Is this wrong? Death and Dying

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would it be wrong of an instructor to bring up the fact that she has lost 2 sons? She was teaching a class on death and dying Would that be going overboard? The other students were talking about their losses. Is it wrong for the teacher to talk about her losses? Not in detail, but just talking about it during such a class?

I'm with the others, your boss was SO wrong. To follow her line of thinking, it would also be wrong to share your own experiences of how to deal with a mistake, or how to deal with a pt death, even.

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Specializes in Home Health, Geriatrics.

the thing that bothered me the most about her "evaluation" was the fact that she was in the room for 15 minutes and based 2 semesters of teaching on that 15 minutes, and almost null and voided the fact that we were talking about death and dying, and made me feel like my sons weren't important. I did send her an email about how I felt. She never said anything more about it.

I teach at the same school of nursing that I attended back in the 1990's. I remember this same "boss" telling my nursing class about her cancer and losing a breast to the cancer. I will never forget that moment and how it really made me think about how important breast exams really are. I think she has really lost touch with the teaching aspect. If the topic relates to the subject being taught, I believe we should discuss it and share our feelings.

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I teach at the same school of nursing that I attended back in the 1990's. I remember this same "boss" telling my nursing class about her cancer and losing a breast to the cancer. I will never forget that moment and how it really made me think about how important breast exams really are. I think she has really lost touch with the teaching aspect. If the topic relates to the subject being taught, I believe we should discuss it and share our feelings.

WHOA!!!!! If she brings it up again, you would be within your rights to remind her of this little tidbit!!

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Specializes in Education, FP, LNC, Forensics, ED, OB.

I may be wrong here, but I think I'd very respectfully remind her of that, porcelina, when she was your instructor and shared personal information. Information that helped you in your nursing career. Maybe she needs get back on track..........

I, too, have sorry for your losses.

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I would also have to remind her! Let us know what happens.

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Specializes in Cardiac, Adolescent/Child Mental Health.

I don't think so. I had an instructor that did the same thing during our end-of-life lecture.

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How horrible to loose two children!! My sympathies.

Anyway, our lecturers always use stories from their nursing practice, and oftentimes turf in stories from their personal lives. One lecturer said she considered donating her child's organs when they were gravely ill - but thankfully the child recovered. Other lecturers have given very touching stories, and I haven't seen anything wrong with it.

Some of the stories shared by other students are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay less appropriate - one student said she almost got a labotomy, and that student ended up passing and obtained registration much to a lot of disgust given the sheer dangerousness she practiced with. And when ever someone commented on how incompetent and dangerous her practice was she'd say crap like "Your'e just saying that because I'm mentally unwell, you bigot". She wouldn't even take her meds and would have huge bi-polar episodes at work. Very unprofessional and concerning.

Whatever has come out of the mouths of our lecturers and tutors is way more useful and apporpriate then what's been said by idiot students who should be booted out on their orifices.

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Not wrong at all! When I was taking sociology and we were studying death and dying, my professor shared the story of her losing her young son. I can tell you that her sharing had a large impact on me and what I learned and how to deal with death, dying, and grieving families. I still remember her stories so well.. and that was 20 years ago. I have no doubt that it would not have had such an impact had she not shared her personal story. You did nothing wrong. Furthermore, you are human and that loss is a part of you.

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Nothing worng with sharing that information. Look at how your instructor helped you by sharing her story. I bet your class was touched you shared the information and will remember you when dealing with a mother experiencing a loss. This is how we learn to help others.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your boss was completely wrong. I would remind her of how her story helped you years ago. Seems pretty hypocritical not to mention unkind on her part to use this against you. God bless you.

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no way, not wrong at all. It brings the human aspect into nursing, which can be something forgotten when learning all the "right" things to do. Dealing with grief of the family is something we need to feel.

I had an instructor who taught peds. She played a song from a movie. I can't recall the song at the moment, but it was from Where Brother Aret Thou. She was crying and didn't explain why. It touched me quite a bit. We need to deal with both the emotional needs of the family as well as our own. Death isn't always explainable.

My condolences to those who have lost loved ones.

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I've almost finished my first semester of nursing school and of all the classes and lectures I attended the ones that I feel I gained more from were the ones where the instructors shared personal stories or anecdotes from their lives and/or nursing careers.

There's something about hearing first hand experiences that make things more real... And who knows maybe sharing your story helped somebody in your class.

When I recently had a lecture and class on grief and loss we all spoke about our experiences. We also knew of some fellow students that were more likely to be affected by talking about death and dying and as a group made sure they were okay with the class...

:icon_hug:

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that instructor was me. I was evaluated by my boss and she stated it was inappropriate for me to discuss the death of my 2 sons. I just mentioned that I had lost one at 6 weeks to SIDS and my other son was 17 and died in a car accident. Boss told me I was wrong in bringing that up in the class.

I was hurt to say the least.

The person that was wrong was your boss.

As long as you can bring it up, and not break down, and talk about it and that encourages a class discussion, then there is nothing wrong with that.

It's sad that your boss has developed an "us vs them" attitude towards students and instructors.

Both should work as a team...and I am GLAD you have that concept...so few instructors do.

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