I notified the wrong family of a death

[kcmRN]

Tonight, I made the worst mistake of my career. I work part-time in an LTC facility. In a rush to call a very caring family to notify them of the death of their loved one, I pulled the wrong chart...I called the wrong family. This family member I called came out to the facility and hugged me. She told me it was ok, that she forgives me, but I can't get this out of my head. I can never take those word back, or make this un-happen. How do I get past this?

[Orange Tree]

(((hugs)))

You are only human. The "wrong" family obviously has a very high opinion of you- and probably for a good reason.

[evolvingrn, BSN, RN]

Oh wow, im sorry . While you can't undo this you can make sure next time even in your rush to double check the name . We all make mistakes and the best thing we can do is learn from them so they don't happen again. Hang in there.

[Chin up]

Believe me, the "wrong family" was relieved of your mistake. They also know how horrible you feel and that it was an honest mistake. Forgive yourself. Just a few days of beating yourself up is warranted. Dont belabor this and don't let coworkers keep this fresh in your mind. Good luck. Peace!

[madwife2002, BSN, RN]

I am sorry for what happened I have a similar story from 20 yrs ago and I beat myself up about it for a long time.

[canchaser, BSN, RN]

Don't beat yourself up. I was doing a compassionate care case in the ICU. I wrote on the board "keep Martha comfortable". I was mortified when I discovered I wrote the wrong name cause "Martha" was my other pt. I started crying immensely, this was also the anniversary of us doing this with my father in law. I got the hugs and understanding too! So just hang in there.

[nursel56]

:redpinkhe Sorry for what happened - give it time and be gentle with yourself - (((kcmRN)))

[kcmRN]

Thank you all, so much for your hugs and words. Just seems like these things are hard to explain to people outside our profession. I know we all make mistakes, but this one...a huge lesson I wish I didn't have to learn the hard way. It just shows how profound the mistakes can be when in a rush and honestly, overwhelmed. This particular shift also included 2 falls and 2 admissions on a shift I don't usually work in a facility only work in part-time. I'm re-thinking this arrangement.

[carolmaccas66, BSN, RN]

I know this is going to sound harsh, so let the criticism begin!

In my experience, many relatives would be expecting the call to say 'Granny/Mum/Dad has passed away'. I'm not saying they wouldn't be upset - and you might catch them at a bad time - but from my EXPERIENCE ONLY working in hospice and nursing homes, many people were actually relieved when their loved one died.

The family member was very understanding, some would chuck a hissy fit and threaten to sue. But I suppose one way for them to look at it, is their family member is still there, and someone elses isn't.

We all make mistakes when it's busy. I have worked in a high care dementia place where I had 65 patients to do meds for and supervise other staff, as the only RN. I am very surprised I never made a mistake that night, so your rush to get it all done was understandable. We have all made mistakes, so I suppose you can only learn from it and move on.

Write it all down in a journal - that will help and one day you may look back and smile at this situation.

[rita359]

This mistake did not go to waste. You learned from it and shared it with us. Each of us is reminded how easy it is to do something we might otherwise think unthinkable and we learn too. Thanks for sharing.

[Skwidward]

Like someone else said, most families are expecting that call.

Either way you obviously explained yourself well enough to be forgiven, well done. I mean, what could be a better outcome of this than the family member coming down and giving you a hug?

[nursing6207]

You learned from the mistake and I'm sure others have too. Unfortunately in our profession mistakes happen. Learn from it and move on. It will make you a stronger nurse :)