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It's not my job to pray with you.

Spirituality   (51,483 Views | 265 Replies)
by kickatthedark kickatthedark (New) New

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You are reading page 10 of It's not my job to pray with you.. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

OCNRN63 is a RN and specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

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I would not participate in applying snake oil and I dont participate in a patients delusional behavior.

Unfortunately they have plenty of company in their delusion. Of course I dont confront them on this issue, I just ignore it. There has been a few times where I had to state that there was no god to get out of a situation.

At times patients credit god with the improvement of their health. When I hear this, I just ignore it. I had a 40 year old woman who had breast cancer. She went home to have faith healing. A couple months later she was back in the ICU to die. As I was caring for the tumors protruding from her chest, her sister was playing today's sermon. She even told me that I was the answer to her prayers. I asked how that was, and she said that she prayed that I would be her sisters nurse.

I know that a patients emotional health is just as important, and I act appropriately. I just wish our world would over this religion thing and realize the truth.

While I would support your right not to participate in a prayer, telling a religious person who is sick, in pain, and in spiritual crisis, "There is no God" is beyond cruel. What possible good could come out of your having said that?

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I think some people may be hesitant to participate in religious rituals or prayer because of bad experiences with religion. I had very very bad experiences with religion as a child, and when I left home, I completely threw religion out of my life. It honestly would have bothered me to pray with a patient because it would have reminded me of certain things--It would have made me angry. Now, I've gotten to the point where I don't mind it. I'll pray to God, Allah, Zeus...whoever the patient wants to pray to. But it took me a while to get there. Some people, for their own emotional health, need to get someone else for the patient to pray with.

I hadn't thought of that particular perspective before. Thanks for saying that, it makes me feel a little sheepish about my earlier stance.

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hppygr8ful has 15 years experience and specializes in Psych, Addictions, Elder Care, L&D.

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I would not participate in applying snake oil and I dont participate in a patients delusional behavior.

Unfortunately they have plenty of company in their delusion. Of course I dont confront them on this issue, I just ignore it. There has been a few times where I had to state that there was no god to get out of a situation

At the risk of sounding argumentative which I am not trying to be, one could say that someone who choses to believe there is no God is also delusional. I spent many years running from religion and putting all my faith in science and what I could see, touch and feel in this world. Over time I settled on the idea of intelligent design as I could not bring myself to believe that the complexity of this world is all the result of some cosmic accident." There was a movie a few years back that starred the great Sean Connery - In it he stated that if a person prays and tries to live a moral life and dies to find heaven waiting he has gained everthing. If he dies and there is nothing waiting he has lost nothing.

This does not mean that everybody has to believe in religion or God. Each is free to choose their own path. My faith is a personal thing - I generally don't go around trying to prove God exists and I appreciate it when athiests refrain from trying to prove to me He does not. To each their own - its a big planet and there is plenty of room for all of us. But I digress from the original OP's Statement.

I have yet to work for a hospital that would force a nurse to pray with a patient so calm your jets. You always have the right to respectfully refuse. No one is forcing anything on you. If it truely makes you uncomfortable don't do it - but please honor your patients belief which you can do even if you don't agree. After all I don't believe in Butterfly, rainbow, glitter, kittens, but if taeling a peds patient a story about one would help I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Hppy

Edited by hppygr8ful

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I hadn't thought of that particular perspective before. Thanks for saying that, it makes me feel a little sheepish about my earlier stance.

Don't feel sheepish! You seem to be a no-nonsense, good hearted person.

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Surprised1 has 8 years experience and specializes in pediatric neurology and neurosurgery.

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I would not participate in applying snake oil and I dont participate in a patients delusional behavior.

Unfortunately they have plenty of company in their delusion. Of course I dont confront them on this issue, I just ignore it. There has been a few times where I had to state that there was no god to get out of a situation.

At times patients credit god with the improvement of their health. When I hear this, I just ignore it. I had a 40 year old woman who had breast cancer. She went home to have faith healing. A couple months later she was back in the ICU to die. As I was caring for the tumors protruding from her chest, her sister was playing today's sermon. She even told me that I was the answer to her prayers. I asked how that was, and she said that she prayed that I would be her sisters nurse.

I know that a patients emotional health is just as important, and I act appropriately. I just wish our world would over this religion thing and realize the truth.

In response to the two bolded sentences above:

It is unkind, not to mention fruitless, to tell a patient that there is no God. Their God is real to them, and you are not going to accomplish anything by telling them otherwise. Their faith is an integral part of who they are. Who are you to challenge that to their face? That's rude. If you have used that challenge as a way to extricate yourself from an uncomfortable situation, then perhaps you could think of a different exit strategy to use next time. Maybe just a firm but polite "I don't discuss religion at work".

For the second bolded sentence, there has always been some sort of religion in the world, every locale and every people group. It fills a need in the collective human spirit. Might as well get used to it.

It's part of your role as a nurse, not to provide spiritual care per se, but to recognize that a person's spiritual health is not separate from their physical health. It's part of the beauty of being a nurse.

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Lost:

It is mighty presumptuous to insinuate that *you* know the truth. None of really do--we all have presuppositions, but can prove nothing. It is insanely cruel to debate concepts of religion during a patient's most vulnerable time.

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Big deal. Play along and make the patient and their family/friends happy. I promise it won't hurt you or suddenly make you want to change your entire life for an imaginary friend. All you're doing is providing comfort.

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These types of post always make me feel sad for humanity. We, as nurses, have chosen a career in which we are charged with helping people of various cultural backgorunds. If you don't believe in God, that's ok. But if your non-religious attitude causes you to begin insulting people who do by equating God with unicorns and such, you're really showing yourself to be ignorant.

It's about acceptance. You have to accept people for who they are. People on both sides can call the other fools. Come in. Do your job. Be a competent and caring nurse and then go home and be who you are. I don't get why this has to always turn into religion bashing.

Atheism is for all intent and purposes a religion. We all have a philosophy about life and the meaning or lack of meaning of life. I assure you there are *******s and good people on both sides of the fence. Just live and let live people.

As for the OP, you can kindly decline to participate in anything like that that you are not comfortable with, but for being afraid to be honest to keep your religious friends... I wouldn't advise that. Some of them would look at you differently, some of them may pity you, but so what... other will accept you for who you are and that's real friendship.

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rnsheri has 3 years experience and specializes in Med/Surg, orthopedics, urology.

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I clock in, I am "X", RN. Problems at home? Shut it off. Angry at a coworker? Shut it off. My personal feelings about religion? NOT RELEVANT, SHUT IT OFF.

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Jensmom7 has 36 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in Hospice.

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I agree with your stance. If I ever encounter a situation like that I'll send for the chaplain. Nobody's forcing religion on me.

That's a bit of an over reaction. Asking you to stand in as they pray isn't "forcing religion" on you.

Perhaps part of the confusion is the fact that this isn't about you, it's about your patient.

Proselytizing is generally the last thing on someone's mind at a time like this. They trust you enough to want to include you in something that brings them peace. The least you can do is be polite and stand there quietly.

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Laurie52 has 36 years experience and specializes in SICU/CVICU.

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This thread has really surprised me. Hasn't anyone over been to a wedding or funeral for someone of a different faith? No one is asking you to convert, just be respectful of others beliefs.

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I'm actually surprised and thankful that despite the differences in opinions and the nature of this topic this thread hasn't devolved into chaos and shut down LOL :)

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