Let start off by saying this - This was a nightmare from HELL and I do not wish this on my worst enemy. Please excuse the typo's - I am not a good speller. Some backround information - I had tonsil pain/sore throat for about 10 days before seeing this doctor. I thought nothing of it really as I had no other flu-like symptoms and the pain was bearable. I wanted to be R/O for tonsilitis and recieve a course of antibiotics and some rest....no big deal. I belong to a health insurance company where the medical offices and the doctors are mostly Seventh-Day Adventist. The SDA's usually abstain from alcohol, smoking, caffiene, coffee and meat. MOst of them seem to be positive and nice people....This is not going to be a bashing vent. I saw this doctor, told him of my symptoms and he proceded to do an examination. The exam was fine....nothing out of the ordinary. WHen the doctor reviewed my medical record....he asked me about my sexual health history. "Mr._____, I see that you came to our clinic a few months back for STD/HIV testing. Are you wanting to get tested today?" No, I was recently tested and i am fine. "Mr._____, You are a homosexual and you are sexually active...there is a possibility that you may have an STD and your tonsils may be sign of Primary HIV infection".
This was uncalled for for SEVERAL reasons... 1- I came to be seen to r/o acute tonsilitis - I have recurring tonsil problems I know my body cause its MINE 2- My sexual health history has nothing to do with why i am being seen TODAY 3- He is implying that I practice unsafe sexual relations....As my dad always said -"dont be a fool wrap your tool" 4- he statements leads one to believe that hetrosexuals do not have the same risks.
Thuis doctor continued to press me for a STD/HIV test. I told him i was tested in July at the public health department....Why the public health Dept Mr.____? Because this is why people hate coming to an Adventist health clinic....you people shame them and make them feel like crap. At least at public health, they have seen it all and dont care. At county health it goes like this:"So you just came back from Pride weekend in San Francisco, hope you had fun...here is the lttle brown bag of condoms...have fun be safe",
I told him that i was fine and this issue was NOT why i was being seen....."Well, Mr.____, this is a public health issue you may have been blah blah blah". Long story short.....I asked to have the chief attending come to assess me right then and there.....after some red tape BS he saw me. I was not given any hassle about my sexual health and was treated professionally. Dx: Acute Tonsilities Tx: Z-Pak antibiotics
Let me vent here.....This is why I hate going to Seventh-Day Adventist doctors (but my insurance trap me in a system of Adventist Health network). In my opinion Adventism is a modern twist on racism and discrimination....It makes you feel like an outsider and a loser....in there minds you need to be perfect. Nodody is perfect. This experience made me fell violated at the medical community as a whole.....I may be gay but i am deserving of respect and equality. I should have been treated for my presenting symptoms, not my previous visits history. I am proactive in my healthcare but never agin will i let myself be degraded and humiliated like that. Just needed to vent....sorry if i offend anyone on here but my voice needs to be heard and this is how i feel....but i am also still in the trauma phase so in a few weeks i should be okay
Clearly I have made a mistake here....I would like to apologize for my generalizations and my stereotyped attitude i presented in my OP. In no way did I intentionally mean to offend anyone in this post... I have oversteped my boundries and I sincerley apologize for this.
Apology gladly accepted. Don't feel like you can't vent your feelings or experiences here. I just wanted to give my reaction to a certain aspect of your post.
I am truly sorry that you had such a terrible experience. Nobody deserves to feel dehumanized in the way that you did.
I hope you are able to find a primary care physician that is able to restrict his or her history taking to relevant facts, and behave in a respectful and nonjudgmental manner toward you.
I am *not* excusing the poor communication between you and your doc, but I do want to give a little insight into his thought process.
Recurrent throat infections in a gay male (or for that matter, any sexually active person, gay or straight) would concern me, too. Strep is not the only reason for a throat infection; gonorrhea and chlamydia also cause this, more often than you would guess. This would be ascertained by a simple throat culture, however. The other thought is--why are you getting these recurrent infections? Could you be immunocompromised? I have seen several HIV+ men in which their first symptoms were persistent infections like this. I'm sure your doc has seen this, too. It would have taken one minute for him to explain his thought processes to you, so that you would understand why he was asking the questions.
Your doc should have ascertained that you have recently been tested for HIV, and what the causative bacteria have been from your previous throat infections. He should have also ran a sensitivity on the culture, to see if you are experiencing an infection from some sort of resistant bacteria that needs a different or longer course of antibiotics. Perhaps he did this, but because he wasn't communicating well, you don't know.
I'm sorry he made you so uncomfortable. I think the reasons behind his questions are sound, and I think he was trying to do right by you, but he wasn't going about it very effectively. I hope you are feeling better, and I'm glad you are not only responsible in your life, but a good advocate for yourself. May I suggest that you contact some sort of support group for gays and lesbians in your area and ask for a list of recommended docs, so that you can find one who is more accepting and experienced with treating gays? They are most definitely out there, and you would probably be more comfortable and get better care with such a physician. ETA: You can also ask your gay friends, or look in a local gay issues-oriented publications. There are docs who advertise their primary care services in these publications, and one of them would probably be a better fit for you. If they aren't on your insurance, look at your options--how much is out of network, and would it be worth it to pay the extra? Can you petition your insurance company to reimburse as in-network for the doc? Do you have other insurance options, including private insurance through your insurance agent (it can be cheaper than you realize)?
What a terrible experience! From your descriptions, it sounds like you are very proactive in monitoring your health. While I can understand the Dr. offering once - it was not right for him to push the issue - and even worse (if i read correctly) for him to press you on your sexual habits. I mean there are times when that type of questioning may be appropriate - but a sore throat... when there is a clear hx of recent testing - nope -not proper.
I suppose that life would be grand if everyone just treated others the way they'd want to be treated - but then reality sets in and you see that some people can be pretty harsh on themselves - so they have no hope of treating others any better. Mix that in with a few prejudices (whether based in religious beliefs or not ) and you unfortunately have the world we live in - riddled with hyprocracy and double standards. Keep your chin up and never forget that you have a place to vent to friends on here.
The fact that you feel violated clearly indicates to me that the physican was probably not communicating with you in the way that you needed. I am sorry that you feel violated and discriminated against.
However....this statement really stood out to me (I am a trained HIV counselor at a health department): I would like to clarify that i get rountinely tested for STD/HIV Q3/Q4 months.....
That statement is a red flag because when we see routine testing (esp. that frequently) it is an indication that you are may be engaging in some risky behaviours. This would be the case for any sexual orientation. If I were the physician I would have phrased it differently, not mentioning the homosexual part. The reason routine testing is of great concern is that some people believe that routine testing somehow protects them from HIV. It does not - reducing your risk factors (not engaging in unprotected sex, etc) protects you. As an HIV counselor I would want to make sure that you had a clear understanding of what your personal risk factors are, and how you can reduce them.
I do not mean this to be offensive to you, and I agree with you completely that the way the Dr. approached the subject was not appropriate. I am not a primary care physician, but I still think if I saw one of my patients getting tested so frequently I would want to address the issue of safe sex practices.
Specializes in trauma, ortho, burns, plastic surgery.
OH my God, again about communication twistening meanings and what he wants to say, what you whanted to say, what you understand, and what he understand and how everyone understand just what he wants to uderstand and interpret.... is twistening...
Make thinks clear..., complicate thoughts=complicate life, tell him like this "Yes I am gay, please don't preach to me now, I don't want comments from you on this point of view, but I would like to see medical advices, yes I am active, yes I had last test on...date... and I am negative, yes I could do another one now if you think thatis necesarry, to be sure, What medical recommendation you have to me!
My opinion is that is about missunderstanding and lack of communication from both of parts, he don't need to like you but to respect you, ok? ANd give you good medical advices. And you need to don't fell like a "target" all the time, assume who you are and let him know your opinion!
A huge hug from here... this world become too complicated day by day, looooool
I think the title of your thread is inaccurate and phrased to create the presumption of a human rights issue where there is none. Its inciteful. You were offended by a doctor not violated. Did he hold you down on a table and swab your throat? Was there assault involved?
The doctor did have a sound medical theory in asking the questions he did. You have a history of being proactive about your health, why should he assume now that you do not wish to explore the reasoning behind recurrent infections? You have a risk factor that the doctor wants to explore so he can fix the issue.
Something I have noticed is some people have some areas of senstivity when in discussions and are likely to see discrimination or ill treatment where there is not because of this sensitivity. I'm guessing that you may feel frequently victimized or discriminated against because of your sexuality. Maybe its time to ask yourself how YOU feel about YOUR sexuality.
(I have a lesbian mother and have noticed that she often assumes discrimination even when I've had the same kind interaction with the same people and they are jerks regardless of sexual orientation).
I can understand why the doctor might ask you ONCE if you wanted to be tested, as you are homosexual and it is an identified risk factor of HIV. (I can see why a doctor would ask that as a routine question, but it doesn't excuse being tacky) However, he was very unprofessional to ignore the fact that you had already went to get tested on your own, as well as showing little sympathy to what you WERE suffering with, not what you 'might' have in his mind.
I am very sorry this guy was such a jerk. I hope you can at least switch to a doctor that is more like the one who actually gave you treatment.
I was thinking about going to Loma Linda University (SDA school) but for reasons almost identical to yours I have decided I'd rather relocate to go to a better school.
Clearly I have made a mistake here....I would like to apologize for my generalizations and my stereotyped attitude i presented in my OP. In no way did I intentionally mean to offend anyone in this post... I have oversteped my boundries and I sincerley apologize for this.
Don't be a pushover! You were venting. Venting people tend to stereotype in the heat of the moment. We understand! :loveya:
seriously the doc was way out of line,I know several people who struggle with tonisilitis and yes it tends to be chronic and reoccuring at least twice a year so it really makes me think where did this MD in question got his medical diploma from ?>:loveya:
I agree with some other posters who said to question you once about it was prudent and appropriate, but several times was over the line and most likely related more to the MDs religious views vs his duties as a medical professional. I'm sorry you went through this, I would report it to your insurance company as well. Unfortunately, many doctors use their position of medical provider to peddle their own religious ideas. You're not the only one or part of the only group affected by this. I went to a gyno to get birth control pills. I wanted birth control pills, I put it on my reason for visit, told each person along the way that I was here for that, and was given no indication that this was an issue until the MD refused to prescribe them because he was pro-life. I could've understood and just left if any one of the personnel had told me before I went through the exam but I felt like such a sinner and like I'd already had an abortion just because I was requesting birth control. I don't understand how this MD thought that after he'd hoodwinked me into a full exam that I'd be open to a debate on abortion. Likely that doctor and your doctor share the belief that just by being almighty doctors, their lowly patients will listen to them and totally change their views because of it. Pfffftz. Good luck with finding another doctor. While I do not know if their was malice or not in his actions, you should just avoid him altogether.
In all fairness, you had a choice. You could have visited a more tolerant doctor rather than thinking a Christian doctor was going to applaud you for being gay.
To be honest, I see you were treated professionally and all possible variables were discussed.
nuberianne_RN
133 Posts
Apology gladly accepted. Don't feel like you can't vent your feelings or experiences here. I just wanted to give my reaction to a certain aspect of your post.