I shouldn't be a nurse

Published

Have anyone ever made such a horrible mistake it almost killed someone? I did this week and can not stop thinking about it and feel like I should not even be a nurse! I'm a new nurse and feel like I'm too stupid to be a nurse :(.

Specializes in Critical Care/Vascular Access.

When I was in clinicals an order had changed on a patient's med which I didn't catch, nor did my instructor although they had accompanied me in giving the med. I ended up in a similar situation. Most importantly of all, the patient in both of our situations was okay, although the nurses (you and I) may have been a little shaken up.

Here's the thing though, because of that incident, I have become twice as vigilant about giving meds as I probably would have been had that error not happened. I'm grateful it happened when it did and with the outcome that it did, I am a better nurse because of it.

Learn from it, be grateful the outcome wasn't worse, and move on with your head up.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pediatrics.

Hugs......

I was just there about a month ago, made a med error during a code. My pt is okay, but I was so sick about it afterwards....I posted about it, can't seem to get the thread to link.

But what helped was talking about it, realizing my misstep and learned how to improve and not make the mistake again.

Talk to your EAP if you can. Look at others stories to see there is no perfect nurse.

Learn from your mistake and importantly forgive yourself

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med-Surg, Emergency, CEN.

How to get past this:

(Pay attention, this will work!!)

1. Take a hot shower

2. Go OUTSIDE (go get a haircut, eat out at your favorite restaurant, anything but stay inside!)

3. Work out for an hour or two.

4. Get a big squishy hug from a family member or close friend

5. Think about what you learned and make a plan for next time.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I understand your frustration, and Hospital and older nurses can be very Judgmental. I have found that Nurses have a huge ego and all of them want to be superstars and shown themselves as perfect out in the floor. But you are not alone and your don't sound like a horrible person, you did a mistake and there was no death involve, this will open your eyes for now on to ask what you really don't know, and I know that is another challenge as a new nurse asking questions sometimes you find a good soul sometimes you find those smart ass nurses who will reply if you are an Idiot. but we all new nurses can make a difference and change this pattern, mistakes are human otherwise they should hire machines. Learn, vent it out with only people you can trust, not nurses in the hospital, unfortunately most people in your floor will spread the rumor is horrible, but do vent it out as much as you can. and come back to your floor stronger and smarter. Good luck and don't give up.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU, APHERESIS, IV THERAPY, ONCOLOGY, BC.

Experience comes in many different forms. This is one of them. Hang in there!! :shy:

Big HUGS - and like so many other posts, ask for counseling to assist you through this period of grief and anxiety.

Just remember there are some key learning points from this experience which you stated already. Now you have to remember them for future use in patient care.

1. If you are ever unsure- ASK FOR HELP.. NO ONE WILL FAULT YOU FOR THAT. You will save yourself so much anguish and possibly

the life of the patient.

2. You felt insecure at that time but did not ask - that is a big clue to your situation. Were you stressed or simply wanted to show that you were competent. - Not smar. Now you need to learn how to react through this steep learning and painful curve for all future care.

3. Remember ASK- I think that there is no nurse no matter how many years of experience and knowledge, who has the right answer to every clinical situation today. I still ask when I am not sure.

3. You are a new nurse. Your learning is steep as you enter clinical practice. Everyone will be there to help you. There may be a few who will put you down, but you will learn who is supportive and who is not. Your communication skills and learning will be greatly enhanced as well as slowly building your clinical skill and competence level.

4. Most important, remember asking is not a sign of weakness. It is smart and responsible.

5. Take this time to heal and to learn from the experience. if you choose nursing, then all the very best. You will have learned from

this error.

God Bless and take care

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC, PACU, Psych, OB/GYN, ED.

All nurses make mistakes in their career, most early on IMHO. Here's the thing...as new nurses, we all want to "prove" ourselves. Most of us feel weak or incompetent if we ask for help from a more seasoned nurse. And let's face it...the old-timer nurses are sometimes not too kind to the newer grads, which makes the new nurses scared to ask for help in fear of being looked down upon.

The good news is...you made a mistake that you recognize was a mistake. I would bet money you will not make that mistake again. Was this an error that you think could be made again by another nurse at your facility? If so, report it. My hospital system recognizes nurses for making "good catches" & reporting errors...by reporting, these mistakes are prevented from happening again. Also, they do not penalize nurses on their first offense if it is reported.

Nursing is a tough job, probably one of the toughest. We are expected to work 12+ hour shifts with very little time to even pee, let alone drink a coffee and unwind. Most units are short-staffed, or have a lot of turnover. This also creates a lot of margin for error.

Listen to that little voice in your head that says "this isn't right, ask for help, are you sure?" If you have to second guess yourself, it's worth asking another nurse to verify. Everytime I give a med via IV, I always have another nurse verify, or I even read the orders to the patient and show them the vial/bag.

You are not "too stupid" to be a nurse. You passed school, you passed the NCLEX, you have a license. Don't sell yourself short. "Stupid" nurses are the ones who cannot recognize their own errors, or worse, attempt to cover them up.

Just breathe :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×

The biggest thing is to forgive yourself and any emotional attachments you have with the situation. You are human and are a wonderful creature. Know this: It's ok to make mistakes, even mistakes that hurt.

Nursing students are not perfect, Nurses are not perfect, and Doctors are not perfect. We all make mistakes and might someday hurt someone. I seriously doubt that you wanted to harm this individual due to your personal guilt. If you did then I would suggest finding some other line of work.

The best thing to do is use some type of emotional/physical support system such as an EAP (Employee Assistance Program). You need to tell a therapist, to recount the experience in detail step by step. This will help you get some perspective on how you can't judge past mistakes but understand where you make the mistake. The old saying To Err is Human”. Plenty of police, firemen, paramedics, nurses, doctors, etc. go through this in our world. If you can learn from the past and change your future by different actions and behaviors then you have succeeded and overcome it. It's not easy, I give you that, but it's worth trying.

If you are having physical symptoms such as stress, headaches, fatigue, loss of appetite, sexual dysfunctions, nausea, weight gain/weight loss, flashbacks, nightmares, insomnia you will need some help. It's ok to reach out and ask and get help. Please just get some help. I wish you luck.

Crew2Nursing.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I am so sorry. It is the worst feeling in the world. Please don't beat urself up over this. Like its been said in many comments before, you are human. At least you went & got help when u realized. Unfortunately I have worked with someone that just to scared to say any thing & that ended very badly.

I always say "I make a ton of mistakes, but i will not make the same mistake twice." All you can do is learn from it & move on.

love n hugs

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Here's the thing...as new nurses, we all want to "prove" ourselves. Most of us feel weak or incompetent if we ask for help from a more seasoned nurse. And let's face it...the old-timer nurses are sometimes not too kind to the newer grads, which makes the new nurses scared to ask for help in fear of being looked down upon.

The sad fact is that by this attitude the new nurse is risking their patients safety needlessly because of their own pride/ego.

I strongly recommend that new nurses who feel the need to prove themselves at the expense of practicing safely take time to reflect hard on what is at stake for patients and their families. Read the Nurse Practice Act for your state; read the Nurses' Code of Ethics; read the Patient's Bill of Rights; read the risk management information provided by your nursing malpractice insurer. Try to grasp what is at stake for patients and their families. Reading case studies provided by one's malpractice insurer, and viewing tabled data of nursing malpractice instances that resulted in patient deaths or severe patient injuries is sobering reading.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Acute Care - Adult, Med Surg, Neuro.

When I was a new nurse, another new nurse had a situation occur that most likely resulted in a patient's death (I was not closely involved). I never judged her, there by the grace of god go us. It could be anyone that this happens to. Therefore, as another poster stated, you will get no judgement from me.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Today, nursing students often do not receive sufficient clinical training in nursing school to render them able to practice safely at the level of the novice nurse when they start practice, and facilities often do not provide lengthy preceptorships and/or nurse residencies for new nurses. This is a big problem for patients and their families, who have the right to expect to receive nursing care from a clinically competent nurse.

It is also a big problem for new nurses. Regardless of the quality/amount of hands on clinical training one receives in nursing school, upon graduating and beginning paid employment as a licensed nurse, one's nursing practice is held legally and professionally to the Standard of Care. The Standard of Care is the professional standard of care that a licensed, competent and prudent nurse is held legally accountable for providing. The Standard of Care is the same for beginner nurses as it is for nurses with 30 years of experience.

While I have sympathy for the fact, that, of course nurses make mistakes; some mistakes are quite avoidable. I am addressing this comment to all nurses, new and experienced, when I say that having the attitude that one is too proud to ask for help, and is willing to put patient safety at risk and to risk injuring or killing patients, is inexcusable. It is also a failure to meet the Standard of Care, for which one is legally and professionally accountable.

I also believe that as a new nurse one has a responsibility to the public not to accept a position, or to withdraw from a position, where one does not receive sufficient orientation/ preceptorship and support from experienced nurses to enable one to provide safe patient care.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

(((scarednurse))))

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

I'm a new RN and working my first job since November and ask a lot of questions at work and always get gracious answers but........ just last night for the first time, an RN made a comment about it. It may have been because I was asking a question before I was even punched in which she was laughing about. It may have been innocent and good natured but sadly, as you experienced, the nursing culture can be very nasty and unhelpful.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion