It stinks when you are on the other side!

[Vtachy1]

EEks!! My father-in law my precious very much loved father-in law is dying of colon cancer and is hospitalized. I worked all day today visiting him tonight and his wife is upset because his ileostomy is leaking. THe nurses changed it twice today in the hospital. Its SOOOOO tricky to change it. I used to work in the ICU of the same hospital.

The RN comes and does her assessment mother-in-law tells her it is leaking and she states, well they changed it already today.

So I call the supervisor on call my heart is racing and I'm sweating and my heart is about to beat out of my chest and I'm trembling because I HATE confrontation, but I know that SOMETHING has to be done! And the nurse also said something about tell your doctor next time he comes in. Ughh. Its only been 2 years, but we always were allowed to change a wafer on a colostomy.

I tell the supervisor "my main priority is that the nurses don't get in trouble, but I need you to somehow get us the supplies or something so my mother-in-law who is very experienced and has been trained by a special ostomy nurse for weeks, and is a pro at changing it to change it" Or "somehow democratically without stepping on anyone's toes, find a way that we can get the thing changed"

Ughh, I hate confrontation!!!!!! I hope it all turns out okay. Mother-in-law was SOO thankful at least:redbeathe

[ebear, BSN, RN]

Vtachy1, good for you for stepping up to the plate! Sometimes, it just has to be done. It is VERY hard being on the other side. Prayers for your Father-in-law and family. :redpinkhe

[ChristineN, BSN, RN]

They wouldn't let your mother-in-law change it? When I have A&O pts with an ostomy and they or their family wants to do the care I let them go to town! And every hospital I have worked at typically had several replacement bags/wafers/etc at the bedside.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

I have been in the exact same place.

It is a testament to our profession when one of own, can't get what they need for a dying loved one.

Ileostomy care can be tricky, but if they were doing it right, once every 3 days would be necessary.

Those nurses were either inexperienced or using poor judgment. Whatever reason, their lack of concern and compassion was inexcusable.

It would have been a simple matter to have a knowledgeable nurse obtained to apply the device, or simple provide the materials for you.

There was NO NEED for you to worry about notifying the super. It was a shame it was even necessary.

God bless you and your family during this painful time.

[Mrs. SnowStormRN, RN]

Hi VTachy, I'm sorry you're in this situation. I wanted to know if this hospital has patient advocate services? I worked in a hospital that provided this service to patients, and usually spoke on the patients behalf. Sorry I can't give you more advice, just keep being an advocate for your family. Hope all works out.

[tokmom, BSN, RN]

Very tricky when you know the people and the facility. BTDT, but sometimes you have to speak up. I too hate confrontation, it is not fun. Good for you though for saying something.

Big hugs to you and your family.

[merlee]

Buck up, cowgirl. Don't let that ileostomy leak - where's the wound nurse? That leakage will damage the skin. If the floor nurse won't help you, go up the chain. It's not the care he needs, and you will feel better when he get the care he should have.

I have had to fight for MANY of my family members as well as for myself.

Best wishes!!

[ShayRN]

I am so glad you stood up for your father in law. I, too, have a much loved father in law and when he had open heart, I called every day to find out who was working and requested the nurses who I thought were the best to take care of him. It was my floor and I didn't care who I ticked off, but then I am someone who is not afraid of confrontation, I don't like it, but understand it is necessary at times.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

eeks!! my father-in law my precious very much loved father-in law is dying of colon cancer and is hospitalized. i worked all day today visiting him tonight and his wife is upset because his ileostomy is leaking. the nurses changed it twice today in the hospital. its sooooo tricky to change it. i used to work in the icu of the same hospital.

the rn comes and does her assessment mother-in-law tells her it is leaking and she states, well they changed it already today.

so i call the supervisor on call my heart is racing and i'm sweating and my heart is about to beat out of my chest and i'm trembling because i hate confrontation, but i know that something has to be done! and the nurse also said something about tell your doctor next time he comes in. ughh. its only been 2 years, but we always were allowed to change a wafer on a colostomy.

i tell the supervisor "my main priority is that the nurses don't get in trouble, but i need you to somehow get us the supplies or something so my mother-in-law who is very experienced and has been trained by a special ostomy nurse for weeks, and is a pro at changing it to change it" or "somehow democratically without stepping on anyone's toes, find a way that we can get the thing changed"

ughh, i hate confrontation!!!!!! i hope it all turns out okay. mother-in-law was soo thankful at least:redbeathe

why is your "main priority" the nurses' well being? really, you are the advocate for your fil, so i would diplomatically, politely, yet firmly make it known that your top priority is making sure your fil is well cared for. you aren't asking for anyone to do anything other than provide supplies (to which is entitled).

[Mulan]

So was the floor nurse asked for supplies (so the wife could change it) before the supervisor was called?

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

So was the floor nurse asked for supplies (so the wife could change it) before the supervisor was called?

I'm wondering the same thing. Sorry about your FIL.

[Vtachy1]

So was the floor nurse asked for supplies (so the wife could change it) before the supervisor was called?

Mother-in-law told her that it needed to be changed and she lifted up FIL's shirt and said "Its fine, its covered up, and besides they have already changed it today"

So actually mother-in-law and I were gonna go back home and get the supplies because the stores were closed at that time. But it was making me mad and my face was red, hubby said he could see my heart beating on my chest. So I decided to ask the supervisor (thinking it would probably be one that I knew since I worked at this same hospital for 20 years) to diplomatically help us figure out a way to get this done without offending the nurse or making anyone mad. Eeks!