I think I'm professional, but now I'm not so sure, after I told some American friends that as a male nurse, I don't catheterize women.
'That's sexist' was one of the kinder comments, while one of the more rational comments said - "We are professionals. As long as we behave in a professional way, then we should all have to do the same job."
I naturally asked 'does this mean we're nurses first, and men/women second?' and they didn't give a concise answer.
Am I the only male who thinks that it is harder for a female patient as well as for a male nurse to do such an intimate procedure?
Am I the only nurse who thinks that gender does matter? What harm does it cause if I choose not to do a procedure when there are capable people around who could do it just as well, plus make it easier for the patient. As a male nurse, I need a female chaperone if doing such a procedure on a woman anyway, so why not make it easier for everyone and simply keep the male out of it altogether?
But what does being a "Professional" mean? From what I'm hearing from others it sounds like I am a sexless machine capable of doing it all because that is what I am paid to do. Instead I think of myself as a caring carer. I have my faults and biases. I make mistakes and I sometimes let my feelings help make my decisions. But I have a big heart and I do the job because I care first. I enjoy making people laugh when they're sick. I enjoy being able to make a difference in people's lives. I also do the job recognizing my faults, and if I ever think that my views/faults may jeopardize a patient, I know to get someone else to take over that patient's care. I guess I'm not a very successful Sexless Professional. But I can live with being called sexist and unprofessional, just because I sometimes refuse to do female catheterization. I'm sure there's a lot worse things I could be.
A couple of extra points to mention:
For the record, the female staff used to ask me to catheterize the men, and they'd do the same for my female patients, and we never had a problem.
Also it's strange, but apparently I'm allowed to catheterize little old ladies, but not young women. Sounds a bit ageist to me. Do the feelings of older people not matter as much as those of young people? Naturally I'd never contemplate such a procedure on a young woman.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I'm worried about the almost militant sounding attitude, that you're a nurse, so do it all. Where has the care/compassion gone. There's certainly doesn't seem to be much empathy out there, as the majority of patients I know, prefer someone of the same gender to do certain intimate procedures.
As for any male nurse ok with catheterizing an 18yr old girl, who says 'she's fine with it' is simply being blind to their patient's needs.
Maybe she is "fine with it."
I think you are making this more about your discomfort than the patient's, and sexualizing something that is a medical procedure.
Well, until working with some american nurses, all I ever knew was that you had a chaperone if doing certain procedures on a female - so for practical purposes, I'd sort the male patients out, and the women would sort out my female patients for such procedures.
What I find concerning is this attitude that a nurse has to do it all, that our likes and dislikes don't matter, that fellow nurses would not think me a real nurse because of one procedure I don't do.
Jumping in here and haven't read all the responses but here's my 2 cents...as a female, I (personally) am much more comfortable with female providers. Having said that, if I am hospitalized and have a male nurse or dr caring for me, it is not something I'm going to be upset about and ask to have changed. There are plenty of women who prefer male providers over females. It goes both ways. As for your concerns about this, unless a patient is specifically saying they do not want you as their nurse to perform the medical necessities they require then I would tell you to just go about doing what needs to be done for the patient regardless of gender or age.
Your lack of professionalism on SO many levels is baffling. Honestly, you sound like the type of nurse who doesn't want to do their fair share. If everyone played the "sex" card in every conceivable instance, NOTHING would get done in medicine...
So you'd be fine with a man doing that with your 18yr old daughter? Maybe you are fine with it, but is your daughter?
I'm sorry but I think he is. I haven't once considered my gender an impediment to providing the best care I can. I'm absolutely flawed- there are better nurses than myself in every hospital. But I am telling you straight from the heart that being a man presents obstacles you probably haven't considered. There is nothing I won't do for my patients because of my sex, but I get shut out of very simple things EVERY SINGLE DAY because of my gender. I don't cath women as often as men because in my experience the preference is for a woman to cath a woman- that is from my patients. It has literally nothing to do with me- I'll be honest and say that my skills with women have suffered due to patient preference. I get that a doctor's gender might be moot now, but I'm telling you that mine is not.
Well, until working with some american nurses, all I ever knew was that you had a chaperone if doing certain procedures on a female - so for practical purposes, I'd sort the male patients out, and the women would sort out my female patients for such procedures.
What I find concerning is this attitude that a nurse has to do it all, that our likes and dislikes don't matter, that fellow nurses would not think me a real nurse because of one procedure I don't do.
Thanks for all your support guys. Nice one.
Oh, were you looking for support? Missed that.
You have said we "hate" you and now you are saying we don't think you are a "real nurse".
Specializes in Cardiac, Home Health, Primary Care.
I can truly see both sides of the issue. Yes I am a professional and will get up in genitalia if that's what is needed. Do I want to on either sex? No. Not honestly. When a young male patient comes in for a complaint dealing with his groin do I turn him away? Absolutely not. Would I prefer to not do the exam? Sure. But it needs to be done so I do it in a professional way but acknowledge his embarrassment as normal but reassure that it's just part of the job and nothing to be ashamed about.
If I were in the hospital and needed a cath would I prefer a female place it? Sure I guess but I won't turn away a male nurse.
There are absolutely some patients who just want people of the same sex up in their junk. Plenty who see the doctor in my office early in the week but come back to me a few days later for their PAPs. It's just a matter of comfort.
On the other hand would I save a job for a male nurse if it needed done and I could do it? No.
Complicated question that I don't think has a truly right answer.
What I find concerning is this attitude that a nurse has to do it all, that our likes and dislikes don't matter,
Ok, I'm not a nurse yet but I'm pretty sure that as a nurse your likes and dislikes DON'T matter. Isn't it about the patient? Getting them the care they need? Does anyone really like cleaning up poop? I doubt that, but it gets done regardless of the likes/dislikes of the nurse.
Your original post made it sound like your concern was for the patient being uncomfortable, not yourself.
You believe that a female should cath a female only yet you as a male are working in an area just for women's health. I'm sorry but I dont understand your logic of working in this area and only wanting to do only part of your job. My advise look for another department yo work in where you are willing and comfortable doing your whole job.
Yes, I am fine with a man "doing that" with me or my daughter. The man is performing a medical procedure, nothing more. YOU are the one sexualizing it.
This quote sums it up quite nicely.
Seriously OP, it's a medical procedure. As a patient it would cause me stress or even creep me out if the nurse performing the catheterization was awkward about it. Just approach the task with the same professionalism as you would any other task.
Many of the procedures we do are intimate and may make patients feel very vulnerable and at the mercy of our skill and knowledge and to our willingness to protect their integrity. We do things that people wouldn't want done to them if they weren't sick or in pain and needed the procedure for relief of symptoms/treatment/cure.
Many of the situations that make patients feel vulnerable don't involve genitalia at all, yet memberes and lady partss always (!) seem to be at the center in threads like this one. Honestly, and this doesn't only apply to this thread but to many others I've seen on this or a similar topic, I think that the respective OPs are projecting their own emotions or hang-ups onto the subject.
I've inserted nasogastric tubes , performed urinary catheterizations and tracheal intubations. Neither of these procedures are exactly fun for the patient and in my mind they're all similar. In my mind I don't differentiate between the different anatomical locations where I insert things. They're procedures. Period.
If a patient expresses a wish to have someone of the opposite sex rather perform a procedure rather than having me perform it, I'll respect the patient's wish. There's no need to overcomplicate matters.
I naturally asked 'does this mean we're nurses first, and men/women second?' and they didn't give a concise answer.
I'm not even sure what you mean by this question. You are a man, or you are a woman or you are whatever you indentify as. It's not something that you can just turn on and off at will. I just don't understand how it pertains to performing procedures because you are at work doing a job, not having some sort of personal relationship with the patient's genitalia.
OP you don't need to be sexless to be a nurse, you need to not sexualize medical procedures.
When the population eventually accepts male nurses, which I feel will be soon, this won't be as much of an issue. I promise you men don't get into this line of work to offend their coworkers. God as my witness at least 30% of females won't even let me place a bedpan, let alone a Foley. You may not see this but I swear it's truth. We're professionals, but don't pretend patients look at us the same way they do male doctors. We're not OBGYN's. It IS different. But not because of US. It's a persons preference, and we're respecting it. I hope the OP follows up. I'm glad this is in discussion.
OCNRN63, RN
5,979 Posts
Maybe she is "fine with it."
I think you are making this more about your discomfort than the patient's, and sexualizing something that is a medical procedure.