Ugh the last two weeks have been CRAP!!! But, some good has come of it. I'll share some good, bad, and ugly.
This week, I have learned:
1. Lexapro is a hell of a drug.
2. My body will crash my brain after 7 days of insomnia, and I will hallucinate by day 10.
3. My spouse has the patience of a saint.
4. The kickback of a gun is nowhere near as forceful as it looks.
5. I'm good at shooting!
6. I may or may not have a job right now.
7. I never expected to feel so indifferent regarding my employment status. It feels revealing to me to realize how unattached I feel to it. Maybe my dislike for it has really grown that much.
8. I feel like the Boy Child has suddenly grown more mature and its freaking me out a little. I know he's in the pre-teen zone, but I'm not ready for this. I find myself checking in on him often and smothering him with mama love just to make sure my boy is still my boy. *sigh* This poor child is stuck with me.
9. If you tell them to stop building....
They will.
(I find this hilarious to an inappropriate degree.)
10. The A-Hole Dog only likes the dog park if she's on her leash. She also acts like she feels incredibly violated when another dog sniffs her butt.
11. Go to the following thread. Go to top comments, find on page, type "Robb Stark". Only do this if you are caught up on GOT. Also, only do this if you are not offended by politics, and if you do not plan in any way to come back here and blast me for sharing a comment that compares Trump to Joffrey and Balon Greyjoy.
12. I like my ellipses with 4 dots, just like I like my lights (THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!!!!). Farawyn, we can take this outside if you want....
13. The spouse and I owe so much money in taxes that I can't even. We changed exemptions when we got blasted by state last year. Didn't matter. We owe thousands to federal and the state we live in. As in, we owe thousands to federal and thousands more to state. Can't wait to see how much the state I work in swindled. I swear to the Bearded Commander Riker that we had more money on one crappy income than we have now, with me working, too. Maybe I need to not work during grad school. :\
14. I am so excited for grad school!!!
I know I'm forgetting stuff. Boo! I'll remember right after the edit window closes, I'm sure!
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Yes, not only nurses but also physicians. I worked on a floor some years ago with a high percentage of patients with mental health problems/comorbs and "pseudoseizures" (ok - that is not the correct term anymore but otherwise nobody knows what I am talking about ...).
The staff was very judgmental all around. I was very surprised by it, but that is how it was.
I know physicians who have bipolar disorder or depression and go through great length of hiding it - for good reasons. From not using insurance to private pay to see a psychiatrist and out of pocket payments for meds to avoid any records with insurance.
Stigma is huge but unless you are a hero and do not mind loosing your job/career it is better not to disclose it. The ones who disclosed had to because of some erratic behavior that had become obvious or to avoid getting fired. I doubt they would have disclosed otherwise.
I hope one day mental illness won't be so stigmatized because all of that is just ridiculous. No one should be in fear of their job because of a disease or disorder they have.
You tell someone you have cancer, they want to help you in any way possible. But you tell someone you are bipolar they run away from you like you have the plague!
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I remember disclosing-and I disclosed openly that I had PTSD...then there were the "performance concerns" when I made mistakes....they were securitized much more closely-won't make that mistake again!
I only feel safe enough here to disclose....the safety of AN!
This is the only place I have told people I am bipolar as well. I am actually kinda worried I might get my job offer rescinded because the doctor who was doing my physical found out I was bipolar & he seemed kinda concerned about me working.
I hope one day mental illness won't be so stigmatized because all of that is just ridiculous. No one should be in fear of their job because of a disease or disorder they have.
You tell someone you have cancer, they want to help you in any way possible. But you tell someone you are bipolar they run away from you like you have the plague!
One day everyone will realize how many people struggle with mental health. It'll be impossible to get all of us to quit! ADD and depression right here.
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
I'm sorry, but I laughed at this. At first I read it as you like coming here because we all have mental health disorders, instead of you like coming here because we understand.
Which is not untrue, but...
Well we did all choose to become nurses. Does that not make you question your sanity at times?
Hugs, ixchel!! I'm sorry you're going through such a rough patch.
Hugs, OC!! BTW, don't ever disclose. Employers suck. They're usually not malicious, but they always protect their own interests in whatever way they deem fit. It's always, "Sorry, but..." I wish I had some magic words for you. The only advice I have is to do the little things that make you happy and try to keep distracted until the depression passes. You can make it through. If you get to a place where you aren't safe, though, please get help. Wouldn't want to make Far cry, y'know.
I just came off three nocs and they were hell this past weekend. Is there some sort of universal disturbance going on? (Other than the election fiasco.) After my brain short circuited last week, I actually feel better, but it's like my job is out to get me.
I had a patient who flipped the drama llama on me for 6 freaking hours. I learned that I have no patience with 23 year old divas who are constantly starring in their own Lifetime movie. This is one of the few times in my life I have actually felt like I would have been happy if a person suddenly dropped dead in front of me. It might even have taken me an extra minute to get the code cart. Or ten.
The next shift I had an ED drop and run who tanked. No offense to ED nurses out there, I'm not targeting you in general, I'm targeting the nutso idiot who dropped off a hypotensive patient with no fluids running during the middle of shift change without giving me report. She had to go to the unit with a quickness! Same shift, I had a M/S hold patient who flipped into afib with RVR that wasn't initially responding to cardizem, so I was on the phone all night. I didn't get out of there until 9:30. Everybody lived through the night, though.
I learned a lot about cardizem and boluses. Also, don't call a cardiologist with a stat page unless someone's dying. HR in the 200s doesn't count. (I love this smiley. It's supposed to be "bored," but it makes me think of the side-eye look.)
The third night wasn't so bad, but I had to talk to several managers about the events of the weekend, so I still didn't get out until after 8.
I learned I can survive a lot, though.
As far as tapering on Lexapro, I didn't. I was very lucky. I started out strong on it, then I started forgetting to take it, then I forgot to refill it, then I was broke and had no insurance. I really think they should come up with monthly doses for everything for people with ADHD. I don't think I've ever even made it to the end of an antibiotic without missing at least one or two doses.
I haven't slept more than 5 hours for over a week now, so forgive me if this is more rambly than usual.
So, for those of you with bipolar, if you are forced by work/life circumstances into not sleeping much, does it make you feel like the Energizer Bunny? 'Cause I am way more revved than usual, even for my ADHD. I feel like my brain is buzzing.
I also learned what yurt means. I had never heard of that before. I learn something new just about every time I come on AN.
I'll join in on the Lexapro party. I have bipolar 2 & am on a tiny dose of Lexapro along with a mood stabilizer.
This week has not been treating me well. It's starting to look like I may need to leave my husband. He has suddenly become very verbally abusive & I fear for what comes next. I can't go through that again.
I'll join in on the Lexapro party. I have bipolar 2 & am on a tiny dose of Lexapro along with a mood stabilizer.
This week has not been treating me well. It's starting to look like I may need to leave my husband. He has suddenly become very verbally abusive & I fear for what comes next. I can't go through that again.
This is the only place I have told people I am bipolar as well. I am actually kinda worried I might get my job offer rescinded because the doctor who was doing my physical found out I was bipolar & he seemed kinda concerned about me working.
Sending positive vibes...
I felt that way when I got my current position...I sweated bullets each time I came to work, thinking that I would be outed any day from Employee Health; then I passed orientation and am still employed; if all else fails, at least I have experience!
I'll join in on the Lexapro party. I have bipolar 2 & am on a tiny dose of Lexapro along with a mood stabilizer.
This week has not been treating me well. It's starting to look like I may need to leave my husband. He has suddenly become very verbally abusive & I fear for what comes next. I can't go through that again.
Is there anything stressful in his world that may be changed? I've had this problem with mine. It's been intermittent and really escalated the end of last year. A huge adjustment in his work schedule made things so much better. That's not to say, "stay!", but to suggest one possibility. I do understand that point where leaving feels like the only option left. Hugs to you!
I'll join in on the Lexapro party. I have bipolar 2 & am on a tiny dose of Lexapro along with a mood stabilizer.
This week has not been treating me well. It's starting to look like I may need to leave my husband. He has suddenly become very verbally abusive & I fear for what comes next. I can't go through that again.
(I love this smiley. It's supposed to be "bored," but it makes me think of the side-eye look.)
OrganizedChaos, LVN
1 Article; 6,883 Posts
I hope one day mental illness won't be so stigmatized because all of that is just ridiculous. No one should be in fear of their job because of a disease or disorder they have.
You tell someone you have cancer, they want to help you in any way possible. But you tell someone you are bipolar they run away from you like you have the plague!