It's not my job to pray with you.

Surprised1, MSN, RN · Jul 11, 2015

I would not participate in applying snake oil and I dont participate in a patients delusional behavior.
Unfortunately they have plenty of company in their delusion. Of course I dont confront them on this issue, I just ignore it. There has been a few times where I had to state that there was no god to get out of a situation.
At times patients credit god with the improvement of their health. When I hear this, I just ignore it. I had a 40 year old woman who had breast cancer. She went home to have faith healing. A couple months later she was back in the ICU to die. As I was caring for the tumors protruding from her chest, her sister was playing today's sermon. She even told me that I was the answer to her prayers. I asked how that was, and she said that she prayed that I would be her sisters nurse.
I know that a patients emotional health is just as important, and I act appropriately. I just wish our world would over this religion thing and realize the truth.

In response to the two bolded sentences above:

It is unkind, not to mention fruitless, to tell a patient that there is no God. Their God is real to them, and you are not going to accomplish anything by telling them otherwise. Their faith is an integral part of who they are. Who are you to challenge that to their face? That's rude. If you have used that challenge as a way to extricate yourself from an uncomfortable situation, then perhaps you could think of a different exit strategy to use next time. Maybe just a firm but polite "I don't discuss religion at work".

For the second bolded sentence, there has always been some sort of religion in the world, every locale and every people group. It fills a need in the collective human spirit. Might as well get used to it.

It's part of your role as a nurse, not to provide spiritual care per se, but to recognize that a person's spiritual health is not separate from their physical health. It's part of the beauty of being a nurse.

Purple_roses · Jul 11, 2015

Lost:

It is mighty presumptuous to insinuate that *you* know the truth. None of really do--we all have presuppositions, but can prove nothing. It is insanely cruel to debate concepts of religion during a patient's most vulnerable time.

truthteller · Jul 11, 2015

Big deal. Play along and make the patient and their family/friends happy. I promise it won't hurt you or suddenly make you want to change your entire life for an imaginary friend. All you're doing is providing comfort.

ToyaB · Jul 12, 2015

These types of post always make me feel sad for humanity. We, as nurses, have chosen a career in which we are charged with helping people of various cultural backgorunds. If you don't believe in God, that's ok. But if your non-religious attitude causes you to begin insulting people who do by equating God with unicorns and such, you're really showing yourself to be ignorant.

It's about acceptance. You have to accept people for who they are. People on both sides can call the other fools. Come in. Do your job. Be a competent and caring nurse and then go home and be who you are. I don't get why this has to always turn into religion bashing.

Atheism is for all intent and purposes a religion. We all have a philosophy about life and the meaning or lack of meaning of life. I assure you there are *******s and good people on both sides of the fence. Just live and let live people.

As for the OP, you can kindly decline to participate in anything like that that you are not comfortable with, but for being afraid to be honest to keep your religious friends... I wouldn't advise that. Some of them would look at you differently, some of them may pity you, but so what... other will accept you for who you are and that's real friendship.

rnsheri · Jul 12, 2015

I clock in, I am "X", RN. Problems at home? Shut it off. Angry at a coworker? Shut it off. My personal feelings about religion? NOT RELEVANT, SHUT IT OFF.

Jensmom7, BSN, RN · Jul 12, 2015

I agree with your stance. If I ever encounter a situation like that I'll send for the chaplain. Nobody's forcing religion on me.

That's a bit of an over reaction. Asking you to stand in as they pray isn't "forcing religion" on you.

Perhaps part of the confusion is the fact that this isn't about you, it's about your patient.

Proselytizing is generally the last thing on someone's mind at a time like this. They trust you enough to want to include you in something that brings them peace. The least you can do is be polite and stand there quietly.

Laurie52 · Jul 12, 2015

This thread has really surprised me. Hasn't anyone over been to a wedding or funeral for someone of a different faith? No one is asking you to convert, just be respectful of others beliefs.

AlphaM · Jul 12, 2015

I'm actually surprised and thankful that despite the differences in opinions and the nature of this topic this thread hasn't devolved into chaos and shut down LOL :)

Fractal-5 · Jul 12, 2015

I'm a staunch atheist and yet I realize that my job is to be there for what the patient needs in that moment. It isn't our job to tell the patient that there is no god. That is unnecessarily cruel and unkind.

The patient is ill and frightened and whether you realize it or not there is a power imbalance skewed in your favor. If a caregiver attempts to push their beliefs or proselytize it is unethical and wrong. I leave my outspokenness regarding religion at the door when I step into my facility. If a patient asks me to pray with them I would be fine with standing there respectfully while they pray, as RubyVee said...if they want someone to pray over them or if they wanted me to actively participate I would be happy to call the chaplain for them. If the situation comes up with coworkers I am honest about my lack of belief and decline to participate in spiritual practices with them. I understand what it's like to have colleagues who tend to assume that you share their belief system and I find that remaining honest, matter of fact, and respectful of one another's differences goes a long way. Otherwise I try to avoid discussing religion or politics at work.

If a patient wants to tell me that a god healed them, or that I am doing "the Lord's work" what harm is that to me? I don't agree but they don't need to know that. I smile and move on about my day. I do however get annoyed by the people who leave those ridiculous Chick tracts in the waiting room for my frightened and ill patients, some of whom are battling cancer, to read. It disgusts me that someone of any persuasion would prey upon the fears of the unwell and take advantage just to advance their cause.

NightOwl0624 · Jul 12, 2015

I clock in, I am "X", RN. Problems at home? Shut it off. Angry at a coworker? Shut it off. My personal feelings about religion? NOT RELEVANT, SHUT IT OFF.

Great Reply!

~PedsRN~, BSN, RN · Jul 12, 2015

Some of my favorite times as a nurse is standing in a patient's room and praying with the families. But I am a religious person. I can definitely see as to where it would be awkward if they asked me to perform a ritual that was not in my wheelhouse. I have stood silently in rooms during muslim prayers, buddhist prayers, etc. But I will actively partake in a Christian prayer if my patient/family requests it. :)

kickatthedark · Jul 13, 2015

I am not upset. I was uncomfortable. The patient wanted me to comfort her in this way and I felt it was not my place to do so. I've also had male patients ask me to comfort them with sexual favours. I was uncomfortable with that too. They are on the same level to me.