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I'm a sexless nurse

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flyersfan88

Specializes in Trauma, Orthopedics.

This is probably not germane to the original discussion, but I have to ask...

Why would someone who is uncomfortable with female anatomy (uncomfortable catheterizing females, etc.) take a position on the gynecology ward? Again, this does answer the question of "should males catheterize female," but it makes the whole situation a little more bizarre.

This is absolutely the most mind boggling part about this. My god.

Red Kryptonite

Specializes in hospice. Has 3 years experience.

Have you done that on an 18yr old girl? if so, do you honestly believe she was ok with it? Perhaps she didn't say anything because she felt too scared to.

When I was an 18 year old girl, a male OB jammed a speculum up my vagina. At that point, that was the only thing that had been in there except tampons.

After that, having a catheter inserted by a male nurse would have been nothing.

It was an accident. The local hospital took on 12 new grads - but with no interview, and we got a letter congratulating us on our new jobs, and what ward we were in. They thought my name was a woman's name, and when I turned up, the charge nurse called management to ask *** was going on. Not the easiest place to start.

Red Kryptonite

Specializes in hospice. Has 3 years experience.

So you'd be fine with a man doing that with your 18yr old daughter? Maybe you are fine with it, but is your daughter?

I have a 17 year old whom I am fairly certain would accept care from men if hospitalized, because she's been pretty vocal about how stupid it is to expect that only one gender can do certain tasks. Since she's entering aerospace engineering, she's living by her words. :)

Red Kryptonite

Specializes in hospice. Has 3 years experience.

I have NEVER understood why males need a "chaperone" to do female care, but females do not when providing male care.

Because our society believes men/boys can't really be sexual assault victims. Look at the differences in media coverage and even sentencing when a female teenager is taken advantage of by her teacher, and when the same happens to a male teenager. With the power differential and position of trust, there can be no real consent, never mind the illegality. Yet girls are treated as victims, while boys more often get back slaps. They don't even have permission to feel victimized.

Farawyn

Has 25 years experience.

Because our society believes men/boys can't really be sexual assault victims. Look at the differences in media coverage and even sentencing when a female teenager is taken advantage of by her teacher, and when the same happens to a male teenager. With the power differential and position of trust, there can be no real consent, never mind the illegality. Yet girls are treated as victims, while boys more often get back slaps. They don't even have permission to feel victimized.

This, this, this, a thousand times this.

I can not believe that an HR department would be so much in a rush of giving jobs out that they would not have seen that you were a male nurse. Sure a name can be confusing but I can not imagine that they would have seen your resume and profile and not notice that you were a guy. So strange. Also why take the job if you are so uncomfortable working with women. You should not be taking on a nursing job that you are not willing to or are uncomfortable doing and expect your female co workers to take on the slack

Red Kryptonite

Specializes in hospice. Has 3 years experience.

Yes, OP, you could have called HR when you got the assignment, before the first day of work.

100% true. I listened in as the charge nurse phoned management, and it wasn't nice. It was the most bizarre way to start a job, no interview, no questionaire, no apparent filtering of the candidates. But with twelve jobs and over 100 applicants (from other universities as well) of course you're not going to say no.

Red Kryptonite

Specializes in hospice. Has 3 years experience.

100% true. I listened in as the charge nurse phoned management, and it wasn't nice. It was the most bizarre way to start a job, no interview, no questionaire, no apparent filtering of the candidates. But with twelve jobs and over 100 applicants (from other universities as well) of course you're not going to say no.

True. It does sound like you were badly treated and that's not right.

Farawyn

Has 25 years experience.

I worked in an OB/GYN clinic, and of course, have been a patient. I would say the word is not "intimate", nor have I heard that used. Rather, "private".

Intimate conveys closeness.

Over the years, I have had 4 OBGYNs and 3 different Reproductive Endocrinologists. 6 out of 7 of them have been males. So yes, I have had a whole lot of male doctors with their faces up my hoo-ha over the years. Doesn't bother me at all. They are trained medical professionals. This isn't a sexual thing. I chose my doctors based on their expertise and skill and not their gender.

That said, there are some women who are uncomfortable with male physicians and/or nurses. All they need to do is request someone else. And that's not a big deal.

Your comment is a perfect example of why a chaperone is used in the hospitals I've worked in. 'Intimate' means one thing to you, and maybe something different to your patient. I have a strange suspicion that it would be easier for a patient to misconstrue/misinterpret something when a man is near their privates, than a woman. I guess the hospital felt that way as well.

"Intimate" means a lot of things. I often describe the care I give as "intimate" when people ask what I do. Changing dressings is intimate; helping someone in a hospital gown walk to the bathroom as they cling to you is intimate. "You have to be able to care for people intimately," I tell those who wonder if they could do what we do. Giving someone a catheter is very intimate. Intimate doesn't mean "sexy".

Farawyn

Has 25 years experience.

"Intimate" means a lot of things. I often describe the care I give as "intimate" when people ask what I do. Changing dressings is intimate; helping someone in a hospital gown walk to the bathroom as they cling to you is intimate. "You have to be able to care for people intimately," I tell those who wonder if they could do what we do. Giving someone a catheter is very intimate. Intimate doesn't mean "sexy".

I never said it meant sexy. I said it conveys closeness. And I still maintain my work is not intimate. Caring, yes, not intimate.

FlyingScot, RN

Specializes in Peds/Neo CCT,Flight, ER, Hem/Onc. Has 28 years experience.

I think some of the posters are being a little hard on the OP. I think his questions are reasonable and thought provoking. I didn't get from him any sense that he was some kind of "perv". I appreciate that he is considering the patient's feelings. And he is right, some patients may be too afraid to voice that they'd rather have a female doing the procedure.

Emergent, RN

Specializes in ER. Has 28 years experience.

Intimate | Define Intimate at Dictionary.com

adjective1.associated in close personal relations:an intimate friend.

2.characterized by or involving warm friendship or a personally close orfamiliar association or feeling:an intimate greeting.

3.very private; closely personal:one's intimate affairs.

4.characterized by or suggesting an atmosphere conducive to privacy orintimacy; warmly cozy:an intimate little café where we can relax and talk.

5.(of an association, knowledge, understanding, etc.) arising from closepersonal connection or familiar experience.

6.engaged in or characterized by sexual relations:too young to handle an intimate relationship.

7.(of women's clothing) worn next to the skin, under street or outergarments:a store that sells intimate apparel.

sourapril

Specializes in public health. Has 5 years experience.

There are nursing jobs in which you don't have to deal with genitals at all. If you are uncomfortable with dealing with certain body parts, you definitely should avoid most bedside nursing. You have a choice. However, if you want to stay in your position, you will need to do those tasks no matter how unpleasant you feel about them. You may have your own cultural believe, you may have a very good intention to protect your female patients, but you are not being professional as a nurse. We all value individuality in this country, but I can't hire a nurse if he/she refuses to provide care to certain population.

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