If people make me feel bad, I've been bullied

[Emergent]

There's so much wrong with my title. Yes, we have every right to our feelings. I feel sad, I feel bad, I am happy, I feel great!

But, to blame others for our emotional state is a cop out.

Yes, bullying does exist and can be devastating. But just because our feelings are hurt does not make us victims.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

Elaborate for me. Emoticons are a great form of communication.

Essentially, you just proved the point that certain folks will see bulliying/discrimination/inequality/what-have-you-it's-not-fair in pretty much everything around them.

AKA, the point of this thread. You provided a perfect illustration of the mindset. Thanks

[mariebailey, MSN, RN]

Essentially, you just proved the point that certain folks will see bulliying/discrimination/inequality/what-have-you-it's-not-fair in pretty much everything around them.

Where'd you get your PhD in psychology? You have me totally figured out. You must be really bright. I wish I could work with you. You should look up the DSM V criteria for narcissistic personalty disorder when you get a chance.

What I'm saying and what you said is totally inappropriate for the workplace. That was what I was trying to say.

[Angeljho, MSN, NP]

Was this post necessary? Bullying may be overused but the real problem is that people here are focusing on the OVERUSE of the term rather than the problem that the person who is overusing it may be facing. Although some people might be overusing the term "bullying", they are still crying for help about something that's bothering or upsetting them. Not everyone understands what bullying is; my point is that we should kindly educate them but still tend to their complaints.

Recently, there was a post about how a poster was worried s/he would get rejected from employment due to completing school at an online college. The poster identified the situation as bullying and then the focus of the post took a turn from providing support to an individual about an actual problem to the misuse of the term bullying. Seriously? Sometimes a little empathy can go a long way.

[Angeljho, MSN, NP]

On one hand I do feel like people overuse the term bullying to the point that's starting to lose its power. Nowadays, everything is bullying, especially if the person on the receiving end doesn't like what you've said/done.

I think it really devalues what people who are going through real bullying are going through.

I think a lot of people have started to become unable to take constructive criticism, but then you have something like the Internet that blows everything out of proportion. The anonymity of the Internet can be a scary, scary thing and I think a lot of people show their true colors because they can "get away with it" in this platform.

I think the problem is that some people don't know how to give constructive criticism; and yes, there is a way to give constructive criticism. It's a technique/method to it. You have to be mindful of how you deliver your message and how your opinion is received, especially if you're giving criticism on a forum. We should take note of what we're saying and how we're saying it when electing to provide constructive criticism.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

Where'd you get your PhD in psychology? You have me totally figured out. You must be really bright. I wish I could work with you. You should look up the DSM V criteria for narcissistic personalty disorder when you get a chance.

What I'm saying and what you said is totally inappropriate for the workplace. That was what I was trying to say.

Note to self: I only replied to this post because it was requested. File under "I've been bullied" mentality.

[mariebailey, MSN, RN]

Note to self: I only replied to this post because it was requested. File under "I've been bullied" mentality.

It is not necessary to make a "note to self" in a public forum that will be viewed by thousands. FYI.

[VANurse2010]

I think the problem is that some people don't know how to give constructive criticism; and yes, there is a way to give constructive criticism. It's a technique/method to it. You have to be mindful of how you deliver your message and how your opinion is received, especially if you're giving criticism on a forum. We should take note of what we're saying and how we're saying it when electing to provide constructive criticism.

Agreed. Just because criticism is valid doesn't per se make it constructive.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

It is not necessary to make a "note to self" in a public forum that will be viewed by thousands. FYI.

Under certain (extreme) circumstances it is indeed necessary to ensure that one is not misquoted. This circumstance applies. Retiring from this thread. Others will no doubt carry on for me.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I think this whole campaign to convince people people are crying bully prematurely was started by a bunch of bullies. And people who use sarcasm, eye-rolling, gossiping, information hoarding, disregarding your needs/concerns are just doing the socially acceptable form of bullying...but it's still bullying. There are many, many ways to make a person feel intimidated or threatened. People should be civil in the workplace, whether they like their co-workers or not.

The post that proves the point . . . .

Just can't wait to see what the poster comes up with next.

[mariebailey, MSN, RN]

The post that proves the point . . . .

Just can't wait to see what the poster comes up with next.

It does nothing to prove that point. Nothing. I see more posts about the word bully being abused than I see posts about what to do about incivility in nursing. What I stated simply implies that ******** should have enough sense to refrain from playing such games in the workplace. People need to grow up and get over themselves, at least while they work a 12 hour shift with me. I am not a victim by any stretch. I work to correct ridiculous behavior if need be.

[Gooselady, BSN, RN]

The problem is that the 'bully mentality', from the INSIDE of the bully, is a classic victim mentality.

This explains WHY the bully does what they do -- a pre-emptive offense works best, in their view. And besides, AS a victim, because they are so victimized, how they behave is above reproach -- they are the victims!

The best thing (IMHO) said in this thread is that criticism is not always constructive.

I have yet to provoke myself being called a bully. EVER. And I have given feedback plenty of times. I do not criticize my coworkers. I have received 'feedback' and criticism paLENTY of times in 23 years. The difference is not sublime.

[sissiesmama, ASN, RN]

Yes! We had a student at my school who tried to get a couple of other students kicked out of the program because someone else overheard them saying she was annoying. That's it, she found out someone said she was annoying. She broke down in class as we were preparing to take an exam and told the professor that she was being bullied and that the emotional strain was too much for her to be able to take the test. She went to the dean and lied about the other two students stealing and was caught in her lie and failed for the semester. The whole thing was absurd, and all over being called annoying. She probably tells everyone she has PTSD now from the horrible bullying.

And she made their case for them - showed them she WAS annoying (plus a few other things too :)

Anne, RNC