I scanned my list of patients for the day. Three unfamiliar names back to back in the morning; a prenatal visit, an INR (a patient on the blood thinner Coumadin) patient and a BP check patient. I knew the rest of the names on my schedule.
My first patient Pamela was 36 years old and 32 weeks pregnant. As I went through the prenatal questions, I watched the joy in her eyes and the peace on her face and felt my gut tighten. When she answered yes to the question of domestic and physical abuse in the past, I felt an inner prompting to ask the question burning inside me.
"Pam, have you seen the light?" I had this weird knack of sensing if a person had a NDE (Near Death Experience) in the past. I always saw serenity in them, no matter how bad of a situation they were going through physically, mentally or emotionally. The calmness always triggered my questions as I have a burning desire to know about the other world, our true home!
Pam smiled and softly replied, "Yes!"
"Would you mind sharing the experience with me?"
"Not at all!" She replied.
"So when did you see the light?"
"When I was being stabbed 44 times by my ex in front of our 4 year old daughter."
"What?!"
"Yes, it's true. He was always physically abusive to me."
"How did you survive?"
"My friend had called the cops. They were on the other side of the door, trying to get to me. I had to hold on as I was afraid he would kill my daughter once he killed me."
"So at what point did you see the light?"
"While he was stabbing me, I felt myself slip out of my body and travel in this beautiful light. I saw Him. Jesus! He told me not to worry. That everything will be all right. I then came back into my body."
"How did you get out of the apartment?"
"After he stabbed me 44 times, he opened the door for the cops and they arrested him. The cop had to step over my body to get my daughter."
I sat there stunned, listening. "Is your daughter ok?"
"Yes, she is better now but we both had to get help to recover."
"What about the ex? Where is he now?"
"He served time and is out and moved away."
"Do you worry about him?"
"No, I trust in the Lord. Like he is said everything is OK. I am married to another man who is very loving and I am happy with him."
"How do you use this experience?"
"I speak to others about my experience especially to my daughter's friends. They are 16 year olds and both my daughter and I speak to them especially if they have weird boyfriends that are controlling."
"What do you have to say to the world as a survivor?"
"Be there for others, whether you are a parent, friend, neighbor or acquaintance. I had no support system from family or friends when I was being abused except that one friend who saved my life. Don't be silent, but reach out and help."
I asked her permission to share her story and she said softly," By all means! If my story can save a life, my life is worthy of Him!"
I thanked her and had to center myself in my office for five minutes before I called in the second patient.
As he walked in, a young 35 year old called Mathew Joseph, my heart sank! "Another one Lord?" I mentally asked as I smiled and shook hands with him. As I checked his INR (Blood test) and reviewed his medical history, he answered calmly, the peace sitting strangely in direct opposition from all the medical issues he was having. He had three cardiac surgeries in the past and was on disability. So was his wife who had chronic back problems. He had an adult stepson and a 16 year old that was struggling academically and was in summer school. He matter of fact told me that every day was a struggle to live and sometimes he had to choose food over medicines. His INR was within range and we discussed his Coumadin dosing and follow up appointment and gave him a printed calendar with instructions, dosing and follow up appointment. Now that was out to the way, I turned to him and asked him,
"How do you manage all this? You seem so calm!"
He smiled and said, "Because I live in faith."
"You have seen the light, haven't you?"
"Yes! How do you know though? No one has asked me before."
"I am not sure but I see the peace on your face and felt it. Can you tell me how?"
"My first surgery. During the operation, I saw myself leaving my body and going to the light. I saw him, Jesus! He told me that my purpose in life was not over and I had to come back to earth. I didn't want to but I came back like he wanted me to. They told me that they had to do CPR in the table."
"How did you feel Mathew?" His eyes shone with tears of joy!
"Happy! I did not want to leave him. He is beautiful, so full of love"
"Have you ever read Embraced by the light by Betty J Eadie? That book changed my life and gave me a better understanding of life and death."
"No, can you write it down for me?"
"Sure", I wrote in on a yellow sticky and gave it to him. He looked anxiously at the paper and something tipped me.
"Do you have difficulty reading?" I asked him calmly.
"Yes! I read but cannot comprehend or sound it out although; I understand it kind of in my head. I grabbed another sticky and wrote a number for the college of optometry in my city that gave children and adults with reading comprehension issues vision therapy that dramatically helped them improve. I should know, as my oldest went through vision therapy and is a third year student in college now and my youngest is presently getting vision therapy and is "graduating" next week as per her optometrist. Mathew was very happy and grateful. I realized that hardships in my life were to be used to better his life. We need to share our knowledge to help one another and better each other's life.
We briefly discussed the great spiritual battle for souls between good and evil that is happening in the unseen spirit world. He shared with me that he had seen evil, take shape by his bedside in the form of a handsome "doctor" who wagged his fingers at him and told him that he would die and not make it through operation #2.
"How did you know that he was evil, Mathew? "I asked curiously.
"His eyes had so much hatred for me and I sensed something bad around him."
"Well? How did you respond?"
"I told him that I was ok with dying as I was going to Christ and I was happy about that" he smiled.
"Then what happened?"
"He disappeared on me, just like that! Poof! My wife was entering the room and did not even see him."
"Do you tell her?"
"Yes! She had a hard time believing me but that's ok! I just don't understand one thing. What is my purpose in life?"
"That is a tough one Mathew but I think our purpose in life is to be the best version of ourselves daily and love one another like He loved us."
"That's it?"
"Yup! You don't have to be a saint or sinner, rich, poor, talented or not, just put in the effort daily, be kind to each other and appreciate life daily. Sometimes when you are in a hospital/clinic/medical setting you might meet someone whom your stories inspire. This is what you are made for. There may or may not be an 'aha' moment".
"So do your best daily?"
"Yes! Mathew! Let your life be an example for others. Practice what you preach as actions are louder than words!"
He left happy. I needed another five minutes breather in my office to recover as I mulled over our conversation. This was turning out to be a strange day---! I called in my third patient. A ninety year old called Eva Garcia for a BP check! Even though she was frail, she had a mischievous glint in her eyes and a ready smile. Her daughter Ava wheeled her in! This had to be a cosmic joke, I thought! Another one that has seen the light! What are the odds?! Maybe, I am meant to write about their experiences, I thought---.
The visit was straight forward. Her BP was better than mine. We discussed diet, meds, monitoring BP at home and any concerns. As I wrapped up the visit with questions about her support system, I learned that she had lost her husband when she was in her early 20's, never remarried and took care of 4 children, the youngest Ava was 7.
"You were young Senorita Eva. Did you not want to marry?"
"No! I was not comfortable as I had 2 daughters and did not want to bring a strange man into the house."
"Wow! How did you manage?"
"Times were hard but I did. We were poor but happy. All my kids are settled. Ava is a retired teacher now!"
"You should be proud. Did you miss your husband?"
"Yes but he wanted to take me to the light"
This was my opening---! "What do you mean Senorita? Did you have a near death experience?"
"No! Never, but I dreamed him after the funeral."
"You did? What did you see?"
"He was in the light calling me to come to him. I told him no, the children were too small and I had to take care of them."
"Did it give you strength to go on?"
"Yes, and everything turned out ok. I am happy." I thanked her and Ava wheeled her out.
I had asked all of them if I could share their stories and they were happy about it and gave me permission to share this with all of you readers. I noticed that they were happy to be asked and share their experiences with me. They did not fear death but lived each day to the fullest doing their best. There was a calmness and peace about them as they had seen the other side and did not fear it.
I felt privileged to hear their stories and I am sure many more patients, visitors and family members have experiences like this to share. I make it a point to ask code survivors that are awake if they had any out of the body experiences that they remembered. It is an opportunity for them to relive their experiences in a nonjudgmental environment. I feel that as nurses we have a tremendous opportunity and responsibility to help our patients through their experiences. I did not take extra time talking to them but instead got this information as part of their visit as I provided them care. I have always felt blessed to be a nurse and always feel humbled at the opportunities I am given to help another soul on its journey back to the light!
