I'm the nosy lady in walmart. Woopsie.

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Well, I didn't mean to but oh my, did I piss off a mother in the checkout line today. I got in a line that didn't move, for about five minutes. I became interested in the scene in front of me so I didn't change lanes. There's a mommy, her little girl in the cart, who's about 3-4 years old, and her son standing next to her, and an adult woman with her. The little girl came close to pitching a fit to get out of the cart, which subsided with the threat of a spanking. So far, nothing out of the ordinary, I've been there.

Then the boy decided to use the cart handlebar as a monkeybars-climb-on-thing, and the mom told him no, and put her hand on the back of his neck. I didn't think anything of it till she took her hand off a few seconds later, and I could clearly see red imprints of her fingers and thumb on either sides of his neck. He's a little kid, and she's got long fingers, so the red spots were smack where both his carotids should be. This is the point at which I became interested. She did this intermittently for a couple of minutes, and each time she did, the kid got very quiet and still during the pressure, and his face got pale. (duh!) Each time she released her hand, he started doing this weird little cry thing that sounded sorta like he was about to throw up.

I interpreted it as a potential for neurological damage and/or death, so I spoke up. I said, "excuse me maam, are you aware you're about to seriously injure your child?" Oh boy. Well, she chewed me out about how it's not my business, and got very in-my-face about it. I was relieved because while she was doing that, she wasn't touching her son. Eventually I stated that "you are right maam, except that if he passes out while you're doing that, I'm going to call the police." This got me two cellphones from the mom and her companion, shoved right about an inch from my nose. Silly folks, I don't even own a cellphone- and I realized that people mad enough to do that are probably mad enough to get physical with a stranger. I declined to use their cellphones, stating that it wasn't necessary to call the police at this exact moment, because her child was standing and conscious.

The mom asked me if she had left marks on her child, and I responded, "yes maam, that is why I said something." She told me to "stay out of it" as she got ready to change lanes around me. I said, "yes maam" and let it be. I was pretty happy to see her get out of the store faster, because that would be less time she'd feel the need to keep squeezing her child's neck.

Now, my question is, in what other way could I have interpreted this scene? I don't regret speaking to the mother because a little prevention can go a long way; however in this case I think that mom's not likely to listen to someone else's concerns. There doesn't seem to be a good way to handle things like that.

-Indy

Wow I really respect you for standing up for that little boy and yourself. I'm not sure I would have been able to do that. I was on the bus one time and there was a woman with three kids, who, for some reason she had shaved their eyebrows off, and she was smacking those kids around and yelling at them. Someone said something and she just went off. Then a few other people got in the act. She was a BIG woman and obviously dangerous. She ended up dragging the kids off the bus, I felt so bad for them.

Specializes in Peds - playing with the kids.

Hi,

I am glad you stopped her :wink2: . She may not know what harm she was causing, but she is a mom, and is aware of causing harm. I have 3 boys and am a peds nurse.

I work at a large hospital and the number of shaken babies that I have taken care of is sad :scrying:. A little education goes a long way. Maybe you made her finally stop and think :confused: .

Specializes in ICU, telemetry, LTAC.
:scrying: Indy, I am guessing you are in Indiana. I used to work in social services in this state and often had to call in DFC (dept of family services). You'd be suprised what has to happen to kids in order for any action on the part of the DFC to take place (Got burned out and is the reason I am going to NS). I used to get the furthest by saying things like, " My kids used to act up ALL the time at the store, it drove me CRAZY. My cousin grabbed her kid like that one time and he/she passed out. You might want to think about ____ instead." This way the parent is less likely to get defensive because they THINK you are on their side, and you are teaching for future situations. I KNOW that this seems a bit ridiculous, but like I said, the chances that DFC would follow up that call would be unlikely. They are under staffed, and we all know that after all the crap that they see (as do nurses), it's all about priorities. I am sooo glad your heart is in the right place, and you did stop the behavior at the time! :kiss

I'm in georgia, not indiana. I like your idea but I hope I never see anything like that again!

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

You did the right thing, telling this mom what she is doing is potentially harmful. Sounds to me, she needs coping skills or parenting classes. Too bad, anyone gets to be a parent.

Despite the fact that "mom" was angry, perhaps in the long run you gave her some food for thought, maybe she didn't know how seriously she could harm her child. Kudos to you. Not everyone has the nerve to speak up.

:yeah: :yeah: :yeah:

How could you be so diplomatic towards this foolish woman, Indy?

I would have lost my cool, and I would have called the police. She would have realized she had cut off her nose to spite her face, because the call would require follow up with child protective services.

I think you made a mistake by not calling the police.

Specializes in surgical, emergency.

I agree I hope that I would have had the courage to step in the way you did!!!

Let's face it,,your actions state why you are a nurse. You tried to become the pt advocate, and tried to care for someone!! That's great!!

I agree, I might have tried to get a license number, or see if the authorities could get the name from her check or credit card from the store.

I think the woman didn't realize what she was doing, but it seems to me that she had done it before!

In this day and age, I guess you need to be careful of you actions, and everyone parents different, but when it's so obvious as this...no question!!

Mike

Not only would I have called, but I would have had Walmart's security keep them there.

Thanks for sticking your neck out for that child. It will probably make a difference.

How could you be so diplomatic towards this foolish woman, Indy?

I would have lost my cool, and I would have called the police.

I believe she did say in so many words that she did not want to put her child in danger by being more confrontational with this woman.

wal mart is a breeding/meeting ground of unmentionables. Child abuse should not be tolerated especially when it's something like you witnessed. when i was younger mummy would only pinch me enough to get my attention to behave and it would always be on the arm or thigh someplace nondescript and no threat to my immediate health. too many children are abused daily with no one to help, i say KUDOS to you for at least trying. i only wish you would have told her why it was extra dangerous to block the supply of oxygen to a small child. :angryfire :angryfire

I would have LOVED to have been behind you! I would have spoke up with you!

I'm telling you that I swear it's something with Walmart. The Walmart near me is nothing but low class acting people. They let their kids run wild, they think the furniture dept is a drop off daycare, parents always hitting their kids for one reason or another, RUDE employees, etc.

I HATE Walmart!!!

Good for you for speaking up though!

I am the nosey lady in the toy dept saying "WHERE is your MOTHER?!!!!"

melissa

Specializes in jack of all trades, master of none.

I actually have called the police in similar situations, followed parents out of stores to their cars & gave police license plate numbers. I have also been followed, physically threatened, screamed at. However, it has all been worth it.

Specializes in Gerontological Nursing, Acute Rehab.
wal mart is a breeding/meeting ground of unmentionables.

Wow, and I thought I was the only one who thought that.

I, too, have seen many things happen at our local WalMart, which is why I don't go there anymore. Nothing as bad as that, though.

Good for you, Indy. It took real courage to do something like that. I don't think I'd have the moxie to speak up....... :stone

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