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I don’t know if I want to be a nurse anymore

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by Vigirl465 Vigirl465 (New) New Student

I failed nursing school twice. I always thought I had a love for nursing! I was kicked out of my nursing school in 2019 and have been waiting to get back into a program ever since. I have the opportunity to apply for a program that starts in December; however, now I’m having doubts about entering the nursing field. During my weird break from school, I worked in a hospital as a CNA right at the start of COVID. I became soooo burnt out after a year and a half that would call out constantly and finally decided to resign. I got my EKG certification and am currently working as a telemetry technician on a PCU unit. I hate it just as much. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I love helping people and I love the art of caring. I would consider myself to be highly empathetic, understanding, and patient. I’m an introvert who tends to tire easily from a lot of constant stimulation. I hate stressful situations and environments and I’m worn down from the patients that complain their food is too cold and management reprimanding us for not making their stay as lovely as possible. I hate the abuse and being short staffed. I love caring for people; but, I don’t think I could work for a big corporate hospital. Not only that, I’m $80,000 in school debt, have a three month old baby, and just want to get a degree. I just don’t think nursing is for me... but, I have no idea what else I would do. I’m stuck and confused! Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you so much!

NightNerd, BSN, RN

Specializes in Med-surg/tele. Has 7 years experience.

"Helping people" and "the art of caring" cover a lot of ground. What specifically do you enjoy about caring for people? Teaching new knowledge and skills? Helping with ADLs? Using science to help improve a person's health? Listening to them and providing acceptance and perspective? I think that narrowing this down would give you better direction on other potential options.

I will say that, while I completely identify with being tired of people complaining about things out of our control, any career that involves helping people will come with some complaints and negativity. My boyfriend is a social worker and I'm a med-surg nurse, and we both sat on the couch yesterday lamenting how very difficult it is to give people everything they need. All this to say, no matter what, it's an asset to develop a thick skin, know what gives you resilience, and identify your dealbreakers in a workplace - no matter what human services work you do.

Davey Do

Specializes in around 25 years psych, 10 years medical. Has 42 years experience.

6 hours ago, Vigirl465 said:

Not only that, I’m $80,000 in school debt, have a three month old baby, and just want to get a degree. I just don’t think nursing is for me... but, I have no idea what else I would do. I’m stuck and confused! 

Wow, Vigirl. This sounds like the plane has already crashed into the mountain and is just now requesting bearings.

Getting back to the basics, meeting our needs, and those for whom we're responsible, is of primary importance.

Our happiness will come once we're at peace with who we are, and not from some sort of external validation.

GOOD LUCK!

hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I

Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life). Has 19 years experience.

3 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

Our happiness will come once we're at peace with who we are, and not from some sort of external validation.

Oh Master

This Padewan requests to use this on occasion as a tagline, but only with your permission

You're right. Nursing isn't for you. Good luck with your future endeavors.

Have an evaluation by your PCP to make sure your physical and/or mental health is in order. That's the first step here based on what you wrote.

Don't try to make any more big decisions without understanding yourself and your goals. Attend to yourself then revisit your options when you are on solid footing. There are lots of ways care for others or to provide a service that helps others.

IMO nursing is most definitely not a profession to enter without some significant motivation and without being pretty sure that it's what one really desires to get into.

 

pinkdoves, BSN

Specializes in Pediatrics. Has 2 years experience.

4 hours ago, NurseBlaq said:

You're right. Nursing isn't for you. Good luck with your future endeavors.

that's a pretty bold statement for someone (I'm assuming) who doesn't even know the OP

Davey Do

Specializes in around 25 years psych, 10 years medical. Has 42 years experience.

4 hours ago, NurseBlaq said:

You're right. Nursing isn't for you. Good luck with your future endeavors.

 

27 minutes ago, pinkdoves said:

that's a pretty bold statement for someone (I'm assuming) who doesn't even know the OP

When we have been repeatedly exposed to numerous situations for years, there are earmarks- characteristic or identifying features- that are identifiable in deducing an outcome.

A Physician told me nearly 40 years go that if a Patient presents with seven out of ten symptoms of a disease, there's a very good chance that the patient is suffering from that disease.

15 hours ago, Vigirl465 said:

I was kicked out of my nursing school...I’m having doubts about entering the nursing field... I became soooo burnt out after a year and a half that would call out constantly and finally decided to resign... I got my EKG certification and am currently working as a telemetry technician on a PCU unit. I hate it just as much....  I’m an introvert who tends to tire easily from a lot of constant stimulation. I hate stressful situations and environments and I’m worn down from the patients that complain... I just don’t think nursing is for me...  

At least ten "symptoms" show that NurseBlaq has made a consensually correct "diagnosis".

londonflo

Specializes in oncology. Has 44 years experience.

16 hours ago, Vigirl465 said:

I’m $80,000 in school debt,

What credits have you earned that you can transfer into some major (not necessarily health care?

 

16 hours ago, Vigirl465 said:

have a three month old baby,

I am sure you are extraordinarily tired also. Hope you have some reliable help. Best wishes..

2 hours ago, pinkdoves said:

that's a pretty bold statement for someone (I'm assuming) who doesn't even know the OP

The OP told us themself. Nothing about what I read screams "should be a nurse". Nope, just don't waste any more time going down that path. Choose a new one and good luck.

2 hours ago, Davey Do said:

 

When we have been repeatedly exposed to numerous situations for years, there are earmarks- characteristic or identifying features- that are identifiable in deducing an outcome.

A Physician told me nearly 40 years go that if a Patient presents with seven out of ten symptoms of a disease, there's a very good chance that the patient is suffering from that disease.

At least ten "symptoms" show that NurseBlaq has made a consensually correct "diagnosis".

That's it!

Davey Do

Specializes in around 25 years psych, 10 years medical. Has 42 years experience.

17 hours ago, NurseBlaq said:

You're right. Nursing isn't for you. Good luck with your future endeavors.

I laughed when I first read your post, NurseBlaq, due to the sheer candor of the statement. I wanted to give it a positive reaction immediately, but believed my action might be taken as a kicking somebody when they're down.

11 hours ago, NurseBlaq said:

The OP told us themself. Nothing about what I read screams "should be a nurse". Nope, just don't waste any more time going down that path. Choose a new one and good luck.

Most times the truths most difficult to take are the ones we most need to learn.

There are certain endeavors in my life I attempted to successfully pursue and The Forces That Be told me, ""No no no...", but I did anyway. I learned that sometimes no matter how hard we want something and work hard at attaining it, it is not meant to be.

Davey Do

Specializes in around 25 years psych, 10 years medical. Has 42 years experience.

12 hours ago, londonflo said:

What credits have you earned that you can transfer into some major (not necessarily health care?

Good idea, londonflo, making use of what we have!

macawake, MSN

Has 13 years experience.

14 hours ago, pinkdoves said:

that's a pretty bold statement for someone (I'm assuming) who doesn't even know the OP

I agree 100%. It’s amazing how certain some posters are about the conclusions they can draw about another person’s personality and life based on a single post on the internet.

I guess that for example the possibility of a person with a three-month-old baby suffering from postpartum depression and that could affect their outlook and feelings about life and work and how they talk about them, never crossed their minds? There are a lot of things that can leave a person feeling lost and confused.  Starting out a career in healthcare during the worst pandemic any one of us have seen in our lifetimes could be one. Working in a new career in healthcare during a pandemic while being pregnant can definitely be a stressor. Being in debt and feeling uncertain about ones career choice is likely stressful. 

My point is that we simply don’t know enough about OP’s situation to be offering definitive advice on life-altering decisions. Maybe nursing isn’t the right choice for OP, but she needs to decide that for herself. OP says that she doesn’t know what’s ”wrong with her”. I don’t know either and perhaps there is nothing wrong with her at all. But she needs help and support in real life to figure that out.

 

14 hours ago, JKL33 said:

Have an evaluation by your PCP to make sure your physical and/or mental health is in order. That's the first step here based on what you wrote.

Don't try to make any more big decisions without understanding yourself and your goals. Attend to yourself then revisit your options when you are on solid footing. There are lots of ways care for others or to provide a service that helps others.

IMO nursing is most definitely not a profession to enter without some significant motivation and without being pretty sure that it's what one really desires to get into.

 

The most helpful advice in this thread. I second it. 
 

OP, best wishes and take care!

SmilingBluEyes

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis. Has 24 years experience.

Nursing may not be for you........right now.  I agree with both sides of the argument for and against. I would like to see you get evaluated for post partum depression and mental wellbeing, as well as physical evaluation before you make a major decision.

You have invested a lot in your education. Right now, nursing may not be for you. But maybe, in a better frame of mind,  it may be, down the road.

I wish you well, OP. I am sorry you are feeling this way.

Curious1997, BSN

Specializes in Psych, Medical. Has 13 years experience.

I think it's only in industrialized countries, mainly, possibly, that people use their professions for satisfaction? I see it as an entitlement of ignorance! The drinkers of the cool aid of picket fences etc. 

I believe that unless you are actually working for yourself in your own business or adopt a mindset of the job is a means to pay the bills, you won't be satisfied or happy. 

Happiness doesn't lie with a job, that's why it's called a job! You need a lifestyle outside of the job to feel content, so that when you go to the job it's simply a source of income. You will be more productive and objective that way. You won't get caught up in politics or emotional incidents etc. Nursing is a backup for me in case my business doesn't work out. It's something that allows me to feel reassurance that I could be incapacitated and old and still find a niche to enable me to earn a crust. This attitude and enlightenment allows me to be so much more effective and disassociated from the always personal conflicts that so many staff members experience. 

I think the OP would benefit from adopting this attitude. 

Edited by Curious1997

On 6/5/2021 at 7:10 AM, macawake said:

I agree 100%. It’s amazing how certain some posters are about the conclusions they can draw about another person’s personality and life based on a single post on the internet.

I guess that for example the possibility of a person with a three-month-old baby suffering from postpartum depression and that could affect their outlook and feelings about life and work and how they talk about them, never crossed their minds? There are a lot of things that can leave a person feeling lost and confused.  Starting out a career in healthcare during the worst pandemic any one of us have seen in our lifetimes could be one. Working in a new career in healthcare during a pandemic while being pregnant can definitely be a stressor. Being in debt and feeling uncertain about ones career choice is likely stressful. 

My point is that we simply don’t know enough about OP’s situation to be offering definitive advice on life-altering decisions. Maybe nursing isn’t the right choice for OP, but she needs to decide that for herself. OP says that she doesn’t know what’s ”wrong with her”. I don’t know either and perhaps there is nothing wrong with her at all. But she needs help and support in real life to figure that out.

 

The most helpful advice in this thread. I second it. 
 

OP, best wishes and take care!

Take your own advice. I had PPD during school and made it through because I wanted to be a nurse and didn't give up and didn't fail out of the program. I legit WANTED to make it through and didn't hate patient care or anything about nursing. YOU don't know that though. I can relate to OP's story, yet other things OP said don't point to them wanting to nor ever being a nurse.

Next time you try to sneak diss at least have the guts to say my name or quote me directly. You're always hostile to me then have the nerve to want to know why I speak ill to you or play some fake victim status when I call you on it. YOU can't speak to my life experience because YOU don't know a damn thing about me. However, I can speak to OP's experience because I've had a similar experience. Next time, shut up about what I think, know, say, do, experience, or anything else relative to me because all you do is go thread to thread speaking trash about what I post. It's old and stalkerish. Find something else to do in your life and maybe you'll find some happiness because it's clear you're miserable. Ugh!

Davey Do

Specializes in around 25 years psych, 10 years medical. Has 42 years experience.

I am entertained by your post, NurseBlaq.

However, there are those who I've learned to ignore, in order to continue to think of myself as a person of integrity who practises the art of loving indifference.

21 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

I am entertained by your post, NurseBlaq.

However, there are those who I've learned to ignore, in order to continue to think of myself as a person of integrity who practises the art of loving indifference.

Agreed. I ignore a few right here on AN for that exact reason. There are some I ignore in real life too because they thrive off drama and my time is too valuable for them to waste.