solely for the purpose of allison becoming a nurse. period.
sorry if this sounds harsh. im venting.
I can feel your pain. I didn't offer tutoring, though, because to be honest, I couldn't function that way. I had weird ways of making associations for the nursing material that would not have made sense to the average person, and also, I am such a private individual that I cherish my time to myself. I had a personal tutor of my own, because to be honest, I needed help myself and I was able to admit that I was more into having a private session to have all of my issues addressed without an audience.
The director of my program used to accuse me of being a selfish person as well and tried to pressure me into sharing notes and study sessions. She was horrible to me, but I stayed strong and told her that I was not responsible for ensuring the other students of their future when I owed it to myself. The same as you, the few times I shared, I got nothing in return.
I really hated nursing school with a passion. I know it was a right of passage, so to speak to get where I am, now, but I saw too many people trying to get things the easier way...on my back, and I had to place a limit on it for my own personal survival/sanity.
I have not found this to be true; students suddenly either try to become your best friend and resent you when you don't share as much as they believe you should.
:rcgtku:
I totally agree! I was on the higher end of my class grade wise, and people ALWAYS expected me to share info. Right after I took NCLEX last week (I scheduled earlier than most of my classmates to get it over with), I had a bazillion people contacting me asking what was on it, how many questions I had, was it hard, etc. Not even a congrats that I passed! I told them "It musn't have been too bad, since I passed, but I guess you'll find out when you take it."
queenjane
22 Posts
I followed them, too, named my only son Cassidy West, who is now almost 14! That's an interesting comment from Dylan, I think it's very true! Despite all the drugs and deaths in this band, I still maintain they are the best rock band that ever was or will every be!
(i'm very unbiased, though!, Ha Ha)