Interesting blog Describes view from family's eyes

Batman25 · Dec 11, 2009

Great post Virgo.

cherrybreeze, ADN, RN · Dec 11, 2009

Virgo, you are my hero. :heartbeat

Don't forget to add getting reprimanded by your employer for not only staying too long past the end of your shift, but for not seeing to the needs of ANY of your patients quickly enough!

AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN · Dec 11, 2009

Virgo, I'm grinding my teeth just from reading Part One! Very nicely done!

Purple_Scrubs, BSN, RN · Dec 11, 2009

Someone should post a link to this thread on the blog. The family really needs to hear how they are coming off to the nursing staff.

Virgo, you are my hero!

AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN · Dec 11, 2009

Nah, they'd just remove it, like they are other comments.

southernbeegirl, BSN, RN · Dec 11, 2009

I wish them no ill will at all. But I wish they would read this thread with an open mind to see what they are putting the staff through. Not because of the staff but because of Kevin. If they would work WITH the staff instead of against them, Kevin would get much better care and the family would get so much support from the nursing staff that they probably wish they could give them but can't because of the family's attitude towards the staff. Maybe they would realize that their actions and constant criticism of the staff and their abilities is doing nothing but alienating Kevin AND them.

ya know...how would other people like it if WE went to their place of employment and sat and scrutinized every single thing they did or did not do? how would other people like it if WE watched the clock and complained when they didn't get EVERYTHING perfectly done and on time?

what gives people, especially people with NO medical background, the right to think they can sit there and judge our work performance? who do people think they are these days? what happened to being grateful that someone cares and wants to help take care of them or their loved ones? what happened to respecting the medical staff INCLUDING the nurses instead of EXCLUDING us?

statements like (paraphrasing here) "benadryl makes me sleepy so i'm sure he will be knocked out soon". granted that is a common side effect of benadryl and most of the world knows that but don't we all get the "well i took xyz antibiotic and it worked for me so dont you think it would work for them?" or the "well, xyz pain medication makes me nauseated so don't give it to my loved one because they might get nauseated too", or the "i want you to give my loved one pain medicine, i dont want them to hurt, but dont give them enuf to make them sleepy because i still want to be able to talk to them".....all these types of statements frustrate me to no end!

no longer is it what is best for the PATIENT! it's about what the family thinks is best for THEM!

i agree with the poster that said give them 36 hours at home with him. maybe...just maybe, then they will realize what great care he got and how hard it is to take care of ONE patient, let alone eight or nine at the same time!

and before you ask...yep, i live in a dream world. my husband calls it "beegirlworld". in beegirlworld there are NO family members! :yeah:

cherrybreeze, ADN, RN · Dec 11, 2009

we've been requesting a pulmonologist since monday. kevin has been having so many coughing bouts and throwing up, etc... that we wanted to have one of the pulmonologists see him. finally, tonight, the pulmonologist came in. this was after i went to the charge nurse and told her that this was becoming a 'delay in care' issue. it's interesting, if you know the right phrases, how quickly they will fulfill your needs.

this is the kind of stuff that angers me. they don't trust that the people with medical knowledge and education know what is best for the patient. they threaten in order to get things done. in another post, they honestly think it's a "conspiracy theory" to get them out of there.........c'mon now. really? take a step back, people!

i feel worse and worse for this poor patient and everything he is going through. i have no doubt it is heartbreaking for the family, but man......

tewdles, RN · Dec 11, 2009

If I am not mistaken, this young man (kevin) is in a specialty hospital which I presume cares primarily for long term but complicated patients. There are plans underway for the family to transition him into the home setting. It is inexcusable that the management of the facility is allowing this to continue as it serves NOBODY well. Virgo wrote an excellent piece that is probably reasonably accurate (thats why we all LOVE it). The scenario should, however, reflect the nurse checking on this patient periodically and supporting, supervising, and teaching the family in the hourly care that Kevin requires. By the by...what eye ointment could he possibly require hourly rather than Q2 hr?

southernbeegirl, BSN, RN · Dec 11, 2009

i wonder if the nursing staff has thought about calling the doc that ordered that stuff every hour and asking for a different order? i'd like to know what med it is myself. and as a nurse, i'd like to kick the doc in the knee for ordering something so ridiculous! shoot, yall hold him and i'll kick him in BOTH knees, lol.

how are they going to give that med at home anyway? that would require TWO caregivers at all times in the home or else someone is going to get no sleep from making sure those eye meds are in EXACTLY every hour.

in keeping with my cold heartedness....i'd soooo love to be a snickering fly on the wall at THAT house when they get him home.

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Dec 11, 2009

If I am not mistaken, this young man (kevin) is in a specialty hospital which I presume cares primarily for long term but complicated patients. There are plans underway for the family to transition him into the home setting. It is inexcusable that the management of the facility is allowing this to continue as it serves NOBODY well. Virgo wrote an excellent piece that is probably reasonably accurate (thats why we all LOVE it). The scenario should, however, reflect the nurse checking on this patient periodically and supporting, supervising, and teaching the family in the hourly care that Kevin requires. By the by...what eye ointment could he possibly require hourly rather than Q2 hr?

Thank you, all.:redbeathe

Tewdles, I don't know what eye ointment was ordered. In real life, I would certainly have left a communication for the hospitalist regarding the frequency of the dose. This is not something I'd feel justified in paging for on second shift, and the hospitalists typically round on first shift, so I'd be sure to make my note stand out somehow so the doc couldn't miss it. Honestly, I think the nurse who is on when the doc rounds is the one who should get the order changed, but I understand how quickly some docs are in and out, and that if you're in a room providing care, they could come and go an you would never know it. I think after enough shifts of this, I'd probably just page whoever is on and deal with their irritation on being paged over eye ointment. There is also the chance that the doctor would refuse to change the order.

There is nothing wrong with showing the family members how to give the eye ointment, and to allow the family members to do it under supervision once they've been taught, but at my facility, we are not allowed to leave ANY medication at the bedside. Not even eye ointment. We'd still have to keep the ointment under lock and key, and go in there every hour to take it out and hand it to a family member to give. If I were to bend the rules on my shift and go ahead and leave the ointment at the bedside, checking in every so often to make sure the family is doing okay with this, then every nurse down the line would have to decide whether or not they are willing to bend the rules, and this does not sound like the kind of family that would tolerate that kind of "inconsistency".

I would love to add on to the story, but I have to get ready for work now! :jester:

southernbeegirl, BSN, RN · Dec 11, 2009

we've been requesting a pulmonologist since monday. kevin has been having so many coughing bouts and throwing up, etc... that we wanted to have one of the pulmonologists see him. finally, tonight, the pulmonologist came in. this was after i went to the charge nurse and told her that this was becoming a 'delay in care' issue. it's interesting, if you know the right phrases, how quickly they will fulfill your needs.
this is the kind of stuff that angers me. they don't trust that the people with medical knowledge and education know what is best for the patient. they threaten in order to get things done. in another post, they honestly think it's a "conspiracy theory" to get them out of there.........c'mon now. really? take a step back, people!
i feel worse and worse for this poor patient and everything he is going through. i have no doubt it is heartbreaking for the family, but man......

i've got a pt right now in rehab after multiple, multiple bouts of pneumonia from aspiration. the daughter second guesses everything and anything, including diagnoses from the doctors at the hospital. after this last, real bad, bout of pneumonia, she got herself a nice little case of encephalopathy. the daughter went ballistic when she saw that in the chart and started demanding to know how she got it and what gave the doctors the right to diagnose that when it wasnt true. i have talked and talked to her for a while now about how each bout of pneumonia is different and her condition is going to start declining, it's inevitable. but this time when i talked to her about it and told her that the doctors didn't just pull that diagnosis out of thin air, if they did they'd go to jail for medical fraud, insurance fraud, she got sooo angry with me that she wont even speak with me now. she's demanding that our facility send her back to the hospital for a ct scan, which we would have to pay for as she is snf/mcr. she says she wont be satisfied until she gets that ct scan.

i turned the whole thing over to the admin and don. i havent been at work all week but i'm dying to know what they did about this. honestly, i wouldnt be suprised if they dont pay for the ct scan. i mean after all...what if the daughter, with no medical background, is right and all us stoopid medical professionals, especially the doctors, are wrong. wouldnt want a lawsuit now would we?

what ever happened to just saying "look, this is the diagnosis. no matter which way you turn it, it aint gonna change." but instead of helping them accept the truth, we feed their continued denial.

ugh, sorry....got on a rant again....

Batman25 · Dec 11, 2009

I feel terrible that the family is going through such a tragedy. So sad for a young man to suffer such devastating injuries. I do wish his privacy was protected by the family more. I see no reason to be sharing every BM with the world but that's me.

Boundaries shiuld have been drawn with this family a long time ago. Nine people in a room is disruptive and unacceptable. Take turns and let others get rest. And inform them that he isn't getting 1-on-1 care. That isn't what is being offered by this facility nor is it what his insurance is paying for. They should also try and train the family on some things they could take over even if they are reluctant to do so. This doesn't just help the staff but it helps the family have some control whcih is what they are missing. They could feel more involved. have none.

The patient and family have gone through a terrible ordeal and he's had a really rough run of luck. I would think of getting someone with grief training in to speak with them before they become completely undone. They don't sound emotionally or physically prepared for what is ahead.