I'm starting to change as a person. Is this what nursing is like?

sparky99 · Apr 23, 2009

Summersent (what a nice name!)

I'm just finishing up pre-reqs now so I can't offer any advice, just want to wish you well and hope things start going better for you. I have learned through experience that a job can change you, but once you recognize that you can apply your mind to changing for the better rather than the worse :specs: Good luck!

oramar · Apr 23, 2009

I don't usually see these kind of complaints in a nursing student, even one that is close to graduating. Usually new nurses are off orientation and on their own when we start to see post like this. I do not advise you to get out at this point. You have put in so much work and are so close. Yes there are a lot of things about bedside nursing that are not so nice. Nursing is not what a lot of people expect. Though there are places where nurses are treated better and new nurses have better experiences. It is time for you to look into a good nurse internship program where you will be gradually introduced to the hard realities of bedside nursing. Maybe take a nice vacation when you finish before you jump into the deep end of the pool.

ohmeowzer RN, RN · Apr 23, 2009

you sound like a very nice person who is seeing life in a different light than you saw it before..... Nursing as a whole changes us all, you see people and "things " that you never see in daily life. you see suffering, neglect and people at their worst..... yes you have to get a thick skin, but you still keep your empathy towards your pateints. you have to distance yourself from patients to take care of them ..... that is why you don't take care of your own family because you are emotionally involved.

we all handle situations differently, we all see things in our own way. you made a mistake you are only human. you were reminded by this mistake to double check your 5 rights before giving anything.

nursing is a tough business, mentally and physical, it will take your last bit of energy.... some of these patients will take all you have to take care of them, they drain the life out of you. but in the end it is rewarding.

don't give up your dream , stick to it. i'm sure you will get alot of great responses. keep me posted on how you are doing !!

Scrubby · Apr 23, 2009

Yes it is a rude awakening when you realise that some patients treat nurses as maids, nurses aren't given enough time to do everything and it is hard and tiring work. It is NOT glamorous and being in hospital and unwell can really bring out the worse in some people

I reached a point like you described where I stopped caring about people and I just wanted to do my work and go home, didn't want to listen to patients and their families. I think that in some ways nurses do need to have some sort of barrier and be on their guard, otherwise if we cared too much we would become emotionally burned out, we would spent far too much time worrying about every patients little problem and forget the bigger picture. I'm not saying we shouldn't care at all and we should ignore people but we can't get too involved.

My attitude on nursing after 3 and a half years is that it's about trying to do the best job you can, with what little time, resources and respect you get. If I get a patient who is rude to me well I dont' really care. I'm there to do a job, I'll do the best I can by the patient whether they acknowledge me or not and that's what keeps me going.

You will be put in tough situations. It's hard and the only advice I can give you on this one is to try and see each situation as a learning opportunity. If things get too hard for you to handle on your own then as a nurse and patient advocate you have to be able to ask even demand for help.

I wish you all the best.

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Apr 24, 2009

Yes- that mirrors my experience when I was in nursing school, and it lasted for the first two years after I graduated. But I was able to see how things would change after a few years when I learned more, knew how to handle families better, and had more confidence. It did get better, but the only way out is through.

It helped me when I came across a tough situation to go to the experienced nurses and ask how they would have handled it. They usually had a few options I hadn't thought about (allnurses is great for that). The casual talking late at night was a big help, and if you get night shifts try to welcome it. That's how I would attack the first few years if I had to do it over again. I also think you should be very clear when you do interviews that you need supportive coworkers. When I interview even now that's a dealbreaker, and it's reasonable to say upfront, because if the support isn't there the orientation is just a waste of time.

Ask questions about clinical stuff, but make sure you don't forget to ask about the coping end, how to approach tough families, anything that worries you. Most of the time you'll find we've all found those things hard.

nursemike, ASN, RN · Apr 24, 2009

Well, yes, this is what it's like. Sometimes, anyway. Actually, it can get worse. But it also gets better. Like, when you're practicing on your own, you don't have an instructor breathing down your neck, ready to pounce on every little mistake, or even near-mistake. So that takes a little of the stress off, in a way, although it also takes away the safety net of having an instructor breathing down your neck, ready to pounce on every little mistake (or big one.) And you pretty much have to learn to balance empathy with objectivity, not to mention keeping yourself sane. I believe I generally give my patients all I can, and mostly that's all they need, but if I try to routinely give them all I have, I won't last, so I keep a little of myself for myself, my family and friends, and my cats. That isn't to say there aren't times I have to dig pretty deep inside myself. There are mornings I sit in my car and pray for my patients, or usually a particular patient, before I drive home, and I'm not really a prayerful person, most of the time. But there are also times--maybe too many--when I curse and swear and kick the med cart.

I used to be a carpenter, and I learned a little about the metallurgy of chisels. A tool has to be hard to hold a sharp edge, but if it's too hard, it's too brittle to use. One blow and it shatters. Milder (softer) steel is tougher and stands up to rough use, but it won't take much an edge, and won't hold what it does take. Finding that balance in a nurse is no easier than finding it in a chisel, but it can be done. So, yes, I imagine you are changing as a person, but it would be a problem if you weren't, because caring and empathy are only part of the job.

You have overcome a big challenge, just getting into nursing school, and you are overcoming an even bigger one, getting through. You have some more challenges ahead of you, and for a while it will probably seem like each is bigger than the last. A lot of people, including me, think the transition from student nurse to working nurse is high on the list of the hardest things they have ever done. In some ways, it may be harder than it needs to be, but even with an adequate orientation from nurses who support you, it's hard.

In school, one of my clinical instructors was a bit frustrated because none of us in her clinical group seemed to be having any fun. We thought she was nuts.

But time and again during the living hell of my first year as a working nurse (I exaggerate, but not a lot) I found myself actually having fun. Putting tubes in various orifices, hanging meds, looking at the MAR and deciding who will be getting their meds late (if all they're getting is Pepcid and Colace, does it really matter if they get them at 22:35?) and doing all the things a real nurse does, without even having to ask permission, is pretty cool. When a patient insists you stop by their room before you leave for the day, because they're being discharged and they don't want to leave before they give you a hug, that's not terrible, either.

At some point, you'll probably feel stupid, and it's very possible others may agree with you. Just try to remember that you wouldn't be where you are if you weren't pretty darned smart, and learn from your mistakes. And don't worry too much about losing your compassion. A few do, it's true, but most don't. They just figure out how to use it effectively. Personally, I'm not the most demonstratively emotional person, but the time I spend with patients is the food that makes this work worth doing. You give them what they need, you give them what you can, and most, in their ways, give it right back.

It ain't easy, but it's pretty freakin' amazing. I love my stupid job, and so will you.

cardiacmadeline, RN · Apr 24, 2009

Well, first I'd like to say I understand what you feel like. I absolutely hated nursing school and wanted to quit after my first year, but I stuck it out because I wanted to be a nurse. And I am glad I did! Yeah, nursing is stressful and there are days when you feel like your patients and families don't appreciate you, but then at the end of the day one of your patients will say "Thank you, you've been a great nurse" and that comment will make everything seem so much better. Nursing really is a great career, don't give up! And remember, there are so many different opportunities out there for nurses.

Don't be so hard on yourself for almost giving the wrong medication. I bet if you ask any nurse, they have similiar stories. You learned from it so focus on all the things that you did well that day. You said you had 4 patients?? Maybe others can comment on this, but that seems like a lot of patients for clinical. No wonder you were overwhelmed. I think that is a lot of responsibility for a student nurse.

One last thing, sadly (and honestly) there are a lot of nurses that don't have the patience for student nurses. I am certainly not one of them. I enjoy having students on the floor. Student nurses are the future and I think they deserve as much respect as any other nurse. Promise yourself that when you graduate (and you will!), you will never forget what is was like to be a student. A nurse told me this when I was in school and it is one piece of advice I promised myself I will never forget.

QT3.14RNinCA · Apr 24, 2009

Hi Summersent,

You're the only person that can make the decision to quit now or pursue becoming an RN. Yes, there are days (sometimes weeks) when you feel under-appreciated, over worked with no one around you for help. Keep in mind that this happens in any profession. Nursing is a tough profession but its rewards are well worth all the drama if you keep things in perspective.

I've found that most of the families I deal with are "rude" because they're stressed out and often afraid. They see their loved ones on ventilators with tubes coming out of every orifice and it's scary. Sometimes this fear translates into "rudeness" (then again maybe they truly are just jerks...). I never take it personally. Instead, try to see their point of view. Talk to the families/patients and answer their questions honestly. Truly try to give them a sense that they're partners in the treatment of their loved ones. Of course there are always going to be difficult patients/families but there are also those who will partner with you and remind you why you chose to become a nurse to begin with. The days when a family member gives me a hug and thanks me for the compassion I've show their loved one are memorable days. These are the days when my empty tank gets filled. It makes up for all the days when all I want to do is quit.

Good luck in your decision. Remember that no one/nothing can truly change you unless you participate in that change.

AyeRN · Apr 24, 2009

Hi, summersent,

I think what you're feeling right now is just normal. You're just overwhelmed with the amount of tasks and responsibilities we have as nurses. Also, disappointed by how some patients, famillies, hospital staff treat us. Believe me you're not the only one who feels that way. I think, its safe for me to say that most of us, at one point in our nursing career, thought about quitting. I can say that myself. I've been a nurse for 5 years now and loving it. But it took me awhile before i got the hang of it. My first few years had been a struggle.. I was always anxious on my way to work, or i would always check our daily schedule to see who i'm working with. There were days when i would cry on my way home. Being a good nurse is hard. There's obviously the "clinical" part of it (where you assess, pass the meds, place NGT, foleys. etc.) Sometimes, you also have to be the unit secretary or the nurses aide.. There would be days when u feel like all you did was clean poop. Sometimes, you also have to be housekeeping. Yet sometimes no matter how hard you worked, your patients/family members still hav complaints. Its not always like that though. Seeing your patient walk out of the hospital is really fulfilling. Some patients would even visit us a month or two later on their street clothes..all made-up just to say thank you. So, its not all that bad. Its a hard job. Physically, mentally, and emotionally stressful, but not always. Hope that helps.

SonicnurseRN · Apr 24, 2009

Thanks NurseMike for ur post. Very well written & inspiring!

ma_82 · Apr 24, 2009

this is a nursing profession. unlike other jobs out there, we are taught to be submissive not agressive. Give care rather than insisting that we wre in theright side. Just reme,mber at the vend of the day, we know in ourselves that we've done as what an angel in land should do ;-)