Is the ICU for me?

Specialties MICU

Published

  1. Should I stay in ICU? (just an opinion! I probably will anyway :))

    • 13
      Just stay, you will gain invaluable experience!
    • 21
      wait 6 more months and see how you feel..
    • 0
      maybe it is time to look for something else
    • 1
      run! no job is worth being miserable over!

35 members have participated

Hey all! I started working in the MICU as a new grad 5 months ago. Lucky me, I am still in orientation (was supposed to be 4 months but I got a little time added on because I was so "new"). Man oh man, has this just been an up and down roller coaster for me. I am 2 weeks away from becoming a grown up nurse and being on my own. I have never felt so nervous in my life. I know more time will not help me. If I stayed in orientation until I felt 100% ready and confident, I'd never get out of it. I so badly want to be on my own to see if that is what makes me feel better, but yet I dread not having constant support over my shoulder. I don't know how to describe it, but I will do my best!

So here is what I love about critical care nursing so far: learning far more about human physiology than I ever thought possible, having autonomy in decisions, 2 patient load, (but intense 2 patient load), being on the code team (!!!), knowing I am getting awesome experience and will be able to do a lot with it, and being able to call myself an ICU nurse ;).

Now...this is what I hate: I second guess everything I do..and I mean everything, some of the nurses I work with are real a$$holes (pardon my language), I cry on my way home and a day and a half before I have to go back, The most trivial things get me all worked up...like not knowing all the paperwork that accompanies a transfer to another facility, a lot of these doctors are real a$$holes too, did I mention the nurses are too? I think I hate night shift, I'm pretty sure I have an ulcer from feeling so stressed out all the time, I feel inadequate more than I feel confident.

Now I am not a dumb person. I did well in school and I love learning new things on my OWN time. I love to be able to focus on the why and how of things. I get so amped up during codes and love the feeling of teamwork. So I know it is not JUST that I am not cut out for ICU, it has to be something more than that...or maybe not.

As you can see my hate list is longer :( I don't know what to think anymore. I feel so out of it. You know what it feels like? It feels the same way it did when I came home as a first time mother. Excitement, but mostly nervousness, second guessing, emotional basketcase-itis, and total sleep deprivation. It is hard to impossible excited to go to work. People tell me this is normal, but it is just so hard to believe them. I cry way too much over my job. I love it, but I'm so scared to screw up. I don't even know if I want people to tell me to find another area or to stick it out. I am so confused. I know this is really long and don't blame you if you left at my hate list, but if anyone has some words of wisdom, I am eagerly awaiting. I just started nights, I am taking BSN classes, have two young kids, and a husband that works 50+ hours. I am so overwhelmed. I am so depressed...Help make me feel better about myself, lol!

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Specializes in MICU - CCRN, IR, Vascular Surgery.

You're never going to feel 100% ready to come off of orientation. How is the teamwork on your unit? Do you have other nurses that you feel comfortable taking your questions to? If you've never dealt with the paperwork to transfer someone to another hospital? That's okay, you can ask someone about it! I've been a nurse for 2 years now, I've transferred a patient to a different facility once, I'd have no idea how to do that. But I know who to ask for help. If you asked me to discharge someone, I wouldn't have the first idea of what to do. Those things scared me until I realized that it's okay to not know everything.

When I was a brand new grad, I was just like you, absolutely terrified of what might happen when I got to work. After a few months on my own, things started to get better. When I transferred to the ICU I had to start all over again, but this time things felt more "high stakes" so I felt like I didn't know anything again. The first few weeks off of ICU orientation, I felt like I was second guessing everything. I've been in the ICU a year now and I still ask a lot of questions (and the new ICU nurses that DON'T ask questions, they're the scary ones!!) but I'm seeing stuff coming together. Now I look forward to going to work, and I hope every night to get a trainwreck admission where I get to do a lot of procedures. The few nights I've had those, it's been very stressful, but I've felt good after clocking out, and really felt like I accomplished something.

I'm taking classes right now too, and it does get very tiring. It doesn't sound like you have very much time for yourself, and I think it would be a big benefit if you had even just like an hour or two a week where you could just chill out and read a non nursing book or magazine and just relax. It will get better, I promise! It takes at least 2 years in the ICU to feel like you've got your feet under you. In 6 months when you look back on where you are right now, you'll be amazed. If you told me when I was about to come off of orientation as a BRAND new nurse, I'd never have believed you.

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I could of written this post myself. When I was a new grad I started out in CVICU. I loved and hated for all the reasons you listed. I left after 9 months. I couldn't take the stress, high acuity and walking on eggshells. I also worked in a toxic work environment. ICU (some) nurses are known to have that inferiority complex type attitude. So I left, and eventually ended up on mother/baby unit. I love this job!

I say, give it a little more time but keep an open heart and mind. Once you get over the whole " I'm a ICU nurse" thing, then you can make a decision. At first I loved telling people that I was an ICU nurse, but then I felt less proud because this ICU nurse was bullied, given unsafe assignments and cried every night on the way home.

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How was your preceptorship? I had a 2 month preceptorship in a very high acuity ICU and just have finished my first week on my own. I would have been completely lost if I had not had a really good preceptor. I feel overwhelmed daily, but I pray to do no harm and I try to take the best care of the patients as I can. I think in time it gets better. I don't feel safe yet, but I ask a lot of questions whenever I'm unsure of anything.

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Thank you for your words of encouragement, everyone. We do have a good team in my unit on night shift. It is just so hard to tell if I would be happier somewhere else. But, I guess the only way to tell is to just keep going at it and give it some time. I always loved labor and delivery and hospice. I think part of me would be so upset if this didn't work out, because it means that I failed at it. I do appreciate all the nice things you guys have to say, this website is so encouraging especially for new nurses

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I was exactly like you as a new grad ICU nurse. It may take a year to start feeling really comfortable and two years until you are feel prepared to handle anything that rolls through the door. When I came off orientation as a new grad I felt like I didn't know a thing. Hang in there. It will get better. Just make sure to identify those experienced nurses that will serve as resources and ask questions if you are ever in doubt.

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I transferred to ICU about 6 months ago after working med-surg for 13+ years. One of the reasons I want to go back to med-surg is the "I'm an ICU nurse" attitude that I see so much of. The love of being able to say I'm an ICU nurse is what seems to draw in a lot of the young, new grads. The superiority that permeates the air in the unit is far more than I can stomach and it isn't even superiority over me any longer, just in general. Too much arrogance, there are some really nice people too, don't get me wrong. I for one am heading back to medicine asap.

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I came off my orientation in the ICU about 6 weeks ago, and I have to say that work has been so much better since I got off orientation. During my orientation, my preceptors frequently encouraged (aka insisted) that I take the sickest patients every shift. I frequently rotated between preceptors, and of course each one had some sort of critique or advice regarding the way that I managed my patient care. Towards the end of my preceptorship I was terrified, I left almost every shift feeling like an awful nurse, and I second guessed my decision regularly. I even started looking for other open positions because I was convinced that I was going to be fired for being an inept nurse.

Once I was off orientation my job suddenly felt so much easier. I was able to manage my patient care and time management in a way that worked best for me without other people critiquing a different aspect each shift, I was able to choose my patient load, and actually feel like it was balanced across the unit, and nobody told me that I should trade patients to take the new admit at 4 AM for the experience, etc.

I still have stressful and busy shifts, I still end up having crazy end of shifts transfers and admits, and there are still days that I go home and feel like crying, but overall I am really happy with my job. Remember that nobody expects you to know everything even once you are off orientation, you can always grab a more experienced nurse if you feel like your patient is declining and you need an extra pair of hands, or if you need to run your ideas past somebody before calling the physician. I encourage you to give it at least a few months on your own.

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Being in the ICU, you will have a ton of things to learn. In the ICU I work in there are some stellar nurses with years and years of experience and compared to them sometimes I feel like I have so much more to learn. One thing that has helped me is this awesome website...icufaqs.org. The website was made by an ICU nurse with 20 years of experience and he breaks down in easy to understand terms some things I thought were complicated. Every day you continue to learn and grow in your experience so don't be so hard on yourself. You will be amazed how much you can learn in a year!!!

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You guys have all been so immensely helpful! I really do think that I am able to make it as an ICU nurse, I guess it's just normal, and maybe a little good, that I am so nervous. And I don't want to just be a critical care nurse for the sake of saying it. I love the title that it carries because I know that someone is so ... delicate... And I can make a difference for them instead of rushing around to pass meds on 6-8 patients. The pride of saying that you are critical care nurse means that you actually get to explore your patients diagnoses, and take the time to focus on what is going on and how you can make it better. Doctors give you just a tiny bit more respect. It really feels like I'm using all of the knowledge I gained in school plus a TON more. So, no, it is not just being able to call myself a critical care nurse. The title is about what you make it. I really can't thank you all enough for all of your kind words. I will remember them when I am on my own in a week and a half!!

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I felt the same way as you do... I was transferred from med surg unit to icu almost a yr ago. I also felt dumb at that time and also it was too overwhelming to see lots of machines and understanding different vent settings. But i told to myself I CAN DO IT... During my free hours ar home i read about care for crtically ill pts ecg ventilators and etc... And now i can say i am a good icu nurse... Just believe in yourself and do what u think is right and always be positive

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Specializes in TELE, CVU, ICU.

I so feel you. I graduated in 2003 but after I got my BSN I went to the SICU, so i am a "new" nurse all over again.

Cons: constant anxiety and stress, produce or perish, task oriented, toxic work environment. ICU nurses: A$$holes. Doctors (esp surgeons, esp cv surgeons): A$$holes. Do not apologize for language. the sheer amout of BS we have to put up with is unfathomable for most people. Mother Teresa would be cussing like a sailor if she had to deal with this stuff.

OTOH: learning by doing, saving a life, making a difference for just one desperately frightened family member, there is always more to learn, do, achieve, and that is why we are overwhelmed. I have been looking elsewhere, trust me. I even went back to school for my Masters, so i could fix the broken system.

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