I have wanted to be a nurse since I was in high school. I always thought it would be too hard, I couldn't do it...so I got an associate degree in computers....that was in 2001 and I STILL want to do nothing more than be a nurse. I currently work in the billing department of a medium sized law firm. I wake up thinking about nursing, I go to bed thinking about nursing. I feel that it is my calling.
I have 2 children- a 10 year old and a 19 month old...I also have a VERY un-supportive husband. I am the breadwinner in the household. I take care of every single aspect of life.
I have found a few part time evening LPN programs in the area, but I am worried that if I cut my hours back from work that I won't be able to afford a 2nd babysitter for the evenings. I also worry about not seeing my boys much.
I do not have any family here in Florida, so I have also considered moving back home (Indiana) where my boys and I could stay with my father and I could go to school full time and work part time. I do have a really good job here in Florida and it does pay the bills and allows me the opportunity to take care of my family but it is not my dream...it is not nursing!!!!
I would love anyone's suggestions, point of view, comments. Sometimes when you are inside the box you miss very important details. I feel stuck. I am going to be 35 this year and just feel like I am wasting valuable time. I want a career not just a job, I want to help people...it is in me..it is what makes me.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? What did you do? What would you do?
Thank you :) I did shadow an RT last year and fell in love with thr entire hospital atmosphere. I was allowed to watch a few procedures and tour/shadow the ICU and children's ED. It was great!!!! I have this huge desire to help people, to make a change in the livesn of others.
I also thought about trying to get my CNA certificate this year and hopefully start an RN program next year....that way I could work as a CNA or aide while in school. I have a ton of office/legal skills and experience but most of those jobs work day time hours and thats when I need to be in class
The LPN program I found here is from 6-10pm Monday-Thursday and clinicals on the weekend. I guess I have some serious planning and saving to do!! :)
Mjcosb0- I wish you all the best as well!!!! I feel like when we want something so bad it always is so hard to get it. Keep in touch with me. If I move back to Indiana we will be long distance neighbors!! Hugs.
I was in a 16 year marriage where my ex-husband did nothing and I was the breadwinner. I had always dreamed of pursuing my medical career, but had to put it on hold because I had to work to support the family, pay the bills, etc.
If your husband is working a part-time job for his "spending money" and doing nothing to contribute to the household or raising his own children, then you need to make him get a full-time job or start participating with care for his kids.
You can't just pack up & go to Indiana. If you move out of state without a court order in place, the state of FL can force you to bring back the kids. That's a fact, not legal advice.
I feel for you. I've been through it myself. I ended up not being able to pursue my dream until I was 42 years old. I just wish I would have taken the reins sooner with my ex.
Going to nursing school and working full time is not going to be do-able unless you've got a lot of support at home.
Get your family issues resolved before trying to embark on this or it's going to be a giant ball of stress & strife.
I was with an unsupportive man for a long time. He told me constantly that my "head was in the clouds" and bashed everything I wanted to do to improve myself. One night while I was out with a friend she told me, "you deserve to be with someone who raises you up, not someone who tears you down." For some reason that really struck a cord with me and it set the wheels in motion to leave him. I didn't have children with him (thank GOD!) but marriage was on the horizon and that made it difficult, even though I knew our relationship was sick and he was abusive. But I did it, and now years later I'm with that person who raises me up. My friend was right and EVERYONE deserves that!
If this is your dream, don't let it go. If you decide to leave your husband, you will be ok. Your boys will be ok. People in the very same situation as you do it every day. If you want to stay with your husband you need to have a serious conversation with him and tell him that this is what you're doing, period. He can support you or not, but it's happening, and if he wants the bills to be paid he needs to start pulling his weight and give up some of that "spending money." A marriage is a two way street and you have been giving for a long time. Now it's his turn. I have a 3 year old daughter so I know all about how difficult it is to find quiet time. But I've learned how to read with the t.v. on and how to make the most out of 10-15 minutes to myself (skim a chapter review, look at flash cards, etc.)
I believe in the power of determination. If this is what you truly want, you will find a way to make it work.
OP - Please change your avatar if you're using your picture. Not a good idea to provide personal identification on any social networking site.
On another note - have you thought about becoming a Hospital Unit Coordinator/Secretary to support yourself through nursing school? Your current skill set would be a real asset - you'd probably only have to complete a medical terminology course & some employers actually support or offer that training.
I think your idea of going with your father is a really good option (and I would think that if your husband consents to you taking the kids out of state, you wouldn't have any issues there). What would happen with your marriage if that were the case? I haven't seen anyone (though I'm sure it happens) successfully make it through nursing school while working full time, especially with a family. Support is VITAL. My husband watching our son have been an integral part of my success in school.
One thing that will really benefit you in nursing school- learn to stand up for yourself. Otherwise, other students will get opportunities while you get left behind, and you'll miss out on a lot. You need to learn to be your own best advocate. Consider what your kids are seeing here, too.
I was married for 15 years. My ex wanted me to be a SAHM solely and pretty much his maid. I had started my path for nursing before we got married and he made me quit school because it was an expense we didn't need. For the next 15 years, his whole focus was making money. Not me or our son who is now 8. I thought a lot about what I really wanted in life and decided to file for divorce and go back to school in the same week. My divorce was final about 7 weeks ago and I should be in the program in the fall.
If you decide to get a divorce, and move back to Indiana you should know a few things. If he decides he wants joint custody, you will have to get approval from a court to move or go anywhere. When you file they will automatically put a property restraining order in place. This means you absolutely cannot leave the state without a judge's approval. No property or assets will be allowed to be sold. I would speak to an attorney before making any life decisions.
Come back to Indiana and join us Hoosiers!!! Ivy Tech is a big nursing program here where you can get your associates in nursing. They have recently partnered with U of I where you can work on your BSN while getting your ASN. The only thing I would be concerned about with your previous degree is financial aid running out. I have also heard the nursing job market in Fl is not very good, but that is just word of mouth. Good luck.
Lose your man. Any man that only works part time while his wife is THE breadwinner is a loser (unless he is, of course, taking care of the kids). You will be fine. If you go to a community college for nursing the tuition will not be that expensive and you will be able to get enough financial aid in grants and loans to cover your living expenses and childcare. Yes, you will have a little more student loan debt, but as an RN you will be able to pay it back pretty fast. You CAN do it without others around you to support you. I put myself through undergraduate and graduate school as a single mother, so I know you can too :) You ARE STRONG!!!!!
Aside from your family dynamic situation (sorry for that, I'm a man and find his type of behavior worth squat) Nursing classes and the process of being accepted into a program is a major hurdle just to begin with. Just be careful you don't rush into using the Nursing Degree idea as your savior, because it's going to put you through everything (in a way) that he is now, and not give anything tangible back for a while. Make sure you have all your cards in your hand, it's a lot to consider! Good Luck!
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
It sounds as though you have one foot outside your marriage already. If that is the case, consult a lawyer and get all of your ducks in a row before you make any announcements of any plans.
If you're not on the way out of your marriage, you need to sit hubby down and explain to him how things have to change. You shouldn't have to hire a second babysitter if your husband works only part time. They're HIS kids, too and he needs to step up.
School seems to be a secondary issue -- once you get your marriage situation nailed down, you can address it.
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klwinkleman
20 Posts
Thank you :) I did shadow an RT last year and fell in love with thr entire hospital atmosphere. I was allowed to watch a few procedures and tour/shadow the ICU and children's ED. It was great!!!! I have this huge desire to help people, to make a change in the livesn of others.
I also thought about trying to get my CNA certificate this year and hopefully start an RN program next year....that way I could work as a CNA or aide while in school. I have a ton of office/legal skills and experience but most of those jobs work day time hours and thats when I need to be in class
The LPN program I found here is from 6-10pm Monday-Thursday and clinicals on the weekend. I guess I have some serious planning and saving to do!! :)
Mjcosb0- I wish you all the best as well!!!! I feel like when we want something so bad it always is so hard to get it. Keep in touch with me. If I move back to Indiana we will be long distance neighbors!! Hugs.