I saw my first patient that died today...

Cattitude · Feb 27, 2007

does it get easier?

yes and no. and remember, we all react very differently to death, even in our professional capacity.

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[color=#483d8b]for me, deaths in the hospital did get better as my experience grew but then i had a harder time dealing with families. i'm a big softie and seeing families upset would get me all teary eyed. but it made me empathetic and obviously able to be caring. i really was ok abaout being able to leave it at work.

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[color=#483d8b]and then came home health. this job makes it much harder to deal with death and dying as you have your pt's longer than a few days. i have some for months and years.

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[color=#483d8b]death is individual, personal, and so powerful. as nurses we have the opportunity to be a part of that ending of life and it's definitely a learning process. i'm still learning. it's ok to be nervous ,ok to be sad, ok to be confused. we are human too.

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Tweety, BSN, RN · Feb 27, 2007

Yes it does. It is hard when it's someone you've gotten to know. We're human beings with feelings, not robots.

cardiacRN2006, ADN, RN · Feb 27, 2007

Yes and no. Although I am a newer nurse, I've had to do post-mortem care on plenty of patients as a tech.

You may find it easier to not notice, or easier to detach yourself from it. But you will always (hopefully) look upon the patient and recoginize that it's still a person who has a sad family who misses this person.

Always treat them as if it were your own family member.

TazziRN, RN · Feb 27, 2007

The first one is always the hardest. You have mixed emotions about the whole thing, and it will be on your mind for a while. Happens to all of us. "Easier" isn't really the right word, we just learn how to cope with it. You will too.

fultzymom · Feb 27, 2007

The first experience is always hard! I can not say that it necessarily is easier but you get better at dealing with it. If you work in LTC, it is so easy to get attached to patients you are with on a daily basis. They almost become your extended family. So sorry that you had to go through it.

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Feb 27, 2007

In my experience it was not the first adult death that bothered me so much but the first fetal demise that I was really involved with that really tore me up. Of course the adult death was a very moving experience but I was ok with it because this lady had made her DNR wishes known and her family respected that. Even though it was sad (of course), I knew that lady was at peace and her daughters (who were at the bedside when she died) were too.

The first IUFD that I was a big part of tore me up for a long time. I had trouble sleeping for several nights afterward, as all I could see when I closed my eyes was that baby. It has gotten easier to cope with but that doesn't make it any less sad each time it happens. You still hug, cry, grieve with your families. You learn from each experience, and yes, keep those pts/families that you were especially close to with you forever.

Janus Rising · Feb 27, 2007

Doing postmortem care was never a problem for me. While I'm not religious, I do believe that dying usually ends a person's suffering and I'm honored to be able to be with them at that moment (ok, re-reading that sounds like I'm killing them.. but you all know what i mean I hope). The first death I ever handled was a resident that I was VERY close too.. I was actually the only one she would allow to come near her (I think I reminded her of her son... we're both big guys and have blond hair). I was actually in the room when she passed. The hardest part of it all was expecting her to breath again. It freaked me out a little because it just... stopped. But the whole pm care thing wasn;t that big of a deal.

texaschick · Feb 27, 2007

For me it depends on the way they died and their age along with if the family was prepared. I work in the ER and the traumatic injurys and children bother me the most I don't know that I ever will get use to it. I work I an urban area with high crime and I see alot of shootings stabbings and MVC patients. I will never get use to children CPR's especially the abuse cases. The older patients are getting easier but it is hard emotionally dealling with the families my heart breaks for them and their loss.

kathyhinsh · Feb 27, 2007

in my experience, it does get easier, but as i've only worked nights (agency) prior 2 becoming a student, i must admit i never had any worries about it, it just came as part of the job i spose...also i didnt get quite the same bond as a nurse who works days.

i hope u dont suffer too much from it, as i'm sure u r aware u will see plenty more in ur time nursing xx

heartlover07, RN · Feb 27, 2007

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death is individual, personal, and so powerful. as nurses we have the opportunity to be a part of that ending of life and it's definitely a learning process. i'm still learning. it's ok to be nervous ,ok to be sad, ok to be confused. we are human too.

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this is so true, i think what makes it hard is that it makes you confront your own feelings about death-which i am not sure of myself.

the first one is always the hardest. you have mixed emotions about the whole thing, and it will be on your mind for a while. happens to all of us. "easier" isn't really the right word, we just learn how to cope with it. you will too.

thanks for saying that, because i have been thinking about it quite a bit, and i was wondering if this is normal! i think what bothered me is that she was pretty young and she died from lymphoma-cancer is so scary to me..

heartlover07, RN · Feb 27, 2007

Thanks for all of the replies by the way....I appreciate it!