Is it possible to be too emotional for nursing?

momtojosh · Apr 12, 2012

hi..i am very emotional at times as well.....have been since i was a candystriper..yup..just dated myself...any ways.....if something hits me just the right way and i feel teary eyed....i cry...not bawl...but i do cry...i will go into the bathroom...have at it...wipe my tears and then i am better....i am a LPN now and i still do it....for example....i work in a home for 12 medically frail individuals...we received a new resident who tried to comit suicide when 15...he is 23 now...same age as my son....he is a vegetable....hes in there at times but mostly just stares off....the first time meeting him...i broke down...it just broke my heart....

another example is when i was going thru clinicals and did a rotation in a nursing home i cried when i saw a woman getting hoyered to her bed.....i get like that with the older people cause my own parents are both 86.....

i shouldnt say i cry...i tear up...and the tears usually end up running down my cheeks..

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Apr 12, 2012

That depends on you, OP. :)

I just keep in mind, "that which does not kill me makes me stronger". I understand what you're saying about being over-emotional, as I too have had emotional and mood issues all my life; but I was determined to be a nurse---and to succeed as one---and this has helped me to manage the emotional side of nursing.

And yes, sometimes I go into my office, close the door, and cry. Or I scream curses once I'm alone in my car and flying down the freeway. I'd go crazy if I didn't unload once in a while. (The trick is learning when and where it's OK to do it.) But, I have to say that it has gotten somewhat easier over the years, simply because I've had to deal with literally thousands of emotional patients, families, co-workers etc.

Just like it's possible to overcome an aversion to vegetables or paying taxes, you can manage, if not conquer, your tendency to become overwhelmed emotionally. It takes practice and constant vigilance, but it can be done, trust me. :)

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Apr 12, 2012

You can be emotional but you can't let it incapacitate you. There is a time for tears and time to be strong. You have to be able to swallow your emotions and bring them out later to deal with them.

I remember one Saturday afternoon.....I went out the ED door to the Sally port to have a smoke (when everybody smoked) and a car came screaming to a stop. I heard someone scream. I looked up and I saw one of our nurses covered in blood and in her arms a lifeless child....her grandchild. He had stood up underneath a table saw. All my co-worker asked (who had trained me as a new grad) was save him if you can...please.

We tried. We tried hard because we knew her. It was obvious to all that it wasn't a survivable injury. When I went out to the waiting area I could not speak, I just had tears running down my cheeks. She hugged me and thanked me and went to her grandbaby. I had to ask to be excused to have a 10 min breakdown crying jag only to be jerked back to reality by another trauma alert. I needed to think of something else. I went home and had a drink (ok couple, ok a few). I cried my self to sleep that night and woke up to my excited friend that had been trying to get pregnant for a long time....she was having twins.

You'll learn it's ok to be sad and life moves on.

FLboundBSN · Apr 12, 2012

You can be emotional but you can't let it incapacitate you. There is a time for tears and time to be strong. You have to be able to swallow your emotions and bring them out later to deal with them.
I remember one Saturday afternoon.....I went out the ED door to the Sally port to have a smoke (when everybody smoked) and a
You'll learn it's ok to be sad and life moves on.

Dear GOD! What a story, I am in tears!! I'm quite the softy and wonder the same thing about myself. I cry when I watch the news or sometimes my soap opera. I am a cryer, but I am still going to try this profession and hope that it makes me stronger. Good luck!

trb76 · Apr 12, 2012

I remember one Saturday afternoon.....I went out the ED door to the Sally port to have a smoke (when everybody smoked) and a car came screaming to a stop. I heard someone scream. I looked up and I saw one of our nurses covered in blood and in her arms a lifeless child....her grandchild. He had stood up underneath a table saw. All my co-worker asked (who had trained me as a new grad) was save him if you can...please.
We tried. We tried hard because we knew her. It was obvious to all that it wasn't a survivable injury. When I went out to the waiting area I could not speak, I just had tears running down my cheeks. She hugged me and thanked me and went to her grandbaby. I had to ask to be excused to have a 10 min breakdown crying jag only to be jerked back to reality by another trauma alert. I needed to think of something else. I went home and had a drink (ok couple, ok a few). I cried my self to sleep that night and woke up to my excited friend that had been trying to get pregnant for a long time....she was having twins.

That story broke my heart! And at the same time reinforced why I want to be a nurse! Thank you for posting something so personal and please know that your story has had a great effect on me.

Also, best of luck to your friend having (or have already had?) twins!

AmesUSA · Apr 13, 2012

Hey Emily,

I know what you mean about being too emotional. I get choked up a commercials! I think that is a quality that nurses need. And of course like others have said you learn to control yourself after time. If you need to excuse yourself for a moment go ahead...that's if you can of course. You sound like you would make a great nurse. Go for it! :)

Katie71275 · Apr 13, 2012

Well heck, I just cried thinking about that poor baby and the table saw

Im very emotional, I an extremely sensitive to people and their hurts. Personally I think that's what makes you a good nurse. You can empathize and sympathize! BUT you have to know when to rein it in. I do think that you will get used to it somewhat.

In my previous job(child protection), things could get VERY emotional, but I learned how to rein it in and that has really helped me as a student.

PMFB-RN, RN · Apr 13, 2012

yes some people are too emotional for nursing. i have observed highly emotional nurses panic in critical situations. also seen highly emotional nurses leave nursing after seeing something horrific (like esme12's story). also very emotional people sometimes have a difficult time thinking clearly and objectivly about certain things. i suggest you become a cna and get some experience before you choose nursing. as for:

" i also want to make sure that i choose a career that will always be in demand no matter where i go, and has a decent salary."

you won't get that with nursing. nurses are not in demand and the salary isn't very good considering the education investment.

Vespertinas · Apr 13, 2012

I'm the biggest crier I know. I get red-eyed if I feel I've made a "connection" with a difficult patient. I can't stop it, it's the hormones!! (i.e. orthotricyclen-lo)

E.niles · Apr 13, 2012

Aren't tears pretty close chemically to NS anyway? A nurse without emotions is probably burned out anyway. You can learn how to control your emotions and release them at the appropriate time. Most importantly of all not all emotions are negative and for every unpleasant experience there will always be that patient who recovers or overcomes or delivers to make you smile.

applewhitern, BSN, RN · Apr 13, 2012

I agree that you won't find nursing to be "always in demand" nor that it has "a decent salary." People tend to get "medical field" and "nursing field" mixed up. They are two separate careers. (Doctors are in medicine; nurses are in nursing.) That aside, I agree that you should try being a CNA or the equivalent first. Nurses have to be a "rock" in the midst of chaos, pain, and suffering. It is fine to cry after an unsuccessful code, etc., but you must be totally together yourself in order to help those in need.