I notified the wrong family of a death

[kcmRN]

Tonight, I made the worst mistake of my career. I work part-time in an LTC facility. In a rush to call a very caring family to notify them of the death of their loved one, I pulled the wrong chart...I called the wrong family. This family member I called came out to the facility and hugged me. She told me it was ok, that she forgives me, but I can't get this out of my head. I can never take those word back, or make this un-happen. How do I get past this?

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

They forgave you so the least you can do is forgive yourself.

It happens, we are all human.

Move past it.

[eriksoln, BSN, RN]

Five years from now, you'll be telling the story and laughing (laughing like I am now............sorry, I just can't stop laughing).

[mommajoz]

A few years ago we recieved a call that my husband's aunt had died, when in fact she was alive and well! It is now something that we all share a giggle about. There were no feelings of ill-will toward the nurse that made the mistake, only relief. As others have said- you are only human.

Take care

[gettingbsn2msn, MSN, RN]

This is exactly why workers should not be overworked. Possibly a mistake could have been made, but probably less likely had the workload been less.

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

Thank you all, so much for your hugs and words. Just seems like these things are hard to explain to people outside our profession. I know we all make mistakes, but this one...a huge lesson I wish I didn't have to learn the hard way. It just shows how profound the mistakes can be when in a rush and honestly, overwhelmed. This particular shift also included 2 falls and 2 admissions on a shift I don't usually work in a facility only work in part-time. I'm re-thinking this arrangement.

We ALL have made some pretty big mistakes!!!!! Anyone that says they haven't is either REALLY LUCKY or a COMPULSIVE LIAR!!! The trick is to learn from this....and it sounds like you have.

This is actually more common than anyone will admit. A case of mistaken identity.....I remember in Indiana...there was a story about 2 girls involved in a car accident both with facial trauma....anyhow it was many months later. The live girl was the other families daughter and the deceased belonged to the family that thought that their loved one survived. http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2006-05-31-indiana-mistaken-identity_x.htm

I have personally witnessed someone make a similar mistake in allowing the identifying 2 severly burned individuals by nail polish colors......when the survivor awoke and was extubated they asked why are you calling me *****.

I, on a particularly busy night in the ED, sent families to he wrong deceased room. Imagine the look on my face when after a round of hysteria the one and the daughter says......."That's not Momma!" s***.....oops...

Love yourself enough to forgive you!!!!!!!:redbeathe

[merlee]

Well, at least you didn't wrap the wrong patient for the morgue! Yes I know you feel terrible, and you will cringe about this for a very long time.

Try to take care of yourself, stop what you are doing to take long, deep breaths a few times a day, and remember that you are doing very well 99% of the time!

Best wishes!

[PinkRocksLikeMe]

((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Your worst punishment is going to be YOU being mad at yourself! You sound like a good nurse and the family that was notified wrong took the time to come up there and tell you it was ok speaks alot of your character!! It was an MISTAKE. Stop beating yourself up:heartbeat, and do something to relax you and realize it is already done and you will be more vigilant next time before you call a family I PROMISE!

Jenn

[leslie :-D]

Well, at least you didn't wrap the wrong patient for the morgue!

boy, can i think of a couple of pts that i would have loved to wrap up.

woulda, coulda, shoulda

thanks for the laugh.

leslie

[aam83]

The best news about this mistake is that you didn't cause any harm. Don't beat yourself up. I'm sure you'll never make the same mistake again.

[Batman25]

I'm sorry. Forgive yourself and move on. The one thing we have in common is we ALL make mistakes. That was very nice of the other family member to come in and hug you. Hang in there. This too shall pass.

[Voice for theFamily]

I was wrongly notified of my Fathers death and it was not alright with me. I was deeply upset and am still affected...

[evolvingrn, BSN, RN]

I was wrongly notified of my Fathers death and it was not alright with me. I was deeply upset and am still affected...

Are you a nurse or aspiring to the field? by your name im guessing not........ if so, this board probably isn't the best place to be the 'voice for the family'.