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I am not good at nursing

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by Lostinorlando Lostinorlando (New Member) New Member Nurse

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On 5/26/2019 at 11:28 PM, Lostinorlando said:

 I gave IVP ativan to a patient who was scared of an MRI. I gave it at the time it was scheduled, instead of holding it for the MRI, which hadn't called yet. Although it was scheduled, the parameters stated to hold for MRI. How can I explain this to my assistant managers and manager? I know I was wrong, and I was rushing. Luckily I was able to get the patient to the MRI right away, but it doesn't excuse a mistake.

I personally don't even think this is a med error. I think this is a systems failure. Why was a med that had parameters for when to give it scheduled in the first place? This should have been ordered as a PRN med, or as an unscheduled one-time dose. The provider who put the order in should have known better. And the pharmacist who verified it should have realized that it did not belong in the scheduled meds. Yes, you should have caught this as well prior to giving it, but it went past at least two other people before you as well. It sucks that you have to be mindful of things like this, but that's nursing today. Now you'll know for next time. But if anyone tries to pin all of this responsibility on you then THEY are in the wrong. 

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JBMmom has 6 years experience as a MSN and specializes in Long term care; med-surg; critical care.

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Please don't jump to the conclusion that you're not good at nursing. Are you totally proficient in a challenging profession after only six months? No. But are you supposed to be? No, not really. You are human, and you're adjusting to a busy floor in the real world after your school experiences, which were under much more controlled circumstances. Do you like nursing? If so, give yourself a break and allow yourself to be new and know that things will get better.

The mistake you made was totally understandable, and probably not a big deal. Don't worry too much about it, I hope that no one have made it into a bigger issue than it needs to be.

Keep your head up, it gets better. Good luck!

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I worked in the hospital for 3 years. I never did take a liking to it and I worked weekend nights for most of it. I'm glad I pushed through because I have more confidence and respect for myself. However, I always felt like I was risking my license because there is so much thrown at hospital nurses. It doesn't matter which floor you're on or which hospital IMO. I am also more book-smart and analytical and enjoy slower-paced settings where I can think things out and practice skills repeatedly. I now work for the health department in an STD clinic and love it. Try finding a public health job once you've reached a year in the hospital if you still don't like it. Hospital nursing isn't for everyone and that is perfectly fine

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nrsang97 has 12 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.

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You are being way too hard on yourself.  You made a minor mistake.  Yes the ativan was at the wrong time, but you owned up to it.  If any nurse ever tells you that they never made a medication error they're lying.

You have only been a nurse for 6 months.  No one is perfect.  You sound like you are doing just fine to me.  Try not to be so hard on yourself.  I have been a nurse for 18 years.  I have definitely made mistakes.  It doesn't mean you stink as a nurse, it means you're human.  

You do not suck as a nurse.  

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FolksBtrippin is a BSN, RN and specializes in Psychiatry, Pediatrics, Public Health.

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On 5/26/2019 at 11:28 PM, Lostinorlando said:

 I gave IVP ativan to a patient who was scared of an MRI. I gave it at the time it was scheduled, instead of holding it for the MRI, which hadn't called yet. Although it was scheduled, the parameters stated to hold for MRI. How can I explain this to my assistant managers and manager? I know I was wrong, and I was rushing. Luckily I was able to get the patient to the MRI right away, but it doesn't excuse a mistake.

Why would you need to explain this to your managers? You got the patient to MRI. No harm, no foul. 

Even if you didnt get the patient to MRI, and the dose was mistimed, I don't  think this would have been a big deal.

Is anyone besides you being hard on you for this?

You have said "this does not excuse a mistake." This is not the way to look at errors.

We don't need to look for excuses when we make mistakes. We need to notice them as soon as we can, and correct them. That's responsibility and it is paramount to nursing. 

To be the most responsible nurse you can be, you need adequate support from your manager and administration. If you are afraid of being thrown under the bus you can't act conscientiously because you'll be obsessed with covering your ***. 

If your working environment is hostile, and nurses get fired for making honest mistakes then get out of there, and don't let it destroy your feelings of self worth. 

 

Edited by FolksBtrippin

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I haven't even received my RN license but I'd like to say that 6 months in anything is still in training wheels so to speak. You're still learning and you'll keep learning. I've learned that the worst time for anything is the beginning because you're adjusting your rhythm and into the new job.

Just to answer the question with your BSN I think you can teach LPN's. I would say keep doing what you're doing, but there's always that option if you don't wanna do bedside nursing.

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Jedrnurse has 25 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in school nurse.

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41 minutes ago, The0Walrus said:

I haven't even received my RN license but I'd like to say that 6 months in anything is still in training wheels so to speak. You're still learning and you'll keep learning. I've learned that the worst time for anything is the beginning because you're adjusting your rhythm and into the new job.

Just to answer the question with your BSN I think you can teach LPN's. I would say keep doing what you're doing, but there's always that option if you don't wanna do bedside nursing.

I disagree that someone who has little experience and states that they're very uncomfortable with their bedside nursing ability should be teaching nursing students.

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16 hours ago, Jedrnurse said:

I disagree that someone who has little experience and states that they're very uncomfortable with their bedside nursing ability should be teaching nursing students.

She maybe a better teacher than bedside nurse. Bedside nursing isn't everything. That is another option as a BSN nurse. Teaching requires more theory and teaching plans.

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Jedrnurse has 25 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in school nurse.

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1 minute ago, The0Walrus said:

She maybe a better teacher than bedside nurse. Bedside nursing isn't everything. That is another option as a BSN nurse. Teaching requires more theory and teaching plans.

I agree with you about the ability to teach being a different skill, but a couple of things-

1. LPN programs are very hands-on nursing oriented so I do think that someone teaching those students should be good at the skills being taught.

 

2. With "credential inflation" it's hard to get a job teaching at the BSN level; many places require a minimum of a master's degree.

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I’m very appreciative to all the advice that’s been given, and I have to say I’ve felt relieved and realized this isn’t me. 

The backstory is when I got hired to this floor, the nurses asked me if this was what I’d wanted. For the first couple weeks I said “Well I really want labor and delivery but there are no openings. This floor is great to learn from though”. I didn’t realize it had been a mistake to say that until my manager told me “We’ll spend this time training you just for you to go off to L&D in 6 months” during a discussion with her when I’d gotten reported by a nurse for being afraid to talk to physicians. Oh my gosh that’s another story. I asked a nurse to assess a patient’s new swollen leg with me and got reported that I don’t know when to call the physician. (I did call the physician this was because an hour later after the phys didn’t intervene, he didn’t think it was a clot, I thought the leg then felt warm but wasn’t sure) Anyway -  this is all partly my fault not the floor/management. I’m very shy and it invites something like bullying. I don’t stand up or speak up for myself so I have to learn to. Funny part is after I’ve been here a few months, I realized L&D wouldn’t be a good floor for me as a new nurse because I might not have learned enough skills or different conditions outside of L&D. The cardiac patient population also started growing on me. I had talked about wanting to be a midwife one day to the other nurses in the beginning, but then I wondered if I’d like geriatrics. I like helping them manage their prescriptions and educating.

I was asked to leave the floor yesterday. (My manager said the patient wasn’t even scared to get an MRI - this wasn’t true, the patient stated she wanted to back out and hoped the Ativan would help but a nurse told my manager the patient wasn’t scared I guess. I said she was scared and the manager just smirked like she didn’t believe me) HR wants me to call today with other suggestions where I would like to go. Have to start the whole orientation process over again. Can anyone recommend a floor for me? I was considering a vent/medsurg unit, trauma step down, even ICU. Where ever is a good place to start. I won’t be saying that I want to go anywhere else but I really do, just not sure what it is any more but I want to specialize in the future once I learn and worked a couple years. Thanks again it has been so supportive to read and I realized my floor was the exact opposite I’m not blameless but it was toxic.

Edited by Lostinorlando

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10 minutes ago, Lostinorlando said:

For the first couple weeks I said “Well I really want labor and delivery but there are no openings. This floor is great to learn from though”. I didn’t realize it had been a mistake to say that until my manager told me “We’ll spend this time training you just for you to go off to L&D in 6 months”

 

11 minutes ago, Lostinorlando said:

I’m very shy and it invites something like bullying.

 

The way you conduct yourself definitely may invite lack of confidence in your abilities and even outright dislike in some circumstances—like when you tell those around you that you didn't really want to be where you are (which is where they are, and where they are working to train you). This is kind of one of those things where no one should expect to figuratively throw hand grenades and then receive sympathy for others' reactions to them.

Talk to HR and hear your options. Then pick yourself up/put your chin up, think about where you can be committed to success, and go for it.

This will be a major life learning experience and you can come out much better off if you can make a commitment to believe in yourself. Talking to a professional about your feelings, motivations, and fears may help with some perspective and self-confidence.

Best wishes~

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Ruby Vee has 40 years experience as a BSN and specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

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On 5/27/2019 at 6:37 AM, panurse9999 said:

This post screams of a new grad with unlimited potential and zeal, who is being systematically cut down and put down by a toxic nurse manager. I am sad to read a post like this. I have walked in these shoes. I have had my confidence robbed by a pack of dysfunctional unhappy nurses, whose only goal was to deep six a new nurse. They want you to doubt yourself and ultimately walk away, so that they are perceived as  "indispensible" goddess nurses within the organization. 

This is the toxic culture that lives in the hospital systems like a pandemic virus that is near impossible to eradicate. Its 20 years since I walked that walk, and it seems nothing has changed. My advice is keep your chin up, keep your confidence up. Do not let them destroy you. I would also document your experiences as a new nurse, with specifics , dates and times. When the time is right FOR YOU, and you can get out with enough time on the job to lead to something else, hand that documented list into the appropriate people at the highest levels of hospital management. 

I remember one time using a 5cc syringe nss flush instead of a 10cc syringe nss flush on a PICC line, (because we were out of the 10cc flushes) and was told that I was incompetent, and could have blown a hole in the line. DO NOT LET THEM TAKE YOU DOWN. 

I must have missed where the culture was toxic.  Perhaps, like all of us, you are viewing the original post through your own lens.  

Viewing the culture as toxic (not my fault) takes away from the introspection that might lead a new nurse to examine her own contributions toward her workplace relationships, whether they're negative or positive.  That would be a mistake.  And giving a list of complaints to people at the highest levels of hospital management isn't going to help advance a nursing career.  It might even get you blacklisted.  That can be a real problem with hospitals buying each other up and health care systems gobbling up all of the facilities in an area.

I fail to see "unlimited potential" in this very brief post, and "unlimited zeal" is a major stretch.  I fear your advice, as much as anything in the OP's workplace, is toxic.

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