Is it illegal to date a patient's family member (parent)?

Nurses General Nursing

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Started working home health recently and I don't know if it's illegal to date your patient's parents. Obviously, if we were to date or have any relations, it would be outside of working hours when I am not on duty. I feel like their mother is coming onto me and I was just curious about the situation. 

I work part time PRN at home health so I don't care if I lose my job/get fired; I just don't want my license to be affected.

Specializes in Oncology.

Illegal no, but unethical yes. Not a risk that I would take.

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Specializes in Physiology, CM, consulting, nsg edu, LNC, COB.

It's not illegal, as in, against an actual law, but as you already know by having asked the question, it's unadvisable. Sure you can meet somebody attractive at work — I had a friend who ended up marrying the son of one of our ICU patients, having met him at visiting hours— but they did the right thing and didn't date until a few months after the mom was out of the hospital entirely.

You say the mom is "coming on to you,” and that's possible, of course. But don't you even think about responding, much less asking her out. If she makes an actual move, tell her the truth: it's not considered ethical to date a patient or family member while in a caregiver role because the possibility of abuse, power imbalance, preferential treatment, or other things which could be misinterpreted will just make it impossible.

After your assignment is over and you no longer are involved in this case, give it a few months and see if you are still interested. I'm betting if you call her then she won't remember your name. Even if she does, and the attraction remains mutual, you can decide on your next step then. But not before. 

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Specializes in School Nursing.

You might be interested in watching this video on boundary crossing...

 https://www.NCSBN.org/video/professional-boundaries-in-nursing

I used it in my CNA classes when I taught them. 

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

Call it old age, call it a decrease in hormonal activity, or just been down that road before, there's a certain clarity that comes with time and experience.

Some of the best learning experiences I've had in life was when I went against the established mores and norms and threw caution to the wind.

Now I've been extremely fortunate in my career and lifetime and am certainly not advising anyone to act or behave outside of well-established rules if we want to I've a safe life. But in my old age, I feel like a person of integrity and have great memories because I did what I wanted to do in spite of the advice of others, avoided maliciously hurting anyone else, and had one hell of a good ride.

In summary, if we want to lead a safe life, follow the mainstream rules of others. But if we want to live a life full of rich experiences, we blaze our own trail, knowing that there will be sticker bushes, sinkholes, and quicksand along the way.

 

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Specializes in Justice ⚖️ Nursing.
Rose_Queen said:

Illegal? Probably not.

Unethical? Absolutely. Could land in hot water with both employer and BON, depending on if they reference moral turpitude when it comes to licenses and discipline.

carti said:
Is it illegal to date a patient's family member (parent)?

Started working home health recently and I don't know if it's illegal to date your patient's parents. Obviously, if we were to date or have any relations, it would be outside of working hours when I am not on duty. I feel like their mother is coming onto me and I was just curious about the situation. 

I work part time PRN at home health so I don't care if I lose my job/get fired; I just don't want my license to be affected.

As of the past couple years BONs are no longer allowed to use moral turbitude as a basis for discipline. I'm pretty sure this goes across all states but I'd make sure if I were you that it in no way will affect your license and career. I probably wouldn't call and ask the BON though LOL. 

Best of luck!

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Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
Rose_Queen said:

Illegal? Probably not.

Unethical? Absolutely. Could land in hot water with both employer and BON, depending on if they reference moral turpitude when it comes to licenses and discipline.

What we are talking about is a breach of professional boundaries. The described scenario would not meet the definition of Moral Turpitude.

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I don't see anything wrong in this inasmuch as they are not playing romances while at work... however it may seems unethical and unprofessional. 

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Specializes in OB-Gyn/Primary Care/Ambulatory Leadership.
Davey Do said:

Call it old age, call it a decrease in hormonal activity, or just been down that road before, there's a certain clarity that comes with time and experience.

Some of the best learning experiences I've had in life was when I went against the established mores and norms and threw caution to the wind.

Now I've been extremely fortunate in my career and lifetime and am certainly not advising anyone to act or behave outside of well-established rules if we want to I've a safe life. But in my old age, I feel like a person of integrity and have great memories because I did what I wanted to do in spite of the advice of others, avoided maliciously hurting anyone else, and had one hell of a good ride.

In summary, if we want to lead a safe life, follow the mainstream rules of others. But if we want to live a life full of rich experiences, we blaze our own trail, knowing that there will be sticker bushes, sinkholes, and quicksand along the way.

Huh? So are you telling the OP that he should go ahead and date his patient's mother?

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

Joseph Campbell said something along the lines of, "The consciousness is changed through trials & tribulations resulting in subsequent illuminating revelations".

We often cause those trials and tribulations for ourselves in order to create an arena to work out unresolved issues. Richard Bach wrote, "There is no problem without the gift of a solution in our hands".

Mr. Bach also wrote, "We teach best what we most need to learn".

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Specializes in OB-Gyn/Primary Care/Ambulatory Leadership.

I have no idea what you are trying to say

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

On your off time get a cab and go down to the local tavern. Plenty of dates.

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Specializes in Nursing.
carti said:
Is it illegal to date a patient's family member (parent)?

Started working home health recently and I don't know if it's illegal to date your patient's parents. Obviously, if we were to date or have any relations, it would be outside of working hours when I am not on duty. I feel like their mother is coming onto me and I was just curious about the situation. 

I work part time PRN at home health so I don't care if I lose my job/get fired; I just don't want my license to be affected.

Why would you risk it?  If the job doesn't matter then quit the job and then date the person.

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