I don’t know if I want to be a nurse anymore

Nurses General Nursing

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I failed nursing school twice. I always thought I had a love for nursing! I was kicked out of my nursing school in 2019 and have been waiting to get back into a program ever since. I have the opportunity to apply for a program that starts in December; however, now I’m having doubts about entering the nursing field. During my weird break from school, I worked in a hospital as a CNA right at the start of COVID. I became soooo burnt out after a year and a half that would call out constantly and finally decided to resign. I got my EKG certification and am currently working as a telemetry technician on a PCU unit. I hate it just as much. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I love helping people and I love the art of caring. I would consider myself to be highly empathetic, understanding, and patient. I’m an introvert who tends to tire easily from a lot of constant stimulation. I hate stressful situations and environments and I’m worn down from the patients that complain their food is too cold and management reprimanding us for not making their stay as lovely as possible. I hate the abuse and being short staffed. I love caring for people; but, I don’t think I could work for a big corporate hospital. Not only that, I’m $80,000 in school debt, have a three month old baby, and just want to get a degree. I just don’t think nursing is for me... but, I have no idea what else I would do. I’m stuck and confused! Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you so much!

14 hours ago, pinkdoves said:

that's a pretty bold statement for someone (I'm assuming) who doesn't even know the OP

I agree 100%. It’s amazing how certain some posters are about the conclusions they can draw about another person’s personality and life based on a single post on the internet.

I guess that for example the possibility of a person with a three-month-old baby suffering from postpartum depression and that could affect their outlook and feelings about life and work and how they talk about them, never crossed their minds? There are a lot of things that can leave a person feeling lost and confused.  Starting out a career in healthcare during the worst pandemic any one of us have seen in our lifetimes could be one. Working in a new career in healthcare during a pandemic while being pregnant can definitely be a stressor. Being in debt and feeling uncertain about ones career choice is likely stressful. 

My point is that we simply don’t know enough about OP’s situation to be offering definitive advice on life-altering decisions. Maybe nursing isn’t the right choice for OP, but she needs to decide that for herself. OP says that she doesn’t know what’s ”wrong with her”. I don’t know either and perhaps there is nothing wrong with her at all. But she needs help and support in real life to figure that out.

 

14 hours ago, JKL33 said:

Have an evaluation by your PCP to make sure your physical and/or mental health is in order. That's the first step here based on what you wrote.

Don't try to make any more big decisions without understanding yourself and your goals. Attend to yourself then revisit your options when you are on solid footing. There are lots of ways care for others or to provide a service that helps others.

IMO nursing is most definitely not a profession to enter without some significant motivation and without being pretty sure that it's what one really desires to get into.

 

The most helpful advice in this thread. I second it. 
 

OP, best wishes and take care!

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Nursing may not be for you........right now.  I agree with both sides of the argument for and against. I would like to see you get evaluated for post partum depression and mental wellbeing, as well as physical evaluation before you make a major decision.

You have invested a lot in your education. Right now, nursing may not be for you. But maybe, in a better frame of mind,  it may be, down the road.

I wish you well, OP. I am sorry you are feeling this way.

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I think it's only in industrialized countries, mainly, possibly, that people use their professions for satisfaction? I see it as an entitlement of ignorance! The drinkers of the cool aid of picket fences etc. 

I believe that unless you are actually working for yourself in your own business or adopt a mindset of the job is a means to pay the bills, you won't be satisfied or happy. 

Happiness doesn't lie with a job, that's why it's called a job! You need a lifestyle outside of the job to feel content, so that when you go to the job it's simply a source of income. You will be more productive and objective that way. You won't get caught up in politics or emotional incidents etc. Nursing is a backup for me in case my business doesn't work out. It's something that allows me to feel reassurance that I could be incapacitated and old and still find a niche to enable me to earn a crust. This attitude and enlightenment allows me to be so much more effective and disassociated from the always personal conflicts that so many staff members experience. 

I think the OP would benefit from adopting this attitude. 

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On 6/5/2021 at 7:10 AM, macawake said:

I agree 100%. It’s amazing how certain some posters are about the conclusions they can draw about another person’s personality and life based on a single post on the internet.

I guess that for example the possibility of a person with a three-month-old baby suffering from postpartum depression and that could affect their outlook and feelings about life and work and how they talk about them, never crossed their minds? There are a lot of things that can leave a person feeling lost and confused.  Starting out a career in healthcare during the worst pandemic any one of us have seen in our lifetimes could be one. Working in a new career in healthcare during a pandemic while being pregnant can definitely be a stressor. Being in debt and feeling uncertain about ones career choice is likely stressful. 

My point is that we simply don’t know enough about OP’s situation to be offering definitive advice on life-altering decisions. Maybe nursing isn’t the right choice for OP, but she needs to decide that for herself. OP says that she doesn’t know what’s ”wrong with her”. I don’t know either and perhaps there is nothing wrong with her at all. But she needs help and support in real life to figure that out.

 

The most helpful advice in this thread. I second it. 
 

OP, best wishes and take care!

Take your own advice. I had PPD during school and made it through because I wanted to be a nurse and didn't give up and didn't fail out of the program. I legit WANTED to make it through and didn't hate patient care or anything about nursing. YOU don't know that though. I can relate to OP's story, yet other things OP said don't point to them wanting to nor ever being a nurse.

Next time you try to sneak diss at least have the guts to say my name or quote me directly. You're always hostile to me then have the nerve to want to know why I speak ill to you or play some fake victim status when I call you on it. YOU can't speak to my life experience because YOU don't know a damn thing about me. However, I can speak to OP's experience because I've had a similar experience. Next time, shut up about what I think, know, say, do, experience, or anything else relative to me because all you do is go thread to thread speaking trash about what I post. It's old and stalkerish. Find something else to do in your life and maybe you'll find some happiness because it's clear you're miserable. Ugh!

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

I am entertained by your post, NurseBlaq.

However, there are those who I've learned to ignore, in order to continue to think of myself as a person of integrity who practises the art of loving indifference.

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21 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

I am entertained by your post, NurseBlaq.

However, there are those who I've learned to ignore, in order to continue to think of myself as a person of integrity who practises the art of loving indifference.

Agreed. I ignore a few right here on AN for that exact reason. There are some I ignore in real life too because they thrive off drama and my time is too valuable for them to waste.

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
1 minute ago, NurseBlaq said:

Agreed. I ignore a few right here on AN for that exact reason. There are some I ignore in real life too because they thrive off drama and my time is too valuable for them to waste.

Ditto.

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Specializes in Community/Public Health.
On 6/4/2021 at 2:49 AM, Vigirl465 said:

I hate stressful situations and environments and I’m worn down from the patients that complain their food is too cold and management reprimanding us for not making their stay as lovely as possible.

Did you work for a medical facility or a Hilton? Jeez. 

While your post does make it seem like you don't find healthcare to be a good fit, you can't judge all health care facilities based on one lousy one. Don't get me wrong, I don't think there's a magical unicorn hospital where everyone is happy and all the units are fully staffed, but some are better than others. 

Nursing isn't just hospitals, and it doesn't make you any less of a nurse to practice somewhere outside of a big medical center. Are you able to apply as a MA at a doctor's office or other outpatient health center? Your post makes it hard to say whether you hate the work itself, or just the environment that you've personally worked in. 

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Specializes in Community/Public Health.

Womp, I missed the part where you said you've failed twice before. What happened with that?

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Specializes in Physiology, CM, consulting, nsg edu, LNC, COB.

What did the ads say? “If caring were enough, anyone could be a nurse.” And yet we know that it’s not. 
 

We used to admit 25% more students than we had seats for because we knew that in three weeks our offices would fill with distraught students who always wanted to be nurses like their moms/aunties/peds office nurses/etc because they had a “passion for caring.” However, the reality of actual naked old people, excreta and ejecta, and the like combined c the intense science and math requirements knocked them for a loop. They didn’t know it was going to be like that and they just couldn’t do it. 

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On 6/4/2021 at 6:13 AM, Davey Do said:

Wow, Vigirl. This sounds like the plane has already crashed into the mountain and is just now requesting bearings.

Getting back to the basics, meeting our needs, and those for whom we're responsible, is of primary importance.

Our happiness will come once we're at peace with who we are, and not from some sort of external validation.

GOOD LUCK!

Hey, Davey Do! Thank you so much! I really appreciate your wisdom!

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9 hours ago, Hannahbanana said:

What did the ads say? “If caring were enough, anyone could be a nurse.” And yet we know that it’s not. 
 

We used to admit 25% more students than we had seats for because we knew that in three weeks our offices would fill with distraught students who always wanted to be nurses like their moms/aunties/peds office nurses/etc because they had a “passion for caring.” However, the reality of actual naked old people, excreta and ejecta, and the like combined c the intense science and math requirements knocked them for a loop. They didn’t know it was going to be like that and they just couldn’t do it. 

Awh! Isn't that the truth!! Thank you! Yes, I agree! The continuous bowel movements and naked people don't necessarily bother me... it's more of the angry patients we have to restrain, the stressful situations, the patient-to-tech ratio, etc.. I just get exhausted. I also would like to spend more time with each patient, but know I cannot. I also lack MAJOR boundaries... so, I find it hard to stand up for myself (but, I'm currently going through counseling for this).

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