I'm sick of taking care of people who don't care

truern · Mar 20, 2009

(((((FireStarterRN)))))

sometimes we just really need a big ole hug :)

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Mar 20, 2009

This is a very tricky issue... but without the wish to sound judgmental, it bothers me when pt.s state that they cannot afford to take responsibility for their own health by eating nutritiously and exercising because it is too expensive, yet they purchase cigarettes and alcohol on a regular basis, drive a couple of brand new cars, watch TV on a mega flat screen with at least a hundred channel choices, wear designer label clothes and have a house full of "mod cons"... huge gas fired BBQ, dishwasher, clothes drier, hot tub, swimming pool... etc. etc..
One can only wonder....

To me, this, again, is about the value the person places on personal health. If they would rather spend their resources and time on alcohol, tobacco, and luxury items, this tells me that they value other things more than they value their health. This is not uncommon at all. How many of us would rather buy a new pair of shoes than spend the money on a gym membership, or go out to dinner than run a couple of miles? Sadly, many people do not place high value on their health until they are in a health crisis.

maybe you should have really searched yourself before entering into an occupation where you need to be humble, and have tolerance and compassion for others.

Responses like this are not helpful, and contribute nothing positive to the discussion.

that was a great post, lpn.
and yes!
firestarter is all those good things, and more.
i suspect that if she didn't invest so much of herself w/her pts, she wouldn't be getting burnt out.
i just don't understand snarky replies.
no need for them, whatsoever.
leslie

I agree. It is precisely *because* we care, because we work so hard, not just physically, but investing ourselves emotionally as well, that we can find ourselves so burnt out. To me, someone who can just go along and throw pills at people and not ever get frustrated by the fact that so many people don't seem to care about their own health is the person lacking in humility and compassion.

I think what nurses who find themselves experiencing the feelings expressed in the OP need are to be able to express those feelings safely, without fear of judgment or persecution, and some time away from the bedside to reflect, rejuvenate, and find joy in life again. I'm thinking tropical vacation here.....sandy beaches and umbrella drinks served by scantily clad, muscular men.....

truern · Mar 20, 2009

I'm thinking tropical vacation here.....sandy beaches and umbrella drinks served by scantily clad, muscular men.....

Great post!

Wonder why any drink tastes better with a paper umbrella in it?!? And even better served by a cabana boy

I see an allnurses vacation in the making!

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Mar 20, 2009

Great post!
Wonder why any drink tastes better with a paper umbrella in it?!? And even better served by a cabana boy

I don't know, but I can taste it now! Mmmmmmm!

:onbch:

rngolfer53 · Mar 21, 2009

maybe you should have really searched yourself before entering into an occupation where you need to be humble, and have tolerance and compassion for others.

Perhaps you should take your own advice.

deyo321 · Mar 21, 2009

I think I have posted about this before but...

I too experience this frequently. I get an intake in who thinks they will die without their methadone, really they are so brainwashed by these clinics. In my jail we do not give methadone. They detox and we work hard to help them do it. They are generally so thankful, I have had inmates say "If I had known it was this easy I would have done it years ago" Then lo and behold they are released and a month later they are back and guess what? Yep here we go again. It happens with etohers, heroin, methadone, etc. They are such different people when they are in here and clean. When they come back you can see the ravages and the toll it takes on them. It's sad.

So how to deal with the frustration and burn out? We make jokes and say politically incorrect things that non-nurses would never understand and would consider in poor taste. They would say that we were not "compassionate" or "humble". They would snarkily suggest another career path.

Hey walk a mile in my shoes. Detox some poor soul for the umpteenth time and watch their deteriation and know that addiction is so powerful that all my nursing knowledge can't stop this.

Venting and black humor = sanity and a nurse who is ready to get in the ring again. :twocents:

Katie82, RN · Mar 21, 2009

We can't fix you sir. You need to do it, at least as far as it's possible.
I love the education aspect of nursing. But when someone you've educated the last 3-4 times they were hospitalized about appropriate diet, importance of good blood sugar control, need for exercise, etc for their diabetes; comes in (again!) and says "No, no special diet. I eat whatever I want, and just give myself a few extra units of insulin", I want to beat my head against a wall. My paycheck is the only thing keeping me in this field at this point. And I HATE that. I'd really love to love my job again..

You have just described half of my Case Managment load. Problem is, you are taking this personally. The challenge is not in "fixing" them, but making sure they have the resources to fix themselves. Something like Diabetes is usually a family thing, and comes from generations of mismanagement. You have to look for that one smart link in the chain to break the cycle, and a lot of times you don't find it. I take my satisfaction from knowing I tried. I have had some sucess stories, and that makes a difference. I guess I have been doing this long enough to have developed an instinct for what works. And I learned to think outside the box. I am finding, despite all I have learned about "motivational interviewing", that tough love works better for most of these folks. And you have to teach the entire family - I have no trouble telling the family what they almost certainly expect in the future, especially with the focus on pre-diabetes and Metabolic Syndrome. Just rise above these folks, and don't take it personally because they are too stupid to care.

tencat · Mar 21, 2009

FireStarter, if you can it might be a good time to really treat yourself to a good vacation, or at the very least a really good massage (or a really good vacation with a really good massage given by a very nice cabana boy....:) When I feel myself getting burned out, I try to take a little time off. It seems to help. Even just a day to do nothing helps me get some perspective and sanity.

DeepFriedRN · Mar 21, 2009

You have just described half of my Case Managment load. Problem is, you are taking this personally. The challenge is not in "fixing" them, but making sure they have the resources to fix themselves.

Actually I'm not taking it personally at all!! As a matter of fact, you are making the exact point I was trying to convey. My frustration with all of it is just what I described--people who do not take responsibilty for their own health, and then come in and want us (nurses, MDs, etc) to "fix" them. And it's just not going to happen. And there are a lot of people that just don't get that--that the medical field won't "fix" them, that their problems are related to their actions and behaviors. I do everything I can, (as described in a prior post, and even more than that, really) to give them the knowledge and tools to help themselves. And there are just some people who don't want to put in their part. They don't want to have to do the hard things or the uncomfortable things. And it is THOSE people who frustrate me. But I appreciate (truly I do, I'm not being sarcastic) you taking the time to respond and not attack.

FireStarterRN, BSN, RN · Mar 21, 2009

Thanks for all the encouraging words. I've been under the weather with a throat thing, and I've been resting. I'm scheduled for a swing shift today, and they called me twice this morning to try to get me to come in. I said "Sorry, I have plans this morning, specifically to sleep, can't help you"

farmlady · Mar 25, 2009

If we become a 100% socialized medical system (as opposed to the 70% we now are, yes I learned that statistic in nursing school, between Medicare and Medicaid support, that's what it is), then we will get more of the same. When people abdicate personal responsibility for their health (let alone everything else) this is what we train people to do. Lucky, there are more people open to alternative methods to drugs than there ever were before. Luckily, I can do "patient teaching" and be free of giving 'Medical Advice" legally. But that binds me to the responsibility of finding out the alternatives and studying them on my own. Start with the symptoms of nutritional defiencies, on the Google search. Do you know people can die from B12 deficiency? Do you know what beri beri is? Do you know what pellegra is? These are simple B6 and thiamine deficiencies. Go back in your memory to cellular respiration. Every enzyme NEEDS a vitamin or mineral to work. AT ALL. Does a deficiency cause symptoms? You bet. Can deficiencies cause death? You bet. Can deficiencies cause today's diseases? Anyone with ACLS cert, remember what they told you about magnesium and VFib? That's what it is, a deficiency that can cause a heart attack and death. It's there, but is conveniently ignored. It is not emphasized. Instead they take ER drugs, like verapamil and put them into a pill, and tell the patient take this for the rest of your life. Instead they could be saying take your vitamins for the rest of your life. Take your fish oil daily...(instead of ASA, or worse, rat poison coumadin)

But not all vitamins are created equal. The ones we have in the hospital, a joke.

My favorite www.westonaprice.org, and Nutrition and Physical Degeneration by Weston A. Price. www.mercola.com and Know Your Fats by Mary Enig PhD There is a start.

If your patients aren't interested in the info, you will find out quickly. If they are, give them the info. There are more there now that before. Some nursing CE companies are even offering credit for some classes in this.

If you can get the tape, Dead Doctors Don't Lie is a good one about the importance of minerals. I found Kelp to be a good natural cheap source of microminerals, and let your calcium be citrate, Chalk and oyster shells don't digest well at all. http://www.kingmaker.net/DeadDoctorstxt.html let your magnesium be malate or citrate. Oxides are rust, they just don't absorb.

Mr.RN-CDE · Mar 25, 2009

I get frustrated too. We all do. I'm a diabetes educator and I have the 350 lb pt who tells me she only eats 1 time a day and that's a salad, but her BG is still out of control...etc. There are days when I feel like I have been bashing my head against a wall all day. Then a pt will drop in to show me how loose the size 16 pants she is wearing are, because when she saw me the first time she wore a size 24... then I know I have to come back the next day.

We can't save them all, some people no matter how we try, don't want to be saved. Although rarely dx with it, I think we all see a lot of Munchausen pts. They get more attention if they are sick. They like being different and difficult pts. They like the attention.