I hate my new grad nurse residency program HELP

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Hello,

I graduated dec and got accepted into the new grad nurse residency program and I HATE MY JOB. I am on medsurg and I've always wanted to be in the ED, but they don't hire new grads through this program in the ED. I cry everyday before I go and when I get home and on my off days because I am that miserable. I signed a 2 year contract, but I CANNOT stay for that long. I've been there for 2 months and it isn't getting any better. My preceptor and I don't click and I feel as if I'm a burden to her when I ask questions.. I haven't made any friends on the unit and I am a very outgoing person. I moved to a new state to take this job and don't know anyone or have any friends here. I am struggling and would love some insight. I have always loved nursing throughout school and clinicals, but I feel as if I have chosen the wrong career path. How do I get out of this 2 year contract? Is it bad to break the contract? I don't care about paying back the money I would go into debt thats how miserable I am.

Ok, so I come from a bit of a different place and this is what I've learnt: Feelings are not always fun, but they will not kill me. I don't like feeling scared, I don't like feeling like a burden, I don't like feeling like I'm not up to speed. However, if I possess the basics to keep a person safe and protect my license, I can make it through, one day at a time. Stay in the moment... when you are in that moment, ask yourself, "what is so bad about this moment?" If it's feeling scared, or tired, or hopeless, ask yourself if it's going to kill you? If it isn't going to kill you, you're safe. One foot in front of the other... Make it through a task, breathe. Make it through the next task, breathe again. Break your days down into as manageable blocks of time as you need to.

The preceptor: Is she going to kill you? She can't, she'd lose her job. In our local hospitals, preceptors get paid for precepting. I'm not sure how it is in your hospital. If she's getting preceptor pay, she is there to teach you. If she's not, she still agreed to be your preceptor. You have the right to ask questions when you are uncertain or for whatever...

This may all sound really silly, but I ask myself all the time if something is going to kill me when I get all spun out about it. And I feel stronger when I make it to the other side and don't die!

If it is still too much, have a sit down with your boss and just be honest. She can't kill you either! Wooooooooooooo

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I also want to add that if you've made it through 2 months feeling this way, you're already a rock star in my book.

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Specializes in ED, psych.
Ok, so I come from a bit of a different place and this is what I've learnt: Feelings are not always fun, but they will not kill me. I don't like feeling scared, I don't like feeling like a burden, I don't like feeling like I'm not up to speed. However, if I possess the basics to keep a person safe and protect my license, I can make it through, one day at a time. Stay in the moment... when you are in that moment, ask yourself, "what is so bad about this moment?" If it's feeling scared, or tired, or hopeless, ask yourself if it's going to kill you? If it isn't going to kill you, you're safe. One foot in front of the other... Make it through a task, breathe. Make it through the next task, breathe again. Break your days down into as manageable blocks of time as you need to.

The preceptor: Is she going to kill you? She can't, she'd lose her job. In our local hospitals, preceptors get paid for precepting. I'm not sure how it is in your hospital. If she's getting preceptor pay, she is there to teach you. If she's not, she still agreed to be your preceptor. You have the right to ask questions when you are uncertain or for whatever...

This may all sound really silly, but I ask myself all the time if something is going to kill me when I get all spun out about it. And I feel stronger when I make it to the other side and don't die!

If it is still too much, have a sit down with your boss and just be honest. She can't kill you either! Wooooooooooooo

This is EXCELLENT advice. I can't love this post enough ...

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I am not yet a nurse, but I empathize with what you're going through: I left my life behind and moved to a new state where I knew NO ONE to go to nursing school. I very much dislike where I live, I don't particularly click with my peers, and frankly, I really dislike my nursing program as a whole.

That said, I am constantly reminding myself that this is just a stepping stone. In the grand scheme of things, the two years I'm spending here are nothing. This is not my entire life, it's just a thing I happen to be doing.

The same goes for you. This job isn't the rest of your life, it's just a thing you happen to be doing right now. Once you get through it, the world is your oyster! Move back home, move to a city you already love! Or maybe after the two years, you'll find that you actually do like it and just needed to give it time.

Either way, feel free to PM me if you want to talk more about it, I really do feel your pain.

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Specializes in Pediatric Critical Care.
It takes a year. You have to prove yourself, you're going to be burden, and when another fresh RN starts, remember that. Treat them the way you would've wanted to be treated.

Stick with it for a year. Spoken from experience.

This is really good advice.

As a new grad, I also moved to a new state for a residency program. Like you (OP), I knew no one and had no support system there. It was REALLY hard, and the job was nothing like what I thought it would be, and I had no friends or family there to help me feel better about things.

It took about six months for the job to even start getting better, and it took almost exactly one year to start making friends.

I ended up staying for several years and even though I have since moved away, I consider that place home. No regrets.

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Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

It's just a job. Get what you can from it and then move on.

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This sounds VERY familiar. If you don't mind, message me and tell me what hospital... this sounds too similar....

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PS: feelings aside. I will tell you what I know some of us who were non traditional new grads did if we felt like we were being snubbed by preceptors. Talk to your manager about it in an objective way. For example,: "I have lots of questions and sometimes a preceptor doesn't answer them for me and if I had someone that could take the time to answer these questions, I will be better prepared for taking assignments when I am out of orientation."

Something like that.

Even though my first nursing job I learned a lot about patient care and organization and tech skills but some very rough and snubbing nurses, I've always had really good preceptors selected for me. Usually people who have had 10+ years experience

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You may always hate this job and if that is the case, what are you going to do about it? So many people get hung up in thinking that they have to love every job that they work. You don't have to love it but can you do the job properly right now? If not, do something else. Hopefully you will work a job that you love one day but for now, maybe you just need to make some type of peace with what you have to do until that day comes. If you have any issues with your preceptor, address her first. It is only right. That will allow for the chance of some type of work relationship. If you are crying before work, does it show on your face.?That is not something you want. Crying is okay but if you are showing up to work with teary eyes and traces of tears on your face it sets you up to be avoided by staff. You won't always have to be where you are right now but you may need to be where you are right now.

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You'll find a lot of new grads hate their first job. 99% will not land their dream job the first time around. It's new and unfamiliar. Give it at least 6 months. Trust me. I've found this to be my personal hump to get over. Usually by then I know if I'm gonna love a job or not. Stay positive. Focus on what you like about the job

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-No job is perfect, ever!! Make a list of pros and cons and think of the pros on bad days

-Even if you switch jobs you could HATE your new job, the grass is not always greener on the other side

-Make a five year plan and start working towards it- can you volunteer in the ED or shadow? Take ACLS, PALS etc now so when you do interview for your dream job they will be very impressed you took the time on you own to better your skills, take classes to be a paramedic? Anything to get you closer to your goal

-Can you switch preceptors?

- Med surg nursing is an excellent base for any specialty in nursing

-Have a life outside work, only deal with work on work days

-It takes at least six months to get comfortable

-Nursing is very difficult- it does not matter if you're in a new grad residency

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Thank you, pixierose. Some of us nurses become nurses before we know we have our own issues that need to be looked after too. It's difficult, but it can be overcome and then we feel very strong.

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