First of all, after reading the entire thread, I can say with some confidence that you are being hazed. From what I understand this is relatively common in nursing (it is where the nurses eat their young stereotype comes from) and it is unacceptable. It happened to me as a new grad on a tele floor (six patients max, usually five, until mandatory ratios kicked in), it happened to me when I was new on a stepdown unit (three patients max) and it happened to me when I was new in ICU (two patients max). I mention the ratios so you understand that you are not only dealing with being hazed as a new nurse, but an untenable workload exists for all the nurses on your unit. This is part of the reason they are bullying you. It is called oppressed group syndrome.
Having said that, I wanted to address something nobody else has brought up:
You state that your husband's job precludes a night shift position. Why? Are you being expected to care for your children while he is at work? And he cannot care for them while you work because of his work? Why is your job and career on the back burner here?
Secondly, why did you move to be closer to your husband's family? What about your family? What about your career? If they are so close why can they not chip in and take care of the kids while you are working or sleeping? If they are not going to help you why do you need to be close to them? Move to where the good work is. Five hours is not that long of a commute for holidays and the occasional family gathering.
Basically I feel there is more to this story that is causing you undue stress as you embark on a new career. You stated that your husband supported you through nursing school. Well, good for him. You don't owe him anything for that. Now he can support you in your career. That support should not disappear because you graduated. Nursing school is a significant investment and so is nursing. Unless he is making $100K/year at his job he needs to support you 110% and rearrange his schedule as necessary. He should also be willing to move to where the good nursing jobs are. You previously said you moved a lot for his job, well, now it's his turn to move for your career.
I am not mentioning this kind of dedication on your husband's part is necessary out of feminist indignation (although there is that too) but because if you are going to make a career out of this you will have to go back to school. Over and over again. You will be at conferences, in other states, lasting from anywhere from a few days to a week. You will be changing jobs. The initial time and money investment that you both took on when you started nursing school does not evaporate. It is a continual process. Your career needs to come first. Period. That is how you make manager, director, CNO, etc. Your perfectionism means that this is where you are going. Anything less would leave you unsatisfied.
You need to come first. You cannot do your job unless you are the priority.