Is it responsible of me to try to become a nurse?

[SaltyFish513]

I have a psychotic disorder. I am in a BSN program. I managed to pass my first semester of an accelerated program with 4 Bs and a C. Yet I wonder if it is responsible of me to become a nurse given my history of psychoses.

I consider giving up on this career choice despite shelling out 20k in loans.

I have not had psychoses in two years, but its only a matter of time before it returns. I wonder If I am being responsible pursing this career.

I desperately want to not be disabled by this condition and pursue a normal career path. I desperately want to reclaim my life from the ruinations psychoses caused, but perhaps I am not being realistic.

The doctors state my goals are attainable, and my progneses very good perhaps I should believe them I just don't.

I view this diagnoses as the end of my life. I repeatedly get told I can do this, but I don't believe it. I have been an inpatient in a psychiatric ward .

I suppose I should listen to the doctors when they tell me there is no reason to give up on my dreams that I am capable of this they would know, but it is difficult.

I wonder if I can give the proper care given my condition. Of course when I am stable I have no doubt, but when I am unstable I wonder if I might endanger the patient unintentionally, but none the less whether or not I have any business doing this career path.

Its probably irrelevant as I have my doubts I will pass through nursing school despite passing my first semester.

Call me cynical, but my life experiences have made me so.

I wonder if pursuing this career is even responsible of me given my history. I might be able to pass, and I might even be able to give adequate care for a time, but given my history I wonder if I might not end up endangering a patient at a certain point. Perhaps I should cease my pursuit of this.

[NotMyProblem MSN, ASN, BSN, MSN, LPN, RN]

Are you being treated, I.e. on medications? Are you always this ‘panicky’ (for lack of a better term)? The tone of your post had me thinking, “heck no! Nursing is not for you!” But one can only gather so much information from a post. Given your grades, you must have some degree of control other than the anxiety that this tone suggests.

I think you need to relax before you do trigger an episode. Stress can do that, ya know? Take it one day at a time. It’s one thing to have self-awareness. I applaud you for that. It’s another thing to be so obsessed with oneself that you miss out on life. Today, Chill out and keep learning. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

[Guest1142305]

Trust your providers, and make preventative maintenance a habit. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

[caliotter3]

Whether or not you continue to pursue nursing, self maintenance and optimal health should be your goal just to be able to navigate life and get some enjoyment out of your existence. If you don’t want to listen to your doctors, who know your medical condition better than we ever could, what do you expect anyone on this site to tell you? Only you can make the decisions and follow through to make your life livable. Strangers on the internet can not be expected to provide your answers. You have to believe in yourself.

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

You may wish to look at the Board of Nursing information for your state. There are some mental health diagnoses that can make getting licensed a lot more challenging depending on how long it has been since your last hospitalization and how compliant you have been with your treatment as well as the nature of your psychoses in the past. Those include schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder and a few others.

Your post, to be honest, sounds like you aren't as stable as you could be.

[Enarra, BSN, RN]

I think it’s completely doable I know a few nurses and medical personnel with diagnosis of schizophrenia, bipolar, depression etc when stable you go to work and if unstable you call out or use FMLA. The hard part is are you able to recognize that you are unstable therefore impaired. Have the FMLA in place before you need it. But yea each Board of nursing per state is different Check your states rules.

Also, in addition to a psychiatrist have a therapist Whom you can talk things out Regularly and keep Going to therapy even when you’re feeling good. Best of luck!

[InSchool4eva20, MSN, RN]

The above is very good advice! What I always look at is if you as the nurse is safe and is the patient safe. If you are doing every thing you can, taking your medications, going to therapy there are facilities that will work with you. You have an insight to your diagnosis that a lot of people don't have that could benefit others if and when you are ready. Your concern is very admirable! I have worked with nurses throughout the years with different diagnoses such as these and yes there were times they had to take off. I remember one incident where the nurse was manic, but we had an amazing nurse manager and the nurse came back after some time off.

[marienm, RN, CCRN]

I haven't been where you are, OP, but I do work with some nurses who have mental health diagnoses and are succeeding in their careers. One thing I would add to the advice above about having an active treatment plan/good support system/having enough insight to at least know that you *aren't* able to work on a particular day is: consider the stress level of a new RN job and how you respond to stress. You might wind up working night shift, but having orientation classes during the day (a few days apart, but still...) at a hospital. Your manager might question you why you didn't chart the vaccination history of a particularly uncooperative patient. You might have to see 30 patients a day at a clinic and keep up with all the charting. You may have co-workers who don't understand that mental health is real health (it happens a lot).

I'm not saying you can't be a nurse because of stress...it affects all of us and I get home from a busy shift and feel anxious/irritable/exhausted. I'm saying you should consider whether environmental stresses are likely to be a trigger for you and think about how you would cope with this. Some options that would work in an office (take a break in a quiet room, call your therapist, or whatever) simply aren't sustainable in a busy hospital environment but could be feasible in a clinic. With this in mind, plus some job shadowing when quarantine restrictions are lifted, maybe you'd have a better idea of what kind of nursing would be a good fit.

[CommunityRNBSN, BSN, RN]

I really agree with the people who say that a website can’t give you these answers. It sounds like you’ve spoken to your doctors about it, that’s good. Are there other people in your life who can give you honest feedback? A friend or a clergyman or a teacher? There’s no way for any of us to know how stable or how impaired you are.

[SaltyFish513]

On 6/9/2020 at 7:32 PM, CommunityRNBSN said:

I really agree with the people who say that a website can’t give you these answers. It sounds like you’ve spoken to your doctors about it, that’s good. Are there other people in your life who can give you honest feedback? A friend or a clergyman or a teacher? There’s no way for any of us to know how stable or how impaired you are.

I mean I admitted to my professor in mental health my condition, and his advice was for me to keep going. He said what mattered was a nurses heart. I am quite stable in terms of positive symptoms. In terms of negatives symptoms that is another matter. I find I struggle to find motivation.

[SarahM]

I feel like if your doctors are saying go for it, go for it girl. Don’t let your dx stop you from achieving your goals. You just have to be a little more vigilant, make sure you take your meds, confide in someone close to you that could maybe notice if you are acting differently and need to take a step back and readjust your meds or take some time off. I’d go for it girl, f your disease!

[NurseBlaq]

On 6/11/2020 at 10:05 PM, SaltyFish513 said:

I mean I admitted to my professor in mental health my condition, and his advice was for me to keep going. He said what mattered was a nurses heart. I am quite stable in terms of positive symptoms. In terms of negatives symptoms that is another matter. I find I struggle to find motivation.

My child is bipolar and when she's compliant with her medication, she's awesome at her school grades. She's in college too. However, there are times she refuses to take her meds and she's a completely different person and falls apart. I get super worried when that happens. She's upset with me now because I asked her psych doctor for injectable meds to keep her complaint. I want to see her succeed, because I know she's capable when compliant.

I said all that to say, as long as you have a support system, are compliant with your medication and plan of care, keep your appointments, you can achieve anything you wish. Don't negative speak yourself, meaning don't focus on what you think you can't do. Keep focused on what you can do and keep reminding yourself you got this. You are your greatest cheerleader. Stay positive, stay focused, keep going on your medical journey, and you will succeed.

Best of luck to you!