I was violated by a doctor

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · Oct 9, 2009

I'm far away from being an atheist (jumping quick to conclusions huh?) however I dont agree with certain religious teachings/laws. I quess I dont agree with how religious doctors tend to force their believes on others, where is the tolerance you speak of then>

I am not sure how you got all these assumptions from my one post. I made no assumptions on you, I made a comment on your statement, I didn't speak anything about tolerance or make any assumptions of your religious beliefs.

Just want to clear that up since I am sitting here puzzled about where you got any of that from my post.

flightnurse2b, LPN · Oct 9, 2009

sorry this doctor was so ignorant to you.

that would have been the last thing on my mind if a patient told me they had a sore throat. i would be like hmm..strep, tonsillitis, flu, ear infection... but repeat HIV testing? jeez. asking you once, whatever. asking you multiple times--i dunno if could have kept my cool.

anyway, i think you should complain about this guy. write a letter to the clinic as well as the BBB... he was out of line to you and who knows how many other people he has treated that way too!

i hope you are feeling better!

JoblessRN · Oct 9, 2009

let start off by saying this - this was a nightmare from hell and i do not wish this on my worst enemy. please excuse the typo's - i am not a good speller. some backround information - i had tonsil pain/sore throat for about 10 days before seeing this doctor. i thought nothing of it really as i had no other flu-like symptoms and the pain was bearable. i wanted to be r/o for tonsilitis and recieve a course of antibiotics and some rest....no big deal. i belong to a health insurance company where the medical offices and the doctors are mostly seventh-day adventist. the sda's usually abstain from alcohol, smoking, caffiene, coffee and meat. most of them seem to be positive and nice people....this is not going to be a bashing vent. i saw this doctor, told him of my symptoms and he proceded to do an examination. the exam was fine....nothing out of the ordinary. when the doctor reviewed my medical record....he asked me about my sexual health history. "mr._____, i see that you came to our clinic a few months back for std/hiv testing. are you wanting to get tested today?" no, i was recently tested and i am fine. "mr._____, you are a homosexual and you are sexually active...there is a possibility that you may have an std and your tonsils may be sign of primary hiv infection".
this was uncalled for for several reasons... 1- i came to be seen to r/o acute tonsilitis - i have recurring tonsil problems i know my body cause its mine 2- my sexual health history has nothing to do with why i am being seen today 3- he is implying that i practice unsafe sexual relations....as my dad always said -"dont be a fool wrap your tool" 4- he statements leads one to believe that hetrosexuals do not have the same risks.
thuis doctor continued to press me for a std/hiv test. i told him i was tested in july at the public health department....why the public health dept mr.____? because this is why people hate coming to an adventist health clinic....you people shame them and make them feel like crap. at least at public health, they have seen it all and dont care. at county health it goes like this:"so you just came back from pride weekend in san francisco, hope you had fun...here is the lttle brown bag of condoms...have fun be safe",
i told him that i was fine and this issue was not why i was being seen....."well, mr.____, this is a public health issue you may have been blah blah blah". long story short.....i asked to have the chief attending come to assess me right then and there.....after some red tape bs he saw me. i was not given any hassle about my sexual health and was treated professionally. dx: acute tonsilities tx: z-pak antibiotics
let me vent here.....this is why i hate going to seventh-day adventist doctors (but my insurance trap me in a system of adventist health network). in my opinion adventism is a modern twist on racism and discrimination....it makes you feel like an outsider and a loser....in there minds you need to be perfect. nodody is perfect. this experience made me fell violated at the medical community as a whole.....i may be gay but i am deserving of respect and equality. i should have been treated for my presenting symptoms, not my previous visits history. i am proactive in my healthcare but never agin will i let myself be degraded and humiliated like that. just needed to vent....sorry if i offend anyone on here but my voice needs to be heard and this is how i feel....but i am also still in the trauma phase so in a few weeks i should be okay

all i can say is "i'm so sorry!" i am stunned by the horrendous ignorance of others.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Oct 9, 2009

in all fairness, you had a choice. you could have visited a more tolerant doctor rather than thinking a christian doctor was going to applaud you for being gay.
to be honest, i see you were treated professionally and all possible variables were discussed.

you know, i'm tired of fundamentalists promoting their own agenda being referred to as "christians," implying that those of us who aren't out persecuting gays or refusing to prescribe/dispense birth control aren't "real christians."

the op was limited by his insurance. he shouldn't have to seek out a "more tolerant doctor." and i see no where that he expected to be applauded for being gay. he expected to be treated with dignity and compassion -- as everyone is entitled to expect. not just pro-life heterosexuals who don't need birth control.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Oct 9, 2009

i have close friends at a major university campus clinic, and the number of coeds that come in with sore throats/abdominal pain that swear that they always use protection/or aren't sexually active that come up positive for stds/pregnant is astounding. i think that is appropriate screening for anyone who indicates that they are sexually active, regardless of gay/straight/bisexual orientation..
the other thing is as a single female who goes through long periods of abstinence, i have to deal with the perpetual pregnancy test issue. i go in for an xray/ct/procedure requiring sedation, and i know and can absolutely say with all certainty that i am not pregnant....but that does not matter. i still have to pee in the dad gum cup.
because as a woman, my medical care revolves around the possibility of being potentially pregnant.
i am so tired of having my insurance having to pay for unnecessary pee tests.

you said yourself that young women who "always use protection" or "aren't sexually active" still manage to test positive for pregnancy and/or stds. hence the reason for the pee test.

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Oct 9, 2009

The Mormons do have whacky believes,they dont believe in sex before marriage,birth control and kisses must be short (no french kiss before wedding night!) Yep,yep,I really dont understand why someone with such a radical points of views would become a doctor in America,sorry but such believes wont fly here in the States.

I'm not Mormon, and think that several of those beliefs are quite admirable(while not necessarily complying with them) and not "whacky" or "radical" at all. I know of plenty of flag waving American that would wholehearted

"fly with them" here in the states. And they certeinly make fine MDs. They just don't all enforce those beliefs on their pts.

Please don't generalize about "whacky believes" beliefs - it is just as bad as people generalizing about gays, etc.

abbaking · Oct 10, 2009

UPDATE - Thank you all of you for your feedback and reponse to this post. I have given this some thought and I will be making a formal complaint on monday morning with the administration.

I am thankful I have medical insurance during these tough economic times and i am glad that I am recieveing medical treatment for my tonsil affliction. That said, My experience going through this was not to my liking. In answering a previous posters question about having a "Choice of a MD to see" my insurance is comprised of a religious healthcare system of which most of the healthcare professionals are of a certain protestant demonination. It is difficult to express yourself honestly with someone who is shoving there personal beliefs down your throat...My old primary care provider had left to go to a world class hospital in LA...I wanted to be seen as soon as possible so I was assigned with a physician I had never met before.

In a nutshell I guess this all boils down to empathy and common respect for fellow man. I see both points of the story here...the doctor was putting 2 and 2 together but all it did was make me feel like a whore.

I really want to thank you all for your posts and helpful advise....Intolerance in the world is still a disease...worse than HIV or Swine flu.

As luck would have it....The chief attending for the intermal medicine clinic is now my primary care provider....He is a realist who couldn't care less about my orientation....His motto - Get in and Get out

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Oct 10, 2009

you said yourself that young women who "always use protection" or "aren't sexually active" still manage to test positive for pregnancy and/or stds. hence the reason for the pee test.

and this makes my point entirely.

i understand why i have to pay extra expense because of another's untrustworthiness. like the op, i am paying a price for others' bad behavior. i don't have to like it, but i am expected to deal with it.

the md, in his experience, has been questioned about need for std treatment, because that md has probably dealt with this problem in the past. grant you he should not have brought up the "homosexual" issue, but the consensus is that once the op denied the need for std testing, the md should have laid off the topic.

perhaps the md in question has known people to lie about this issue (many people are very reluctant to discuss these issues openly). as an onconnurse, the number of lymphoma pts that swear that they can't have hiv...but then come up as positive is astounding to me. as such, that might be why the md was persistant in his questioning. he knew, based on the pt's history, that he was possibly sexually active (irrespective of the op's sexual orientation), and wanted to rule something out.

thankfully, for the op, no one can force him to provide a specimen....unlike many women that are required to prove repeatedly that they are not pregnant before receiving needed care.

(i received a wild animal bite, in an area with an outbreak of rabies. the md refused to vaccinate me until a pregnancy test was resulted. i had to wonder whether if i had been pregnant, if they would just let me die rather than vaccinate)

Editorial Team / Admin · Oct 10, 2009

one final warning.

please do not bring religion into this debate.

note posts have been deleted.

RNKPCE · Oct 10, 2009

I think the title of your thread is inaccurate and phrased to create the presumption of a human rights issue where there is none. Its inciteful. You were offended by a doctor not violated. Did he hold you down on a table and swab your throat? Was there assault involved?
.

I have to say when I first clicked on this topic I was thinking that it was going to be about someone physically abusing a patient during an exam etc or a doctor physically touching a nurse inappropriately. This doctor offended you by asking you more than once and hounding you about whether you could have a STD etc. It was inappropriate and unprofessional. The title of of your topic would have been better as "Discriminated and offended by a doctor because of my sexual orientation"

I know I would have been offended the time I took my 13 year old daughter to urgent care for a fever if they had asked me more than once could she be pregnant. That was the first time that question had ever been posed to my daughter and I and it was shocking enough, though we realized that reality requires they ask. But one time fine, several times by the same provider offensive.

petunia2016 · Oct 10, 2009

I have to say when I first clicked on this topic I was thinking that it was going to be about someone physically abusing a patient during an exam etc or a doctor physically touching a nurse inappropriately. This doctor offended you by asking you more than once and hounding you about whether you could have a STD etc. It was inappropriate and unprofessional. The title of of your topic would have been better as "Discriminated and offended by a doctor because of my sexual orientation"
I know I would have been offended the time I took my 13 year old daughter to urgent care for a fever if they had asked me more than once could she be pregnant. That was the first time that question had ever been posed to my daughter and I and it was shocking enough, though we realized that reality requires they ask. But one time fine, several times by the same provider offensive.

One of the definitions of violated is "to treat irreverently or disrespectfully". It's pretty subjective. He can say he was violated because he feels violated, simple.

petunia2016 · Oct 10, 2009

update - thank you all of you for your feedback and reponse to this post. i have given this some thought and i will be making a formal complaint on monday morning with the administration.
i am thankful i have medical insurance during these tough economic times and i am glad that i am recieveing medical treatment for my tonsil affliction. that said, my experience going through this was not to my liking. in answering a previous posters question about having a "choice of a md to see" my insurance is comprised of a religious healthcare system of which most of the healthcare professionals are of a certain protestant demonination. it is difficult to express yourself honestly with someone who is shoving there personal beliefs down your throat...my old primary care provider had left to go to a world class hospital in la...i wanted to be seen as soon as possible so i was assigned with a physician i had never met before.
in a nutshell i guess this all boils down to empathy and common respect for fellow man. i see both points of the story here...the doctor was putting 2 and 2 together but all it did was make me feel like a whore.
i really want to thank you all for your posts and helpful advise....intolerance in the world is still a disease...worse than hiv or swine flu.
as luck would have it....the chief attending for the intermal medicine clinic is now my primary care provider....he is a realist who couldn't care less about my orientation....his motto - get in and get out

and "tolerance" isn't much better. someone "tolerates" an angry customer (or patient) at their job, because they need the income. someone "tolerates" being degraded by their boss because they feel they have no voice. someone "tolerates" a roommate's bad habits, for the sake of maintaining peace. the world "tolerate" implies simply putting up with someone, not trying to understand their viewpoint. if only "acceptance" were a disease.