how to be invisible in nursing

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Hello All! Question:

How is it possible to be the invisible nurse? How is one to support peers, help out others when the obvious is seen, be a big advocate for patients, and serve on committees while being invisible? It seems that these aforementioned acts creates high visibility for the RN opening her up to lots of critisism and catty stuff from co-workers. I did all these things at my previous job which seemed to open me up to lots of negativity!!! EVen though I was trying to help the hospital with positive change! Believe me as well, I have scoured my attitudes and tone and have found no grounds for being a target of negative cattiness.....negative cattiness can ruin one's carreer.

I have seen very mousy RNs who do not ask if they can help , do none of the things mentioned above....yet seem to float through every shift without any kind of criticism or conflict. they don't do much more than is bare bones expected...and if they make an error, no one notices or complains about it...maybe because they are so non-threatening? In fact, I have been told by older nurses (who've been in nursing for 20plus years); that the best way to avoid any kind of trouble is to keep your head down and be invisible. That just seems the oppostite of what RNs should be doing. Humble, yes...but.....head DOWN?????? I believe in standing up straight and being strong! For me anyway. One can still be strong of self and humble at the same time!

I ask because I have started a new position in a hospital with only the best of intentions, not involving myself in personal catty stuff I see going on...I just try to support my co-workers...help when needed....cover a shift or two for someone when they need the time off. One night an RN got into a shouting match with the tech...I just asked them to quiet down...( 0200)....geez....then in the med room, just listened to the RN blow off steam....NOT commenting on anything! The next week, find out I was somehow involved as the manager told me that this RN had said I AGREED with whatever beef she had with this tech. I DO NOT WANT THIS TO EVER HAPPEN AGAIN. I get along with everyone here and want to keep it this way. Geez, I'm on my 90 days and want to keep my job. HOW DO YOU AVOID THIS STUFF!!!! Yuck! thanks all......blessings......

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Specializes in Infectious Disease, Neuro, Research.
The next week, find out I was somehow involved as the manager told me that this RN had said I AGREED with whatever beef she had with this tech.

Unfortunately, unavoidable, unless you have a well established rep as peer to all, "friend" to none. If you really are bold;), I would suggest talking with the RN, and politely coveying that, "Points A, B, and C were valid, but I did not agree with D, and having a shouting match is not an effective resolution..."

It will either earn you a significant amount of respect, or a committed enemy.

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Specializes in CVICU, Neuro ICU, ED.

I'm a nurse of 34 years and I've learned the hard way. After years of trying to be the perfect employee, the best nurse I've given it up. I keep my head down, I don't get involved in anything that isn't mandatory and I don't get into altercations with anybody. It's a hard lesson I had to learn. The employers don't care. Over the years I've seen the best of the best laid off, fired, turfed to other areas and generally riffed. The nurses who are still around are the quiet ones who just do their job. Sorry to sound so non-supportive but with hospitals it's all about the bottom line and the best way to survive is to be anonymous.

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Specializes in LTC, Med-SURG,STICU.

There is no way to avoid all of the cattiness. It is just there to some extent at every job I have ever had. You can avoid most of it by ignoring the gossip. My method is just walking away when my co-workers start talking about other co-workers. I am silently saying that I will not listen to gossip. I feel that this makes me a strong person because I refuse to participate in that kind of behavior.

I am sure some people talk about me, but I do not care and they know it. I am friendly and helpful and I do not go out with the girls when invited because I do not want to open myself up for that kind of gossip.

Basically, the best advice that I can offer is to hold your head up and keep you ears and eyes open and your mouth shut. Do not participate in the gossip. Do not become overly close to anyone person or group. Be helpful when needed. Remember you are there for the pts. Last but not least, yes they will talk, but try your best not to care. I always tell people if you are going to talk about me at least make it good because my life is very boring.

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Specializes in LTC, Med-Surge, Ortho.

Unfortunately, cattiness and backbiting is sooooo prevalent in nursing:uhoh3:. I just started at a new facility less than two months ago, and already one nurse talked about a supervisor so negatively and I did not say one word to feed into it. Although this certain supervisor has really wrecked my nerves in the short time I've been there. So, this same supervisor has complemented me about doing very well in the short time i have been there, but then, turns around and tells me that other nurses are complaining about me behind my back. This same supervisor asked me to swear like at least 10 times that i would not say anything, consequently; she ruined my whole night. To top it off, this same supervisor asked me if it was ok to complain on my behalf to the DON about other nurses leaving things for me to do and had a nerve to say that she may have to lie a little to make it seem worse than what it is. I was appauled as i respectfully told her that i had a mouth and if i see the need to address things then i would without her assistance. Already when i know that i have to work with her, my skin crawls. So i made up my mind that if she comes to me with anymore foolishness than i will tell her that i will report her. I feel that we as nurses are all in this together, so why should we continue to allow backbiting and cattiness to dictate the atmosphere that we must work in.:nurse:

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Specializes in Infectious Disease, Neuro, Research.

Here's a good (and helpful) read:

http://www.amazon.com/Predictably-Irrational-Hidden-Forces-Decisions/dp/006135323X

and here's Ariely's blog:

http://danariely.com/

I think you'll find his most recent entry, "Why We Overvalue What We Make", to be applicable to the situation you experienced.

His field of study is the psychology of economics. If you recognize that economics isn't just about money, but about trade, barter, exchange, and leverage, his principles are excellent behavioral psych tools. If you understand an opponent's motivation(s) you may better understand how to redirect, circumvent or placate the opponent. Being quiet is useless if you're sitting on your duff. If you use "quiet" to collect information from others and to formulate plans, I suspect you'll feel much more fulfilled. ;)

There are several other good authors, under the very general descriptor of survivors' psychology, and how adverse situations are navigated.

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Specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Prof Practice.

I say chug on! Keep doing well, keep striving, and keep raising the bar for others at your work. Some environments you just have to turn your back on the witches and show them it isn't going to stop you.

Strive to change the system, not hide within it.

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Invisibility?

It helps to work nights and a lot of weekends.

The manager will barely recognize you when you come in for the yearly evaluation.

It helps if you keep controversial aspects of your personal life private. Nurses who reveal too much give the catty nurses ammunition.

Do not gossip about your coworkers, and when the gossip gets juicy at the nursing station, suddenly find something you need to do elsewhere.

If you are in a visible position and trying to enact change (however positive) expect a certain amount of criticism.

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Specializes in peds, psych.

Lol I find it so amazinggggggggggg that nurses constantly ***** and complain they have no time, no time, no time, yet they can find endless supplies of it to gossip and stir the pots, big people talk about ideas and possibilities, small people talk about other people.

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Specializes in CVICU, Obs/Gyn, Derm, NICU.

If you are in a visible position and trying to enact change (however positive) expect a certain amount of criticism.

Yes sadly that's the situation for many nurses

Sitting on the fence is what a lot of my coworkers do - it helps them to stay invisible

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Lol I find it so amazinggggggggggg that nurses constantly ***** and complain they have no time, no time, no time, yet they can find endless supplies of it to gossip and stir the pots, big people talk about ideas and possibilities, small people talk about other people.

there is a lot of redundant work you can basically do with your eyes close, thats when the gossip really starts...and everything needs to get done.

and about the post ..... if you want to be a floor nurse then be invisible its the best way to avoid problems, specially if you work for a non union hospital. if you work for a union then let your voice be heard with union events, not at your work place

no need to hold you head down.... just learn when to pick your battles. its a pecking order! dont fight fights you cant win. its sad but I will say it , your not gonna change anything.

non union get in good with one of the managers and work your way up the latter once your in management you can basically do no wrong....

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I have found it nearly impossible. I'm the type that likes to go in, do my job, and go home. But sometimes no matter how much you try and avoid the gossip/bs...it has a way of finding you....i just walk away if i hear people start to gossip...dont take the bait

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