I've told some people at work that I'm currently going to school to become a nurse. They told me that I'll be a great nurse because I'm so nice and friendly, but they also told me that most nurses they knew (some of their friends are nurses) are tough people. They said that you have to be tough and be a strong individual, take no crap from anyone, and speaks your mind.
It kind of makes me nervouse about becoming a nurse because I'm not a tough person who speaks her mind. I feel bad saying things I want to say because I'm afraid of hurting other people. I'm the type of person who don't know what to said and step back in an arguement then one who talks back.
My cousin and half sister are nurses and they both are very confidence people who speaks their mind and will burn you down if you argue with them. As for me, I'm the opposite. I guess I'm a soft person.
Nursing is tough and demanding. You can not always be nice and compassionate, sometimes u have to be strong, and assertive. This does improve as your confidence improves. If u are too nice...doctors,other nurses,patients, and families will eat u alive. Stay strong.
Let me say up front that I am not (yet) a nurse, but a strong advocate for and friend of the profession.
Many of my friends have been nurses, and my mom's best friend also is an RN. Personally, I know them as compassionate, loving, strong and confident people who are not afraid to speak their minds or show a no-frills kind of tenderness. They have strong backbones, strong minds, thick skin and tender hearts. They genuninely care about their patients' well-being and would prefer to deal pleasantly with others. However, if they feel a patient is being harmed or they are being manipulated, they are VERY outspoken and stand their ground.
By the way, there are plenty of places in nursing for those with a softer manner as well. Talk with a hospice, oncology or peds nurse.
I am a NJ native, typical "nice girl" and recently moved to NY to work as a nurse in the city. At first everyone (patients and co-workers) told me I was too nice, but that's just the way I am!! Well, I have gotten tougher, I have a stronger voice when advocating for my patients, and I have noticed a difference in a good way. Doctors listen more to what I have to say, they listen to my recommendations and as for my opinion. I even had an attending tell me I was aggressive! (in a good way, she observed me being a strong patient advocate). I never thought I would have a strong voice and people would listen to me as much as they do. You don't have to be mean, but you do have to be confident in what you say, how you present yourself, and make sure your voice is heard. Your patients rely on you!!
I think we can all agree as good nurses that the most important thing and the reason we entered into this profession, is our patients. I agree that we should all be assertive and proactive for our pts. I have to say that I am the first one to avoid confrontation however, I have learned to pick my battles and my pts hopefully have been the better for it. I was once told by one of our pilots that when women are assertive they are considered "B****y" but when men are asserive they are considered strong and a leader. hes was right to a certain degree, but I would rather be assertive ("B****y") for the good of my pt than not.
Ive been a nurse for 3 years. I was just like you (still am at times) and I was run over by charge nurses and especially assistants. I came home crying many times. You do need to be assertive and not get your feelings hurt too easily. But in time that will come, I think. Your timid attitude can be fruitful for your patients though, you will have patience and a good heart to offer to them. You will be fine. If nursing is your calling, then stick to it.
I am a shy, quiet person by nature most of the time. Everyone told me I was meant to be a nurse because I am very caring about others and sensitive. I feel that while I do have those qualities, they sometimes are hard as a nurse. I have not grown one bit "tougher" but I was starting to advocate for my patients better. I think it is a shame nurses have to argue with doctors for their patients in the first place. To me, it is very frustrating how uncaring and rude they can be when all you are trying to do is the right thing for your patient. This has just been my experience, so please don't think that is how you will be. You may be great at advocating, but there is a fine line like the others said and a few of the nurses I worked with had very strong personalities and poor attitudes in general.
You do not need a strong domineering personality, you do not need to be agressive or rude in any way.
You do need the courage to do what is right for your patients. If you are shy by nature(like I am) you will develop the skills you need.
I think most people confuse quietness with shyness or lack of confidence. I remember after being a nurse for a few years I was floated to another unit. The charge nurse was showing me around and telling me "Don't be shy. Ask for help We'll do what we can to help you out." I said "Don't worry about me. I may be quiet by I'm not shy." The RT who was doing her charting chuckled and said to me " I never thought of it that way but its true. You are not shy." I took it as a compliment.
Define tough. To me a nurse may be considered "tough" because he/she has to think on his/her feet and be able to give a rationale for many decisions. You can't be a wimp, but being assertive and being obnoxious are not the same thing. Nursing gave me a lot of confidence. Maybe that is what others see in nurses.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
"Aggressiveness" and "assertiveness" are also not the same thing. It takes a while to learn the difference, and progress is usually not a smooth, straight road but a tortuous pathway full of lumps and bumps!
Here are a few examples:
An aggressive nurse is blunt and pushy. An assertive nurse knows that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
An aggressive nurse intimidates people into 'respecting' her/him. An assertive nurse knows respect is a two-way street, and expects it in return for giving it.
An aggressive nurse is often cocky and abrasive. An assertive nurse has an air of confidence that lets both patients and superiors know that s/he is in command of the situation.
An aggressive nurse irritates physicians and others with whom s/he must work, often to the detriment of patients. An assertive nurse gets what s/he wants by being courteous but direct, and by having her/his ducks lined up BEFORE calling the doctor, thus avoiding the waste of both professionals' time.
An aggressive nurse is angry and frustrated, and at bottom wishes people would just go to hell. An assertive nurse makes sure they enjoy the trip.
I often have people tell me they are surprised I am an ER nurse because I am such a "sweet" person. But I know a ton of "sweet" nurses like me. Like all jobs the spectrum runs from "wimp" to "monster".
There is definately a spot for you somewhere. You will learn to stand up for yourself and your patients but it is a good lesson.
I can honestly say that 99% of the people I encounter everyday are wonderful caring people, from patients to nurses to doctors.
Each encounter is what you make of it for the most part. Of course, there are always an a-hole hiding somewhere.
The people that say everyone out there is nasty and rude need to look in the mirror and see what they are contributing to the mix.
My "schtick" is I start out sweet and nice with everyone, but I can be tough if I have to. The homeless, drunks and psyches seem to respond well to this approach.
lorilou22RN
114 Posts
Nursing is tough and demanding. You can not always be nice and compassionate, sometimes u have to be strong, and assertive. This does improve as your confidence improves. If u are too nice...doctors,other nurses,patients, and families will eat u alive. Stay strong.